jeudi 27 septembre 2007

Living in Giving

Je me donne

so that the theme of my life and of this picture.
feel tired now.
but always more to give.

I have so many things to write about, so many thoughts to share and feel big frustrations not to find the time to write, and I need to paint.
I think I haven't painted in two days.
way too much, maybe three?Oh my!

Did I mentionned I had my very first model shooting?
It was so nice ^_^
I couldn't have found better for this first time.
The girl, a little fairy, so cute and adorable.

I like spirits like these!

La Belle au bois dormant (version4)

Les fleurs en moi


thinking of you 2

Tous ces oiseaux dans ma tête 1.0

more to come
Her name is Stéphanie and she was motivated to be a model for the first time. she was funny a little shy at first and then taking initiative, giving, sharing ideas, being creative.
I was very glad, impressed and so happy.
Because it ended up being a real collaboration,both giving of ourselves and being in the creation.
so I owe her these nice pictures and more to come :)

ok better go to sleep now.
Tomorrow have to go to the post office to send love to three lovely girls I have promised something,sorry for delays, I'm not so forgetful just busy with too many things right now, but when I say something I do it, even with delays ^_^

Hope everyone is fine, I am thinking of you even if we don't contact much, sometimes I feel I just can't write to everyone but I can't either close the doors of my heart.

Many blessings & namasté!

vendredi 21 septembre 2007

Tree of Life, Who are you?

Praise and blame,
gain and loss,
pleasure and sorrow,
come and go like the wind.
To be happy,
rest like a giant tree
in the midst of them all.
~ Buddha

this is what we've been asked at virtual circle by Mich:

Reflect on your life objectively,
review it as if you are looking into someone else's world.
See yourself clearly .... who are you?

Oh I feel a little uncomfortable to have to talk about me this way because it always sound so self centered or you know like saying wow I am amazing ahah ^_^

so I will to not sound cheap or cheesy and to be very honest.

let's go...

I am an artist who really strive or thrive( never sure of the word) but I mean I really work my path,the me I am didn't appear all at once.
I had many falls.
I was loved and hated.
I have been welcomed and rejected.

all in all I am quite proud of the me I am now. with sincerely no fucking pretense at all. I don't mean I have reached my goals or achieved it all.
No of course not I feel I always have achieved almost nothing, I can be very harsh on me, it's not so bad, it keeps me working, and wanting to improve.

It's good to think and be aware you still will have a new thing to learn and a way to grow and get closer to the real person you are.

I do fear very much that people think I am so self centered, pretentious and fake.
It's useless and silly I know.

But sometimes I do assert my soul and my strenght and I am aware of being a real and strong woman, and I am bold,taking risk and daring, and sharing all of me almost ;)

But I am still vulnerable and a mere human( fae child ^_^)

I am a soul who needs to live in the Path of Offering and Giving.

I am still human and wont ever deny I love to be loved,praised, appreciated and complimented for who I really am (only;oP flowery things make me feel weird)

So yes I love receiving but never offer just in that goal but I can not imagine a life complete if I can not share my luck, my glow, my love and my sweetness for life with the world.(especially those who needs this)

so I am an artist who may never be really Famous ahah, who may never really make big money with selling art, I am able to imagine all possibles because I work and hope for the best *_* eheh

I may be nothing at all, just a drop in the ocean, just a shooting stars amongst many others in the immensity of the sky but I will go on pouring my lighs and fairy dust ^_^
Nothing will stop me( hopefully ^_^)

I don't think I am that beautiful so I love when people thinks it looking at my pictures.
I can take pictures who really do show my flaws but it just makes me be aware of what really matters in the end.

I less and less do pictures to reassure myself about my physical appearance.
I take pictures to make art, express a feeling, create something else totally different , give it another dimension sometimes I am super glad of the result

Salvation and ruin( version 1.2)

salvation and ruin (version 1.3)

The Ocean is Nothing

La nuit c'est toi

I am every women really or I can be.
It may sound so silly proud to say so but I do think and see also several women in my friends, we all have different personas and this way we are less bored and boring ^_^

I am someone who wants to do good down here and who will do it!
et toc!
I'd like to write more but already late to take the car and drive to my parents :)
nice weekend everyone.

