Sacral chakra questions & sharings

Hey you, expecting results without effort! So sensitive! So long-suffering! You, in the clutches of death, acting like an immortal! Hey sufferer, you are destroying yourself!

-Santideva, Bodhicaryavatara

My interpretation of this buddhism wisdom quote is that yes we suffer but why dwelling in the darkness?why just living a life of endless lamentation drowning the beauty and sacredness of our soul in our pool of bitter tears.
Seize the day baby!
It's time to dry your tears and go right back towards the Light of being alive above Life itself ^______^

Did I knock my head today?
well each day of this month I found excuses to cheer myself up,oh seb can I buy chocolate to cheer me up? this stone!!! I need moldavite it'll change my life!
why not buy these biscuits I could do with some sugar I feel so lonely and gloomy!
oh and this cd!! it'll cheer me up for sure I need happy sounds to awoke the sleeping fae child in me, she fought with the blue muse( the brat inside of me) and so she decided to hibernate and let me alone so alone!
wake up wake up for Goddess sake! I can not be left alone!

I need to play ^_^ yessssss
I love to play
all day in my room :)

I bought Kate Nash cd today,it's been ages I haven't bought a cd(I am poor I can't afford it:P) and had forgotten the sweetness of music and how it inspires you, how you see landscapes and can run away in these worlds, remember some of your childhood fairy realms and light rekindle the sparks inside of you and summer is not gone NEVER!!!
oh and I can smell gently the magical scents of Mister Springtime...

ah Springtime Springtime hug me you're my favourite most friendly character in the universe!!!^_______^;;
I am sighing aaaaaaaaah
I deny all snowflakes or I'll turn them pink :P
oh and that mean shade of cold eeeeeek under blankets of lavender who cares?

naaaah Winter's not my friend, don't even mention December
she and I are crossed since a few years now...
Maybe this year could be the year of Peace?
should I forget forgive?
I don't think it's the year...I got this feeling that anyways December has always a missing part, a huge one.
My daughter.
The one to be born.
the one who is already there in the future ^_^

ah sighs, am I really ready to be a good mother?
I constantly doubt on this...for my artist selfish alone time needs and such...

Well, it's my third week of vertigo, feel tired but keep fighting and not let myself get depressed:-)
I am stronger, I just hope it'll soon be a bad memory:P

Now I would like to do the chakra thinking inspired by Mich's blog, you can find it:
here virtual circle


hey sisters and brothers,you can still do the chakra test
so you can play with us and answer the questions:-)
do share with me, I am curious to know:-)


Ok so today it's about the sacral chakra and mine is over active surely because I live in Emotional worlds ;-)



Healing essence of the sacral chakra

Located in our lower belly, it is where we relate to our bodies through the procreative centers. Through a healthy second chakra one can heal relationship problems, transform deep and hurtful emotions, and balance life.

Keywords: Life Energy, Creative, Procreative, Giving, Receiving, Inner Truth

Affirmations to practice this week:

* I make my decisions from a place of hope and faith.
* My creative drive is strong and exciting.
* My sexuality is fulfilling and meaningful.
* I am life.

Those of you who have bought Anodea Judith's Chakra Balancing Kit can move on to their workbooks, and if you like, blog your responses and link back to this post.

For those of you who don't have the book but would like to know a bit more about the first chakra, visit Anodea Judith's site and answer the questions below:

1. Do you express your emotions clearly and honestly?
Yes I do ^_^
well It's not easy to say aloud " I love you" because it's precious and important and I am very cold with that sentence so it sounds never sincere when I utter it, I am very awkward with " I love you"
I write it easily to the one who touch my heart, but I believe in Here and now of emotions.
There are obviously persons I declare I love and it ll be absolute truth and unchangeable come what may.
but I also love to allow myself to send love to sweet souls because here and now I care for them etc.

I express my anger, frustration,discontentement very easily too and my loved ones feel it at once! ^_^
even with distance and just emails.
I am very expressive, I don't believe in hiding emotions.
Yet sometimes I need to hide my sadness.
If I am hurt I may react more with indifference and coldness or anger sometimes,but smart anger then ;o)
I reply through art and creations.
I am honest, I don't mind being seen naked soul, it doesn't make me weaker but stronger I believe.
Perhaps because a lot of people are scared to show who they are and to be seen.
I guess there is something kind of careless in my attitude, I just do express who I am because I feel like it, I need it, I am expression, I am emotion...

I don't mind being ridiculous, silly,weak and whatnot:P
knowing that whatever I do my beloved ones trust and support and love me is my strength.I owe them.