Just another thing, at Humana Maelstrom I put a second interview:
Cordelia Sweetness, when the little mermaid turns into a fairy...

thank you for reading and maybe putting the link of my zine if you enjoy it to promote it a bit as a RAK ;) to share these beautiful souls and promote their talents around the world ^_^

I am this too:)
an artist supporter and a beautiful souls believer!
I believe anyone can shine and find their own talent if they take the time for it.

just wanted to share this song because I really love Muse, I saw Matthew Bellamy once and shyly say hello and took his picture( might show this one day ;) and had his autographe...Muse was one of my first concert and the most wonderful one, in the playfulness and freedom it gave me to find pleasure and really enjoy myself, in spite of the crowd , the sweating everywhere of me and others in the concert, the cigarette scent and all.
I jumped and dance and it was Magical, I was about 21 I guess, It was a wonderful memory, I could let go and stop caring about everything I was just fading in the music, becoming one with the crowd I used to loathe for some reasons( crowd makes me generally agressive because of agoraphobia etc ;oP some social anxiety I dont have it as much now ;oP ok a tiny little )

mardi 18 septembre 2007

mood swings, poems and the realness of being

You can read here the first interview for Humana Maelstrom zine:

Daniel colvin interviewed by me
Feel free to live comments if you enjoyed this interview :) or have any questions ^_

I have another interview completed and in mind so many other artists to interview:)

The Fae

Here is a wonderful artwork he made as an artful collaboration with me.
How lucky I am!
merci! merci! merci beaucoup!

The Faery Nymphs of Innamoramento(Talenah)

The Faery Nymphs of Innamoramento(Viola)

so Here are two other Faery Nymphs.
I really like Talenah but a little less for Viola.
and forgetful me I forget to put her wings, I did it today so I'll share the finished work at today for sure.

Feeling very tired tonight.

They will hate you for your beauty and your Bliss

I did this rather as a sarcastic work it's called "they will hate for your beauty and your bliss"
I never understand that but yes people prefer to hate others envying them instead of finding their own voice/path.

so part of me do believe in this, that people will hate you if you succeed, in a way.
But I also believe strongly that some people will still love you and see you for who you are :-)

She looks very pure and delicate, I love that.
short hair is not something I usually done but she asked me to be like this :-)

à Table!!!!!

I am still going on feeding the kitties


they are so cute!
they make me smile :)
Mon Chat m'aime pas!

I'm also taking care of my Takun ^_______^ or rather bothering him with hugs too tight ahahah
poor kitty!

Sisters! why do they have to hide?

I'm going on with improving my photography art.
That picture above is called Sisters! why do they have to hide?

just a feminist wink to claim the power back.
tell me who I am I'm sure it'll make me smile

This is another picture that I really love,I feel it's powerful and a bit crazy strange!
I titled it " Tell me who I am , I'm sure it'll make me smile"
for many reasons, one of them is that most of the time people think things about me and who I am that I am not and it always makes me gently smile.

I enjoy sometimes blurring the trails and not being able to be deciphered, which quite paradoxale with my love for understanding and being real.

Maybe I just love to be where I am not expected!to surprise people who think they know me ;oP
It's my little pleasure!


More pictures at my flickr.

I have received an inquiry to do a workshop for my mixed media work in November, I am very interested and I will soon know more about that.

I am very busy but procrastinating a bit lately with business and it makes me feel a little bad, my only Big excuse is that we still haven't found a new apartment/house and seb has still not a job :(

so our life is still full of uncertainties.
It's weird.
Sometimes I even have this strange feeling in me that maybe I will have to find a daily job (not here as I have tried in Cambrai and even in shops they did not want me) but around Lille when we move.
Sometimes the business and art is something that makes me feel tired and wonder if I'll be a good business woman.

some other times I'm very ambitious and feel I can go very far.
I'm everything or nothing as usual :-)

so anyways a daily job would not be that bad for me!
I mean if I can find one I'll handle it though it's been a while now I haven't been in this society( laughing)

that makes me think of this poem in my head.

mild schizophrenia swirls

Is this real
I wake up with dreamy thoughts how to reach the Ocean
I breathe in painting and the day can begin
A stairway of words that lick my heart
I can climb higher now
I can handle anything
Am I really living in the real
I taste each second feel the sand of time
Gliding gently on my skin, through my fingers
Fleeting beauties
I connect with souls we message feelings
Is this real
I cherish and sip my solitude tea everyday
I fear I have nothing to give
I'm different yet my soul is pouring always more
To them
To you
To humanity
I celebrate each day the magick of the unseen
I'm dressed with layers of warmth and blossoms
I rinse my soul to waters of Hopes everyday
Even when melancholly is dragging my feet
What is real
All this freedom choke me with guilt if I dare think
Condemned for too much Bliss
I can twirls and dance with zephyrs
The breeze giggles with me
Everything is true
But you can not feel
Who can really comprehend this chaotic soul garden
Is this Freedom but an illusion
Time races in my heart
My head is fuzzy with memories
It's like it's so difficult to seize the day
Like everything so quickly fade away
From the morning star to the sunset
I don't want to die I dont want to die
So I jump each time higher on the clouds
I cling to what shines
I love as strong as I can
I cuddle idealisations and the blissful moments I can catch
Like butterflies that soars too high
But the mind reads not this
I always can feel this severed
My face is like a comedia dell'arte mask
I tango with this enchanting strange dichotomy
I know I'm not that sparkling
I'm no champagne
I'm no well of wisdom
I'm just a lonely river who loves
A shy flower who maybe tries to compete under the sun
She just wants her very own place in the Garden
When you give me time each of you
You make me that unique for you
But how can I thank you


Who cares about Pedestal? maybe she does

She runs
All the silence around
It's freezing cold
she can not stand it
She is fallen
She is ghost light
No one sees her no one knows her
She runs
she wants to shed those rags of her dress
Where " nothingness" is written
barefoot she aches her feet
she feels she is fading
like a whithering star flower
No more glow
They tread on her crown
they crushed all her grace
Nothing nothing nothing
The icy tears are all so real
Porcelain cracks
Strawberry juice of deep sorrow
She just wanted echoes & higher understanding
To be loved for her just as is
She crossed a desert
She crossed the place of Absence and void
her feet have walked on this thin line
Above the ravine
It's past
Pain is dead gone
"but you see I'm not dead"
Her smiles is covered with dew
Freshness of a new birth
Springtime in the Heart
Awareness of what is worth
She has run back to her life
She has built back her thrown
She may Princess of Nothing
but she has climb the pedestal back
"oh you can make me fall again"
She giggles witty sprite of another reality
She is not afraid anymore
Her wings are strongly attached
She had to sew them back
You can make her bleed again
You can ignore her
you can judge and loathe her
She is ready for anything
No Godliness
Her realms stands for Satin flowers
She is still barefoot
Still naked to the core
She just loves herself and she wants to live...

(sorry for the English mistakes, mispellings and such)

dimanche 16 septembre 2007

Emotion sickness Addict with no Heroine


If I should die this very moment
I wouldnt fear
For Ive never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
Still in my heart this moment
Or it might burst
Could we stay right here
Until the end of time until the earth stops turning
Wanna love you until the seas run dry
Ive found the one Ive waited for

All this time Ive loved you
And never known your face
All this time Ive missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
Wanna stay right here
Until the end of time
til the earth stops turning
Gonna love you until the seas run dry
Ive found the one Ive waited for

The one Ive waited for

All Ive known
All Ive done
All Ive felt was leading to this
All Ive known
All Ive done
All Ive felt was leading to this
Wanna stay right here
til the end of time till the earth stops turning
Im gonna love you till the seas run dry
Ive found the one Ive waited for
The one Ive waited for
The one Ive waited for

Wanna stay right here
til the end of time till the earth stops turning
Im gonna love you till the seas run dry
Ive found the one Ive waited for
The one Ive waited for
The one Ive waited for

I feel so emo tonight(laughing) I love saying that to my French head it always sound cute and funny when I read this in those teen livejournals :-)

there's no age to feel emotional anyways.
I'm fae child at heart...

I have so many things to write

I have finally been published online here:

le jardin du mixed media in French :-)sorry guys!
thanks again Françoise!

I received lots of sweet comments there, touched me greatly.

I dont know what to do with all these emotions,this sweetness...

here at devifemme livejournal I got sweet praise which really made my day!


thanks again Justine!

I received so much in september, I want to cry, to pour it all out there, to make grow many flowers of new Bliss, for others, for you, for my friends,for everyone in need...

so many things are confusing me sometimes
ok and it's so late for me( past midnigth) so I can't think clear.