2. Are you in touch with what you truly feel?
Yes, I always know I love and I am loved and it's beautiful.
I am lucky for this.
I know it because I remember loneliness, years of solitude and when I had to love seb in the distance as he was a penpal at first...2 years and a half, leaving at the station, me crying louder everytime!
I know the blessings of hugging and kissing everyday ;)

ok I won't lie, some people in the past told me the couple was torture!
that living together is a real challenge!
It is.
We have lived tough times.
It taught us a lot.
seb should remember to surprise me a little more so I'll stay forever ;)( kidding)

I am very connected to my feelings, and most of the time when I feel it,now I understand even better.
I was not that aware of all chakra to be honest, it's interesting to learn!
when I feel insulted, hurt,angry or in love,touched, I feel it there, like a wave of different sensations...


3. Do you set appropriate boundaries for yourself and in relation to others?

I don't know, it depends to who others are.
with some friends I am very in closeness and I don't have secrets for them, for my parents I never had secrets either...
I tell everything to seb,I bore him with all my thoughts ahah ;-)
I m joking of course I dont ^___^;;

well the limits are drawn at the entrance of my soul garden for sure.
I may look and sound as if I give it all about me, because I am honest real and sharing who I am but I still have my secret garden, my secrets dreams,flowers, magick,fantasies and such...no worries.

There are limits, I do protect myself, I believe my brain is my shield.
I know what is real and what is not. I am safe.

4. What pleasurable activites do you bring into your life?
art, writing,poetry,singing,painting,taking pictures, a lot of creative passions.
I take a lot of pleasure in the activites.
I think that poetry singing and painting are very sensual, sexual things in my life.
There is something very touching in words and every word lovers will agree with me.
The beauty,depths and intelligence of words/poetry/writing is orgasmic.
The same for painting, it's soothing pleasure, healing...


5. Do you move towards change and new experiences, or are you resistant?
I do move towards change and new experiences a lot but there big changes that still sometimes afraid me a bit.
I have an adventurous spirits, I am very shy and introvert but I love trying new things, experimenting.
but I am resistant too in the fact I love stability and things that will so called never changed but evolve in time.
Both are fine with me.
I can't wait for the big change of moving, but until now all apartment we're trying to visit are already rented alas.
I just hope I will be able to choose my life and location this time!
I haven t chosen my life here in Cambrai, my heart lead me here and of course I don't regret at all because I learnt, grew and evolved thanks to this path.
I guess we are where we are meant to be.


6. What are your passions?

intellectual,literarian, sensual and creative matters are my passions.Mystic, esoteric and beautiful things fascinate me so much.
I am in love with art making and writing, my big passions.



7. Do you value your own feelings and respond to them?
Well it depends, sometimes my feelings are way too immense like the ocean.I do express too much. My love for others makes me sometimes vulnerable, I feel what they feel,they affect me and my world.
But I love the feeling of love it is very nurturing and a big inspiration to me.
I listen to my heart,if my hearts say Love I will.
I don't live in denial. I may have been hurt and betrayed and abandonned a lot in the past, this year has opened me and taught me to trust more and allow myself to be wrong and to be naive if it has to be naive;)
I dont think it's naive to allow oneself to love, life is too short and if we meet like minded souls on our path it's good to welcome and recognize them:)
it's a warm feeling of déjà vu:)












Passion that makes you giggle
Passion that makes you blush
Petals after petals never seen red like this
Sweet Loving Madness and will o' the wisp of fantasies
Her hearth heart was always on fire
Flowers of flames was sighing innamoramento chants
She was alive running barefoot in the alleys of cinders
Everything rekindling after her footsteps
Some souls would dangerously verge the fall into her mist of dreams
But the ones who dared
They were carved in her heart deeply always and forever
She would take them by the hands to the infinite horizon
Where the heart shaped apples were sparkling and mesmerizing
She would innocently hand them the fruit of Desire
so they could taste heaven and never ever leave her heart Garden...

(....)
morning improvisation ^____^;; mwahahahahah( there should be some kind of evil witch laughter at the end of this one :P)

Everything is as it is. It has no name other than the name we give it. It is we who call it something; we give it a value. We say this thing is good or it's bad, but in itself, the thing is only as it is. It's not absolute; it's just as it is. People are just as they are.

-Ajahn Sumedho, "The Mind and the Way"

Art my Sweet Solace

Here is my mixed media painting for Illustration Friday: Grow
written in silver:
Seasons change & it s the same in my soul garden
I sometimes find myself dwelling longer in the Rock Garden
I know I have to face the Darkness in me to keep growing the flowers of light of my Soul...

I really think and prove art is best consolation ^_^
and of course my love's hug and understanding & my dearest friends acceptance and support!
you're wonderful you all!
Jen I love you <3<3<3<3<3
thank you so much for supporting me ,for loving my work and for your purchase.
Truly made my day/night ^___^yay!

“Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.”
tori amos

I always think that yes some people get bored or don't want to see your darkness, they prefer to see/meet you when the sunshine in your soul garden, but true friends are always welcoming and accepting:-)

and for the fun, some survey and quizz:

Couples survey!
1. Who eats more?
him I guess, I am very greedy one but seb is devouroUUsssSS one especially when he cook veggie lasagna or go buy some delicious pastries ^_^
we're French Yay( rarely chauvinistic so I allow myself this once in a while haha ^_^


2. Who said "I love you" first?
maybe me in a poem? but we both can't remember so maybe it was him, I had difficulty to utter this sentence ahah;)

3. Who is the morning person?
seb of course he wakes up so early sometimes, I dont understand, but hey I am not that lazy:P I sometimes wake up first just rarely:D
I love my bed warmth:)


4. Who sings better?
me I guess, haven't you seen my youtube ( laughing) well I sing under the shower,seb is much fun and adorable when he sings ;)

5. Who's older?
what's that question???:P meanie survey:P me ooops :P
really I don't mind,we have 4 years difference.


6. Who's smarter?
Me ^_^of course :P
kidding, I don't know depends on what you define by smart;)

7. Whose temper is worse?

Mine obviously I am a wicked witch
8. Who does the laundry?
me :P yes a Witch can do that too;)

9. Who does the dishes?
mean the washing of dishes? seb mostly and even more in winter because my hands hurt:( and also because I'm an haughty artist, what???my precious hands
they cannot be used that dirty degrading way:D
laughing
I loathe washing dishes:P
I want a machine who does it for me for xmas we got a deal Santa?;)

10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
me why?
does that mean something?
anyways, I just sleep where it closer to the wall, so anytime we move bed to change the room appearance I change to be closer to the wall, I need that
neurosis I guess ahah =^_^=

11. Whose feet are bigger?
seb ahahaha he is Big foot ^_________^and hobbits kind of feet ahahahah ;o)

12. Whose hair is longer?
mine

13. Who's better with the computer?
it depends, most of the time seb is but sometimes I do surprise myself wow wow I'm a geek is that possible!!!o___O
well seb knows coding and creating website and many softwares better than I do.

14. Do you have pets?
Yes :-) we both love animals:) later when we have money and a house we'll have more animals, birds in the garden,we'll create bird houses,we'll have fishes too,maybe other things we'll see:)


15. Who pays the bills?
it s complicated, we're both poor and not really independent we live thanks to the state.but we both share bills.

16. Who cooks dinner?
b oth, I cook, seb rmostly prepare dinner not real cooking you see
but when he cooks it's delicious!!!!<3<3<3
he is a chef ;) and I think there is nothing better than a guy who cooks for his little darling<3


17. Who drives when you are together?
Me :P
love driving but bothers me to be the taxi driver since too many years now, seb has his license but no insurance, too expensive!we can't afford it!


18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
it depends, I love to when I can :)
mostly it's seb because I rarely have money and I don't have a credit card, haven't had any since 2003 ;)

19. Who's the most stubborn?
both:P ok maybe me... I dont know!


20. Who is the first one to admit when they're wrong?
me :-) seb loves being right :P


21. Whose family do you see more?
Mine :D not my fault if my Parents are So Cool =^_____^=
seb's family is very different from mine and I don't feel home like in a family I am welcomed in I dont know
It's better than in the beginning but we're not verging any closeness.

22. Who named your pet?
we named Takun together but it's seb who found the name and I agreed and for Mayu it's me who chose but seb agreed:-)
we still don't know if we'll keep her, I want to!! I want to!
It's so warm and lovely to have two feline companions:-)
I love the life they create at home:)


23. Who kissed who first?
Him but I waited hours and hours, a whole with GREEN light written on my forehead, come on!!!! can't you see in my eyes!!! are you going to hold my hand? kiss me now????o____O
then at about 2:00 I began to be damn bored and he jumped at me ahahha :)
we just kissed, seb was so sweetly shy <3
It was a beautiful passionate and so wanted first kiss!


24. Who asked who out?
none we just decided it was the beginning of a love story,no engagement, just having fun and loving:-)
I was not serious at first because I had just broken up with my ex a month ago.just wanted to love:)
and I then madly fell in love <3 and wanted engagement and all ahah;)


25. Who stole question 25?
?

26. Who's more sensitive?
me of course:P seb is a cold heart :P kidding, he's not much expressive, but he would be moved at little bird crashed by a car.

27. Who's taller?
him, he is 1m85 and I am 1m70

28. Who has more friends?
I don' t know, he has more friends in France that he can meet for real, I have more friends around the world;)
I am closer with my friends, he is rather distant and don't need to meet them much.
I guess I kinda like it because He's mine then ;D
no really I try to tell him, hey phone your friends, ask their news etc
he just doesn't think about these things:) that's my love;)
I know he loves his friends anyways:)


29. Who has more siblings?
the same, I have two bro and a sis and he has two sis and a bro


30. Who wears the pants in the relationship?
ahahaha maybe me;) I am very authoritative but we try to take decisions together.
Yet I always want it to go my way and seb is undecided or never bothered so we're fine together ^-^
we do complete one another a lot!
I adore my sebastien <3


I don't think I'm not very competitive I think but well it's just a fun test :P

pieces of my life, heart, philosophies etc.

Ginger has been adopted this morning he will be fine and happy and loved :-)









I have so much to share but no time right now
so little for now, I hope to be able to write more tomorrow
Enjoy my vlog ;)

Blessed be & namasté***

***Magick and Freedom in the Writing world***

A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day.
Emily Dickinson

Writing is always personal in some way but not always in a direct way.
Suzanne Vega

If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it.
Anais Nin

1) Do you feel that immense Freedom in the writing world? can you write about anything?

I feel thanks to any kind of art I can push further and further the limits of Freedom, It's freeing, it's amazing,it's comforting,it's therapy it's getting to know oneself and the world better,it's wandering in inner places etc.

Yes I think I can write about anything, I think words are meant to be used, to be played with,to be turned upside down,to dance with, to be sung,murmured and so forth.

Writing is my weapon,words are my truest friends!



2)Do you feel safer in the writing world or are you at ease too with speaking?
what is the difference for you?

I guess I am safer because I am never at ease speaking especially in public,I have done a lot of things so contrary to my nature to be introvert.
But it depends sometimes I really love speaking, I just need to control my emotions and slow down.

3)Can you travel thanks to writing?

Yes and I enjoy that a lot since I can not travel in this real life due to being totally broke...I miss travelling but less and less thanks to my magical powers to travel in my painting as much as in my writing, I also travel thanks to penpalling writing to dearest friends far away , they give me pieces of their world, they bring Greece, The usa, England,Italy, Germany and so forth to me ^_


4)Do you re-create another world, or another self in the writing?is it an escape or a way to dream?to find some peace of mind?

if I write poetry I do re-create another world, I walk in fairytale realms, I want to scatter magick in the real world.
I love the magick of creating characters as if they came to me, they are real entity, I sometimes can feel them, I have all knowledge about their psychology and how they feel etc, it is the same for painting.

I don't know if I create another self in writing, I think My writings talks about me and my different personas but I am always real even if I feel the need to add magick here and there.

I have escaped a lot in the writing world, it's my haven, but really I don't believe in escapism now.
I believe in creation, expression and sharing the sparks, writing offers me great peace of mind because it helps me collect all the pieces of my mind through life,through others's feeling and so forth.


5) Can you write about your secrets to feel better when you need to share?( either in blogs or private diaries)

I guess I have always shared a lot of private and secret things at my blog and livejournals,I don't know if I am a private person.
I love sharing, I don't mind how people will perceive my words, I am glad if I get beautiful gentle echoes but if I get misunderstood I go my way, I am fine with writing any and everything I want.
sometimes I am even close to total careless cynism because I feel I don't give a damn if I am misinterprete, misread,unread or whatever, this is just life, I am good and fine the way it is .

I more and more write for myself, but I still love to share with others if it can do them any good, then it's the cherry on my cake ^_^

I sometimes keep too private secrets for my paper diary or to share with true friends in emails or letters.


6)Are there things you would never write?(in your diaries or in blog etc)

that could be paradoxical to say yes when I've just said I could write about anything, but I mean here that I would not write to hurt to spread negativity etc

Oh I have yelled a lot,talked about all my constestarory views, my strong opinions when I could not hold my tongue.
I sometimes think about writing a blog for this!

Kind of revolutionnary( kidding) no but well there are still lots of things that annoys me, frustrates me, angers me.
and it's not necessarily about the cheap things!

Lack of respect and wounding the Feminine get me very angry!

I would never write things I dont believe in things I dont think, mean things for free, all that waste of time you know.

7) have you ever done Ghost writing, it's like role playing with letters or emails?
would you be interested in this?

I have been asked to be ghost penpals in the past, I was a bit shocked, I love writing to meet a soul to find a real personality and to share interact, the idea of faking it and playing a role was just not my kind at all.
but then I remember having done this with a friend at school when I was 13/14,it was funny and creative.
we imagined we were older and had boyfriends, we imagined we lived somewhere else and had another name:)

I would be interested in this to some extent. but I think it could be very creative and inspiring.

8)Would you write about your fantasies or keep them in your mind, because it's too secret and private to share?

what's that question? ok it's me who asked this?huh? well it's surely another of my persona;)
well I guess I have already written about my fantasy in previous blogs.
I think it's private,but maybe anonymously it's easier.