I'm sometimes totally falling and swirling in the strange strangeness of this life.
How everything is a wink.
How everything is so deeply entertwined.
How we can resonate with souls.
How we can still love so strong as if it has never ended in spite of the lack of contact and the knowing it could not work at all for real and knowing it has ended some years before.
How to cling to memories even if they are already faded.
everything is so full of sweet melancholly.

I am so happy sometimes so it's weird and funny to let enter some melancholly here and there.

Little heart on my tongue

Life is funny, full of tricks

In fact what I am trying to express here is that it is true and real.
We can feel both at the very same time.
The bliss and the melancholly.

we maybe can touch divine if for a moment we can melt our soul in between, to find a utopic balance.

I dont believe in in between sometimes.
Maybe my passionate side.

Many blessings sisters and brothers, this life is wonderful when we find the secrets of it.

jeudi 13 septembre 2007

Thank You Goddess!Thank You God! Thank you Life!

I am published for an artist profile :

Thank you so much to Cyndi Lavin at layers upon for her kindness!

I'm always so glad when I found new people who can enjoy my work.
The comments and encouragements I received at flickr and my websites are blessings and a real fuel to my work!
I thank you all so much!

Maybe some people can think she's boring with all her cheap gratitude, but really I have to thank somebody out there for all the glowing beauty I feel inside.
I am at peace within my heart/art.

Souviens- toi!

Make me laugh

Born Again In You

Pick out your cloud my Love


So this is my new collection: The Faery nymphs of Innamoramento
here her name is Myra bellah.
She is losing her mind in Impossible Love.

Everyone must have lived this once.
There are so many kind of Impossible Love.
And today I met a girl(in real, so something to say because it's rare in Helenina's life to go out and meet a friend but it was very funny but I got too many informations to really know how to feel about this potential friendship so life will tell) that might become a friend of mine with time.
so this girl, Lou has lived an Impossible Love story.
These things are so intense.
they devour you, you feel so high like on drug and you could almost quit it all for the love, for the sake of the fire, for flowers of Insanity!
the sweet madness, passion is deep sometimes too deep to sound real maybe.

this is what is written on the painting:
"Impossible c'est ce que l'Esprit me dit
Impossible Impossible Mon amour l'écrit avec ses soupirs mêlés à mes larmes
L'écho repond 'cible' et mon coeur est touché par les flêches de ses mots sucrés
Je l'aime.
Impossible mon petit chaos Impossible de glisser mes fleurs sur ta peau. Je t'aime"

this means , because I am a nice girl;)
"Impossible Impossible that's what the Mind tells me
Impossible Impossible my Love writes it with his/her sighs mixed with my tears
The Echo replies ' aim'{here I can not translate the play on word because its a ryhme and the word doesn t sound the same in English, sorry}and my heart is touched by the arrows of his/her sugary words. I love him/her.
Impossible my little chaos, Impossible to glide my flower on your skin. I love thee"

Ok I did play on the ambiguity here in translation because it's not said if it's a she or a he love in the French text, we cannot guess.

I might maybe one day,write the short novels of each girl Innamoramento.
For those who don't know Innamoramento is the blooming, birthing Love...the magick of beginnings.
Some passionate souls would say the Best of Love stories, but honestly with time and maturity we saw all the drawbacks in these beginnings ahah.
Like for instance the stress, the wanting to look sort of perfect, hiding our flaws and humanity, no finger in the nose,not being goofy, but being lots of clumsy because of passion and shyness etc.
I do love the fact Love is build secure and evolving, like the two people are evolving together.
That's why I am fine with sebastien and happier than ever.

But I do love the dream,romance and poetry of innamoramentos and sometimes maybe we all dream to live it all again and again, maybe without the drawbacks ahah.

so these sweet crazy in love and romantic nymphs will surely all have pink hair, hot or not, old pink would be nice too, we'll see.
Pink is a color I love very much ^_^
especially hot flashy pink :-)
I have got slippers like that at home, I call them my Paris Hilton slippers( laughing)
I am not any fan of her at all...(no comment)
But I can be kitchissim girlie girl sometimes :D
don't imply me have no brain ;)

so well and I thought that would be new and original and pink is Love :)

I hope everyone is fine:)
I am quite busy searching a house/ apartmenent, working on art, improving my photos, my Photoshop too
I am playing a lot.
Yes I do take nude art pictures.
It would take way too long to tell you why nude?
But I want nudity to be useful in a way, to have a meaning.
I think Feminine nudity is inspiring and poetic and no I'm not a lesbian, but I have written that many times!