9) would you feel safer to write a blog if you were anonymous?

I guess yes for some things I am never sure if it's good to share but if I want to write them it's because it will do me good, put my mind at ease.

but I also think that when you really love some persons you would like them to be able to read you completely real blogs and anonymous one.

and also I think that in the anonymous one you'd love to share your real self too, well it's all real in fact just that you categorize things, maybe you limit things as if it has to be limited. It is weird.

But Fairy and childish illustration can not work with your wild and darker side can it?
I do feel safer this way.
Oh and sometimes the freedom of writing makes you write nonsense, just for the sake of creativity and sharing pieces of subconscious, people would take it as a whole.
I don't know, it's strange because I do accept everything I am and I am not ashamed about anything I may have written even my melodramatic posts at my lilacdeaddoll livejournal in the time of depression.
I think we cannot judge someone from one side, we can not judge at all though but at least we can have an idea of a person after a long time of sharing and interacting.
the feeling, the intuition is good of course but it does not say all about what/who the person is.

it takes time to grow an old friend.



10)Do you believe that being anonymous increase the freedom of writing?or do you feel that then maybe you are not seen and heard in your complete real self?

yes it does but the real freedom is to write whatever we want to write, yes maybe you are not seen and heard in your complete self but who is really?
you can only hear ,read, and see your completely self alone.

No one will but you.
Others can grasp a lot of your essence but alas no one can really understand another person. as much as we can. as much as we identify or relate etc.

That is why communication is important and respect too, because it's easy to think we know others, it's easy to make assumptions and be so wrong, it's easy to limit things, to say if I were I would this or that.
we have to remember before speaking that what we see is nothing but ourselves so we have to take time, ask questions, be patient to have an healthy sharing with the ones we care about.



11) What is writing to you?
writing is diving in Imagination oceans, the depth of your innermost thoughts, it's celebrating life and art.
writing is freedom always more infinite freedom as utopic as it sounds:)
writing is art, passion,sharing, a blessing, writing is the voice of my soul the real me,writing is the way I have always lived, I have met many beautiful souls through this medium, I have met my dear Love sebastien thanks to penpalling.

I am a romantic,writing is deep life,a way to be heard in the truest feelings we have to offer and reveal.








and because she is too beautiful for words:



I adore this song and Sophie is so very emotional singing it she lives the song on stage , I want to cry anytime I sing it! it's so marvelous painfully divine!

thank you Sophie zelmani!

: Spiritual growth: Doors and windows

On wednesday I was the host for the getting to know you day,here was the questions I asked everyone & my answers to them:)
feel free to share your answers with me:)



1)which are the latest doors in your mind, your world, you had to close, to feel safe, to stop bearing grudges, to just learn to say goodbye and to move on?


I think the latest doors I have closed was the grudge one.
I have been so betrayed and hurt by soul sisters I loved so much.
some of them I really loved with passion to be honest.
the hurt is as big as the love you feel.

I had to heal. but in the meantime I grow weary of friendship, I could not trust and love again.
then with thinking and focusing on the beauty on what I had to give on what I really wanted, I finally mend the pieces in me.
I have forgived.
I have told myself it was not that bad to have trust, to have given to person who did not saw how important and rare it all was, nevermind...

I am very happy now I have closed these doors.
I am very glad I have decided to turn the page and begin new ones:)

I think it is true, it's always better after the hurt, you really can meet the souls you want to share with ^_^
I am lucky for it and I enjoy this feeling, this awareness:)

I have also closed the doors of guilt. well still trying to. it sometimes opens again against my will;)
I am trying to close this door that make me think this cannot work with this, you can't be this and that!
people won't love you if they know!
How can you be/behave this way?

I close these doors, I free my mind and move on. If there is only one life I want to live it deeply and not stop or block myself.
sometimes we judge ourselves, we think this is not right,we think too much of consequences, risks taken and if it will be worth it.
I want to think differently.
I just want to live,experience,share,and sip the beauty of being alive:)

and nevermind if I'll be judged and seen wrongly, and misinterpreted and reduced to things I can do sometimes, feel, say etc

we are more than what we do , we have many personas, we are always and never the same and this chameleons is pleasant, it breaks routine, it opens door for me, it is a part of inspiration,discovering always,pushing limits
never hurting myself neither anyone:)

I think we all do judge others and their attitudes or behaviours way too quickly just because they can be different.
this is not fair, however lame or pathetic you think they can appear look be, they are more than this!
I believe in what's under our mistakes.faults.flaws.breaks.and so forth:)




2) do you believe in Hellen keller's famous quote (that I love)
that when a door closes another one opens and how did it showed in your life? any stories to tell?think about it;)


well sometimes yes sometimes no, but it depends on my mood, when I'm grumpy and so sad I can't see things clear of course.

but I always try my best to wait and see, be patient
Because it's all in this, Patience's hands

I am someone who loves Hopes.
I think now what matters is not to dwell before the closed doors
it is to accept and go on our journey, there are several paths to choose & we're always fine,blessed and free when we carry our home inside our soul/heart.