I guess it's a prolongation to talk about the Poetry of the Feminine.
I would have much more to say but for now I just want to thank this life for all the good things happening to me this year 2007 :)
I want to thank the Soul of the Universe, my friends too for who they are, for their kind understanding and their big tolerance acceptance!
I love that!

I want to thank also all the people I dont know but who love me and helped me in a way. I send many blessings in your lives!

I want to thank the people who respect me because it is something that amazes me and really comfort me.(especially for my naked photos)
thank you for this!thank you for still noticing my soul, my realness ,my emotions and the Real woman I am in this. Behind this.

I am much more than just a sexy/sensual woman, but I think every woman should feel sexy sometimes:)
we all kind of like that.We are women.and that should not make us less Feminist!
Sometimes it's a little strange and painful to lose contact with this Root Chakrah because of Depression for instance.

I don't believe Sex is the most important in life.
to me the sex is art , writing, painting, poetry, music,singing but to feel complete, to feel balanced, sex is needed to some extent.
I know parts of me can also imagine a life of soul because I am always more a soul than a body.
But it makes life I guess a lot more fun ^_^

vendredi 7 septembre 2007

Solanum dulcamara

Solanum dulcamara

Honey blessings and sour places
When I cannot reach you
Embrace of souls so tight so mild
and the cutting ivy around my bleeding hands
They can plunge into your heart my friend
but they come back to my lips with cruel emptiness
I would like to catch a blue butterfly kiss or two
but they all fade into the full moon
my soul collapses in this warm yearning
Pure energy of undecipherable true attachement
it's immense my heart
it's like the ocean and more
In the morning the island is deserted
The silence swallow me whole
If only just for a moment there could be a light
we could meet in a hood of reveries
we could hold hands like sisters like brothers
my dearest one my core is bleeding tears of joy for us
honeyed gratitude and Solanum dulcamara flowers to your feet
May your paths be blessed always & for aeon.


La vie est belle mes ami(es)!
but there are days we really taste the sweet and sore pleasures of life's blessings.
It is magical and I'll never ever be gratefulness enough I fear sometimes.

But if you had read the beginning of this blog or my older livejournal you would know how I have endured dereliction.
How I have yearned for soulmates,kindred spirits, true faery elvish friends, people who can understand and tiptoe in my world with no flowers unscathed.
souls who would respect it all about my spiritual garden. who would not mind the weeds.
Yesterday I felt oh so blessed that it ached and I wanted to cry a lot.

There are days like these I don't need anything.really.nothing at all.
sometimes I feel I could fight my way to Mordor and back with all the love I have in my heart.
as tiny cheap and naive as it sounds, I know it IS the real strength.

to be able to love, to give, to pour one soul, to be completely honest, to be daring, to take risks, to nevermind the possibilities of hurt of rejections of losing...
I came towards Dear Misty's tangering sentiments
and I felt how it echoed mine.
She and I are often in synchronicity, experiencing the beauty of this life and being so emotional, living this existence so fully, with so much passion.

I think souls who love with passion ache with the same intensity.
So sometimes a lot of persons beg for love, beg for attention and want to find their spiritual twins out there in the world, the kin minds with whom it's easy to speak even with silence and sighs.
My only tiny advice would be just love, pour your heart out there.

It is definetly true, (however how bad I'll hurt tomorrow if it's meant to)it's in the pouring, it's in the giving.
Just pour your soul to this life and make things happen.
Make what your heart is craving for happen.

Nevermind the gossips, nevermind what people could be suspicious about, or don't understand.
People who know and feel True Friendship know how miraculous it is.

It's like sometimes we feel really alone on this planet, if you are an artist a sensitive soul, you do feel this aloneness at times, the absence, the lacunae, but there are echoes, glimpse of magic into your life.
This is treasure.
Maybe I don't live and feel like people do , busy with their life and not taking TIME to stop give and love and build tight silver & gold sparkling bonds.

OH I do know the time friendship/love demands, I do know we all have a life to lead and we can't spread ourselves so thin to the world.
But yes in my own way I often still want to try.

sometimes I do believe in genderlessness and agelessness because this is real too.
I have had lots of distance with male.
I also was kind of verging sexism sometimes because in my life the Masculine have been really disapointing to me!
I had also prejudices about men in general which is quite funny!
Sometimes this life is so weird!
but we do open up our eyes and tolerance and acceptance with time and encounter.

I am different again yet always the same.

Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends. -- Cindy Lew

"Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure."
-- Jewish saying

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies. -- Aristotle

"The only way to have a friend is to be one."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"A faithful friend is the medicine of life."

-- Apocrypha

Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief.-- Swedish proverb

Plant a seed of friendship; reap a bouquet of happiness. -- Lois L. Kaufman

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.-- Anonymous

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

Yes friends, we do sometimes forget how rare how precious Friendship is.
It is another kind of Love
another kind of Bliss.

So I made new and am making new friends lately.
Some I know and feel it'll be for a lifetime, some it's just way too recent to mention.
But I strangely met a girl who lives nearby, can you believe this?
It is oh so weird to me.

well life is pretty loving to me lately and I want to give the centerfold of what it gives me to, I have to, I want to make others and my beloved ones happy.

Serial Lover

so this is her :)
I would probably name her Adah( it means Joy in Hebrew), I thought the title was funny ^__^
ok she has a make up problem but she doesn't care much, she just lives for the sake of Love & they call her serial lover for her passionate soul but it's always Pure in her Heart...
she's definitely not a soul collector/eater whatever the gossips, she is sincere in her heart's echoes and generously giving because this is how she wants to live this life.
I said it all #131

A Very Big "Peace" Of My Heart for You

I wanted to share this song by alanis " you owe me nothing in return"

"You Owe Me Nothing In Return"

I'll give you countless amounts of outright acceptance if you want it
I will give you encouragement to choose the path that you want if you need it
You can speak of anger and doubts your fears and freak outs and I'll hold it
You can share your so-called shame filled accounts of times in your life and I won't judge it
(and there are no strings attached to it)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

You can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and I'll grant it
You can ask for freedom as well or time to travel and you'll have it
You can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and I'll support it
You can ask for anything you want anything at all and I'll understand it
(and there are no strings attached to it)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

I bet you're wondering when the next payback shoe will eventually drop
I bet you're wondering when my conditional police will force you to cough up
I bet wonder how far you have now danced you way back into debt
This is the only kind of love as I understand it that there really is

You can express your deepest of truths even if it means I'll lose you and I'll hear it
You can fall into the abyss on your way to your bliss I'll empathize with
You can say that you have to skip town to chase your passion I'll hear it
You can even hit rock bottom have a mid-life crisis and I'll hold it
(and there are no strings attached)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it's my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

(I think I could not have written it better but I am quite sure in the Past I have written something inspired by this ,should find my old poem and re-edite them ^_^)

I dedicate this song above( cant find it at youtube) to my beloved ones but especially at that present for both of you and I believe you know who you are.


oh and because I adore this song lately I wanted to share it with you, well the lyrics are not philosophical, but it's a black eyed peas cover by Alanis as a sort of funny joke I guess, but she can sing anything and make art of it.

I am back in touch with my poetry muses, they made me want to write as they bleed songs and sonic landscapes in my mind.

I sometimes write in French so things get lost in translation so I can not translate.
My dear Love and I are going away( we're each weeks on the roads and I am the driver grrrr) so I'll be back on saturday afternoon probably( business and administrative things to do again + apartment search in Lille)

oh and I will soon introduce a bit more into the world of flora delerium and digital alchemy of the artist and dear friend of mine Dan Colvin:

as he will be my first interview for Humana Maelstrom zine, which will be my new online zine with articles and interviews and maybe more if I have time for it, but there I will interview artists of any kind that touches me and inspire me a lot

I am almost sure you all can find some pieces of inspiration for your own creativity in his poetry for the eyes.

Many blessings and namasté!

mercredi 5 septembre 2007

My heart melts

Fell in love this morning

How can anybody resist such a furry ball of Love and sweetness?

I gave in. all its so kawaiiiiii meewwwing got the best of me.
this poor creature is a stray cat, and he seems very young maybe 2 or 3 months but no more.
It's adorable!
so we chatted a little. I melted and decided to do something.
nevermind the risks of attachement.
Last time I had taken care of a stray kitty it was in such a very bad state,it was like the inside of my soul.
All broken,numb,hurt hurt hurt...and that stray kitty showed me the way back to Empathy,humanity and feelings:)
but I couldn't help crying like a baby when we sort of "abandonned" it at the vet who would care to put it in a place where he might be adopted.
I hope that this creature is still alive and so happy now.