4)Sometimes all doors are closed, but there are Window
the third eyes is the biggest window of our mind.
How do you escape this way? how do you heal travelling by that window?
what are the thoughts that appeases you when all doors are closed in your life on your path?


My third eyes helps me a lot to visualize things , to see things in a better view.
I have a lot of spiritual trips, without drugs rest assured mwahahhahahhahha ^___^
I am not such a Hippie ;)

I escape of course through meditation,yoga , art and writing.

I am a lucky person because I have this deep wide potential to create, to imagine!
I am very blessed and grateful to be able to hear the muses and receive messages from far far away realms;)

When I want to heal something in me, I visualyze my inner room, my haven, I find this place within where I can feel safe, and remember all the beauty , the reasons to live again and not give up.


4)Eyes are often seen as the windows of the souls? would you agree?
do you feel people's soul this way? is the gaze something important to you?
do you feel you're an open book when someone reads in your eyes?

I don't know. I love trusting my intuition:)
I love eyes
I think it's a beautiful body part. it's so mysterious, saying so much still hiding so much.
I think my love sebastien can read in my eyes, my mother too maybe my father too, but that's all.
Not that I feel myself being a mysterious woman, but I'm a bit cold and aloof in general with people in society so I'm not sure they can read much but sybilline enigmas;)
I also used to feel uninteresting,dumb and so forth because of being so distant,mute and the transparent girl in the corner of the room ah!




5) tell me about the door you need to close and open right now? think. look around. your goals. your regrets. your anger.memories.anything.make peace with yourself.

right now?
denial door.stress door.
off with that!

I am me, I am the way I am, take it or leave I won't change, and nevermind if I disapoint some people.

I have to close the door of stress because it wont help me with my goals, I have to stop doubting too to continue working on my business project!
it s such a lot of work!

I want to open some doors I won't name, yes me mysterious ^___^
and I also am impatient to open the door of my new art studio, my new apartment, my new life,my new realer work life!
Bring it on bring it on!!!!

My latest painting:" I don't know You"
24x32 cm on watercolor paper.







I got a lot of mails this week, was so happy because last week I was feeling very lonely!
Thank you so much to Violet, Maria,Chantal,Dawn and Valerie for their letters and packages and postcards:)
I love love love surprises ^______^

I have made an art trade with Valerie Sokol a very nice and open minded fairy artist:)
she was sweet enough to agree for a trade with me and I received one of her lovely fairy match box, something to take like a lucky charm,unique kind of work:)

so friends, go watch her work and support her art,say hello:) if you like it:)
it's also very pretty as a gift for a special friend who needs some fairy dust ;)

Valerie's shop at etsy
she also makes lovely cards:)

Create your own Bliss

1) What in your life is being built?
2) What inner vision do you carry?
3) What must you do in order to accomplish your true goals?


1) What in your life is being built?

I think first of all my artist's path is being build, each day I try to improve myself, I learn , I challenge myself, I paint or make collage and I try to find something new to add.
I need to keep growing as an artist and hopefully live from it but I keep my feet on the ground for now as I have still a lot to do!

Developping as an artist is entertwined with my growth as a writer and my inner life.
All these on my journey are helping each other, my writing can inspire my painting, my inner life can inspire my writing and so forth...maybe it's a circle of creation that never ends.

Then I am also building a sharing of Light with sisters, something Kindness & Empathy to Pay forward, but this is my only Idealistic hope of course ^_^

I have met all along my journey many wonderful souls who have touched my world and who made me want to share the beautiful positive energies or healing energies they kindly offered me sometimes not intentionally not knowing it!

I want not only to inspire but also to make my like minded sisters out there to believe in themselves, to love their soul, to acknowledge their beauty and accept their flaws and just live the life they want, make their own Blissful moments Happen because they can!
I am here to support my creative sisters to share that anything is possible and art is just expression nothing scary nothing to judge no rules no limitations just love and beauty ^_^


2) What inner vision do you carry?


I carry many inner vision, sometimes full of colors and lights and sometimes so dark ones, I am very severed and layered I'd say which is why one of my important aspect is this feeling of being parted and not knowing how to decided which path to choose sometimes because it often happens that I think two things totally opposed just not being sure & I dont enjoy much being that hesitant!

One of my inner vision is the Ocean of stars and blossoms for instance, one of the most peaceful place for me to meditate feel safe and forgive/forget...I resource myself there.