This new kitty has a bro or sis that is a ginger ball :o) so cute;)
really if I had to adopt one I truly could not choose at all!
they are beautiful.
I don't know how people can't see the sweetness in our feline friends.
it's unique.

But let's face reality, I can not adopt it ,we already have enough worries with our Takun ^_^ahah
so I have put an ad and I'm trying to find people who want a loving cat :o)

Now because I can not choose which one to share here we go for some Buddhist wisdom:

Our mind is like an onion, and each day and month of practice progressively peels away the layers of delusion.

-Geshe Ngawang Dhargyey, "Advice From a Spiritual Friend"

That was weird but inspiring!

Happiness and suffering come from your own mind, not from outside. Your own mind is the cause of happiness; your own mind is the cause of suffering. To obtain happiness and pacify suffering, you have to work within your own mind.

-Lama Zopa Rinpoche, "The Door To Satisfaction"

this one is great,does echo in me a lot! we choose our own happiness by allowing it to enter our mind, by creating it, by making it happen, by daring, by opening doors, by challenges and risks and so forth.

Right meditation is not escapism; it is not meant to provide hiding-places for temporary oblivion. Realistic meditation has the purpose of training the mind to face, to understand and to conquer this very world in which we live.

-Nyanaponika Thera, "Power of Minfulness"

I do agree a lot!
I am here to face & I accept all that I see.I am defenitly responsible for my heart/soul and my life.

Some people live closely guarded lives, fearful of encountering someone or something that might shatter their insecure spiritual foundation. This attitude, however, is not the fault of religion but of their own limited understanding. True Dharma leads in exactly the opposite direction. It enables one to integrate all the many diverse experiences of life into a meaningful and coherent whole, thereby banishing fear and insecurity completely.

-Lama Thubten Yeshe, "Wisdom Energy"
I love that last one, the fact we'd better always stay open, tolerant,welcoming life's emotions, life's encounter... we learn through this. we love, grow, radiate through this...

OK boring me who can never stop, this is one is the last:

Arouse your will, supreme and great,
Practice love, give joy and protection;
Let your giving be like space,
Without discrimination or limitation.

Do good things, not for your own sake
But for all the beings in the universe;
Save and make free everyone you encounter,
Help them attain the wisdom of the way.


and it's a blessings for souls. Maybe it's possible, maybe we all can shed our lights, maybe we all can talk & understand without being judgemental or harsh, maybe we can love, maybe anything's possible

Namasté sisters & brothers!

mardi 4 septembre 2007

Ego versus soul realness

La vie est belle :-) bah oui toujours!! ^_^

Undecipherable Soulful Big Sighs

I feel very light, very inspired, very ready for anything in my life to come to happen.
I know things with my business are not yet ready because many things have changed and now I want to focuse on art rather than the first idea of giving mixed media class.

I would love to be a coach Muse and help other awake their very own spark of creative imagination.
But all the plans I have made for my business were too much and scattered, now things are clearer, though there is always the irony of setbacks of this life.
so still searching for an apartment and seb still searching for a job.

It's not easy but we really handle everything pretty well ^___^
Surely because things are very fine between sebastien and I , we have lots of fun/laughters.
we also enjoy our own time alone in our creative worlds.

In the Forests of Hearts

Exquisite Poetry

I am a hot pink hearts addict ^___^
I am so in love with this life, with creations, with making beauty feel so alive, make it exist make it real.

cheap quick digital scrapbooking
this mon amoureux and I ^____^very fun cheap digital scrapbooking, really done for the fun

I love how we look so fine blessed and in bloom.

Things have not always been that way and well it's funny to know next year we'll celebrate our 7 years!
I would never have thought this would be possible for me.
I remember my past,my life at my parents and the big solitude the lack of love and understanding
the craving for hugs and just to be loved.

I can remember the taste of those tears and how lost in space and time it feels not to share one's heart world with another special someone.

so it aches me a little now for a friend who's craving for Love.
She seems to be such a nice creative and interesting person.

Why things don't happen sometimes?
why Aphrodites and Eros don't do their jobs right?
sometimes they are so tricky and mischievous!!

well I'm just hoping with all my heart that strong positive energies filled with flowers can make her find her way.