I also carry visions of things I have lived in previous life and I sometimes carry visions of future in my dreams mostly, these visions help me and inspire me or sometimes they make me feel stuck and think maybe for a reason.


3) What must you do in order to accomplish your true goals?

hum, right now I'm getting slow and feeling stuck because of all the uncertainties of our present situation.
I get worried, but most of the time I just follow my heart, I listen to my depths, my inner guides,my friends inspire me and make me go on trust myself & focuse on beauty and my goals!
I know I am walking the right path when I make other feel inspired, feel better,feel heard ,seen or understood
I work hard(that often makes me laugh because yes it's not painful but it is psychologically tiring sometimes ,the process of growing learning things and not being that good at once because we evolve..., I don't give in nor do I give up or at least not too long ;oP
(because yes I can hide that I doubt and can feel very bad about everything myself my art life and the way the world is...)


you can feel free to visit
http://virtualcircle.blogspot.com/ and answer these questions yourself!

Blessings***

French Doll Posse

yes the new tori amos album just inspired me to show you my French Doll Posse.

First and foremost there is Rain,she is linked to the archetype of Etain,irish goddess her names means " poetry or " shining one"she is a moon goddess.

Etain is a symbol of fertility,what I love in her is that she teaches us that wherever we are on Earth or in the depths of the underworld we too can be shining.

She is also linked to the Selene ,goddess of the moon too. She embodies the two extremes of the moon phase,waxing phase into fullness and waxing into darkness.she represents the fullness of life,incorporating all the phases of light and darkness in her shining.

then I I'd say she is close to Pele and Ishtar.
Pele for the vehement temper,the passion,she represents the violent aspects of life ,the fullness of life with nothing halfway,no in between.
she reminds us that even in the midst of fiery eruption there is creation and new life.
and in this Ishtar resonates because she is the creator goddess,her names means "giver of light"she represents the creative feminine,active and strong.

Rain's thoughts:

let's burn our masks or re-create our essence thanks to them in a maelstrom of sweet madness to give life to the unsaid...but stop hiding.
let's spit our dream and truth,pour the nectar of our soul,let us free to exist.
nothing is more painful to me that seeing beauty that is forgotten,denied,damaged,slashed...let's use our breaks,the things that makes us so human and imperfect to create, let's express our shadows instead of concailing our real feelings behind fake smiles that just can't lie that well...
Let's awake our own fire from the depths and be mistress and guardian of our own Spark.










+ old pics of Rain:






Then there is Adah(names of the two women in the Book of genesis, but the word adah can also be found in a hinduist mantra)


""Om Purnam adah, purnam idam, purnat purnam udacyate, purnasya purnamadaya, purnam evavashishyate. Om shanti shanti shanti"

it's also the name of the wife and sister of Cain in the drama by Byron.

Adah means Joy in Hebrew
Yet Adah is rather a soul that reveals the dark side of the moon, she is linked to Hecate & Persephone.
she is the fruit of pain that she refuses to express as a victim. she wants to use her anger in a creative way.

Persephone is the goddess of soul,for it's in the darkness of the underworld(unconcious)that soul is formed.Persephone represents the ability to rule over the aspects of ourselves that are terryfying in the extreme.

Adah is also made of Meduse archetype, she is the greek Gorgone,seen by the greek as an ugly and terryfying woman but the roots of her name comes from medecine and measure and derives from a greek word meaning " to protect to rule over"
Medusa is another moon goddess( like hecate she represents the dark side of the moon)
Medusa has become a symbol of fear ,for to look directly upon the divine is to face a reality that scares us.

Finally Adah is an echo of Hel the norse goddess of the underworld( that generated the word Hell)she is a mother goddess.
Her underworld is rather a place of renewal,rebirth than a place of punishment or misery.
Hel embodies the the divine mystery,a challenge to look behind the masks of appearances to see things the way they are.

Adah's thoughts:


Darkness is everywhere and can't be denied.I see suffering,I empathize. I sometimes feel masochistic looking or listening to others pain because it reaches me.
I pretend I'm angel of the dead, I'm the one who does not forget.
I think about my sisters who have been raped,slained or abused.
darkness gets deep thicker and I remember my strength, I know there is another kind of darkness, a beneficial and healthy one even if it's hard to believe right now for you.
let's not let ourselves be chocked by our fears,we've got to take the power back!
I keep my eyes open, I speak the truth even if it hurts, I know that there is Beauty behind the dark places as I know there is lots of darkness behind beauty.I trust my soul. I follow my heart.
sisters it's time to unite to see behind their masks and this theatrum mundis and target our same enemies.














+ old pics of Adah:





now let's introduce you to Louka Hannah,the delicate one,very stylish and your typical French doll ;)

louka hannah echoes to the archetype of Lady of the lake a mysterious celtic goddess who dwells in water, the source of all life. Lakes represent both the source of creative power and the land of the dead.
This goddess was a giver of life or death( renewal)she was a guide to the mysterious realms of emotion & renewal,a source of immense creativity.she can gives us the energy we need to rule our lives.

Louka hannah is also linked to Diana for the fact this latter one stands for the virgin, a self sufficient,free goddess of women,she is related to all phases of female existence,from infancy to menstruation through birth,nursing,menopause and death.
her personality is also made of pieces of Minerva was a goddess of wisdom and war, an affirmation that we can use our knowledge and wisdom in the pursuit of any goal we choose.

but on top of that Louka hannah finds pieces of her soul In the Roman goddess Venus.
Venus is the goddess of grace and love,she is called aphrodite in greek who personifies both physical and spiritual love.As you might know the story,venus arose naked from the sea,the source of all life(primordial creation)and a symbol of both collective unconscious and eternity.


Louka Hannah's thoughts:

For the sake of Beauty! for the sake of truth!
I want to sip again liquor of poetry can you lick it on my lips,I want to caress these delicacies on your skin map, teach me the words to set us free.
Sister of the two Mary(s) I love purity and passion, I give life I Create...
Freedom,empathy,beauty,truth and love I lull you to sleep with my springtime melodies.
why not getting intoxicated with Beauty?It's all made of it.
They say women are just adorning the world with their pretty smiles but I say that I want to adorn it with creation,with sharing of knowledge,offering wisdom not just enjoying my solitude of art.









old pics of Louka hannah








The fourth doll is Everdeene,a real baby woman doll.
She is part of Bastet or Bast, the egyptian goddess with a cat head.
she is sometimes represented smiling,loving as a protectrice of humanity,musician goddess of joy and birthing.
she is also known for her big tantrums. this way she is represented now with a lioness face and identifies with the ruthless war goddess sekmet.

the charming cat headed goddess is a woman and children protector,she has the magical power to stimulate love and the flesh energy.

Bastet is a two side character,with great opposites,sweet and cruel she is as attractive as dangerous.
she is also the symbol of feminity,home protector and the goddess of maternity.

Everdeene is also pieces of the archetypes of Artemis and thetis.
Artemis for the symbol of feminine independence.she is a goddess that heals and appeases.
as for thetis, she is often portrayed as a nereid( sea nymph).she is a shape shifter and a goddess who enjoys life's pleasures.

Everdeene's thoughts:

profusion of sugar & overdose of sugar.Ageless soul I feed myself with sweet madness.
The same bores me.
I flee.
I get away from you if you cannot re-invente a spiritual realm, I run away if you don't know spontaneity.these tiny swirls of fairy laughters,the delicious & ambigous tastes of the loves that inspire me & make me sighs scents of whimsical romantic stories.
rub me on the right side I am your gentle feline friend,judge me,reduce me and you'll see that the cute and sweet pussy has turned into a wild cat.







old photos de Everdeene:





and these could show her sekmet aspect:






and finally Helenina of course.
she is made of Inanna the sumerian mother goddess.powerful,self sufficient,passionate & many sided,she is the fertility godddess.Inanna is a representation of the many facets that go into being feminine as well as a guide into the dark places of
psychological and spiritual death and disintegration.

then she finds herself in the goddess like Demeter and mortal woman Psyche.

Demeter for the mother goddess aspect. Demeter offers a blessing of fruitfulness and possibility,of coming joy,of abundant life and of hope.
Demeter is remembered primarily for her great love for her daughter persephone.
Psyche for the fact she represents the growth of an innocent woman to a mature goddess,she reminds us that the process of life takes us into dark place as well as light,just as the butterfly emerges from the dark chrysalis into the light.

Helenina's thoughts:

Evolution...we don't create for everything has already existed in another way.
I am a mother of word, a mother of paintings, I co exist and co-create with the muses with my soul sisters in a world made of art.
Fairy and marvelous is a path of my life.
I have to be the sharer, the witch of light,the teacher to the sparkly alleys and to show the power of positive energies.
Emotions are welcome, this is but a cycle of life and death,we'll always and never be the same.












anciennes photos de Helenina:






Edit: knowledge about mythologies found at wikipedia ( for I dont know it all by heart I am always discovering more and more) and thanks to my goddess knowledge cards by susan boulet)

well girls, wanna share with me your own posse?
tell me which one is closer to your own personality?who is your favourite etc?
I'll be eager and excited to see your own doll posse if you want to share:)

Blessed be!

you owe me nothing in return

it all begun by a kind of abstract painting I ruined and so out of anger I tear the canvas and thought hum this resists me, ok, I won't give in!

and so with the ruined canvas I decided to make an assemblage:)

wish I time to write more & share thoughts...anyways I'm sending smiles***