Perhaps also even if it's never comforting at all it is very good and healthy to love oneself alone, to take care of oneself, make one's own happiness and also rejoice with friends.

Friendships is a gem.Friendship is divine.
souls embraces.creative

ok well not everything is fine, Got a mean migraine last night, it's so annoying that now the migraine comes in the evening and don't leave my head till the morning.
I got anxiety and had to wake up in the night to take my gelsemium.
It was hard to sleep.
But after it I always think well it has been worse!
so I am fine :-)

No more migraines pleaaaaase!

Mon petit coeur

I still have lots of fun with Photoshop ^_^
I really want to show this to my father because he would love this software so much!! all the things we can do with it!!

Des fleurs de nous

Disintegration Watching us wither Black winged roses that safely changed their color

No one can fuck up your spirit #128

OH Yes I forgot this here , you don't all see my flickr so here it is:

Helene Deroubaix Published in Somerset studio Yay!

I m published in Somerset studio, big thanks to Jenny Doh and Staci dumoski for making this possible!!
^____^ I was all excited and happy to receive my issue of it.
I can't wait to show it to my parents and other family members!

so I have three pages of my art there and it's just amazing!

Съешь маленьких демонов, которые бегут в моем омраченном сердце...e por favor ame-me

Ego Crisis

Ego crisis.
this artwork is about so many things I'd like to write about right now.

We all have ego crisis.
It's sometimes considered as shame and misinterpreted etc.
Ego creates misunderstandings and some imbalance.

I had a very fast time of Big praise.
too much is too much.
Yes of course there are times like these:)

the dark muse in me is all excited, enough is never enough for her;)
we all love compliments( even parts of us can not really accept them or believe them, stay away with distance but still take them and rejoice)
but there can happen ego intoxications.

I am still an extreme person but more and more balanced with those extremes.
so I got the feeling I was maybe too much.
Me, myself and I.

All the kind words and compliments about the things we can do, we are are always pleasand and some days it's easy not to keep feet on the ground.
and I was like " is this real?"
who am I in this?

These feelings/sensations are funny.
You take distance, you analyze and what remains.
It's like star system.

You get praised and adored, everyone loves what you do the second after you are bullshit or nothing at all.

I know I am nothing. I always have to remind this to my crazy self sometimes.
keep your feet on the ground girl!

But it's so beautiful to receive so much love, and I am blessed and so very grateful.
I then wonder, am I giving enough to you( the world/humanity/life/friends/family...)

I always want to give more and I do sincerely wonder, do they sense my blessings? my positive energies, am I any good for them with the light and sparkles I spread...

I hope so.
I want to do something good.

Well I guess also that what goes around comes around.
and I do good things too. I try to do anonymous and free things.
You know like Free hugs.

I do believe in this.
It's the sugar of life to be so human.
I know it made sound cheap or naive but that is really how I want to live.

and no I am not a saint and I do have my very selfish and egocentric ways.
I do need A LOT of Love too.

But after this ego crisis, I got like a intoxication of me.
you know the taking pictures, it's great,it's funny and very interesting to me.
But I so wish I had models to take pictures!
I'd love to focuse on someone else.

But in my heart I do focuse on my beloved ones a lot, my dear love and my dearest precious friends.

I am eager to make my little assessment about this year 2007.
I can say it was beautiful and so good.
I met the best soul friends/like minded companions ever.
I do hope to take them with me along my journey for ever and ever.
you know who you are and you do know/feel I do care a lot.

I also still love all my other friends, even if I don't write emails all the time, dont reply to letters real fast or have stopped writing etc
I really think of you(s)
I am just busy mind and scatter brain a lot!

(dearest Jen I must have ADD too sometimes, I am all clumsy and forgetful and head in the clouds and hard to concentrate on everything ^___^)

Now I don't remember what I was talking about?

so yes let's focus ego versus realness

I think we can be praised a lot by many persons at a time but in the end what does matter the more, it s our beloved ones.
Their comments words kindness is always a blessings and warmth to my heart.

In You #129

I Loved You (so much)#130

Notre secret(not yet finished)

and there you see my latest artworks.

I am inspired again for my art squared series.
I had stopped for a time, a bit bored but right I feel it's beautiful sweet and amusing meta communication with souls and the unseen.

My last painting : Notre secret ,could be read differently( it s not totally finished and you can see the process of drawing at my flickr)

the first reading could be the secret of Love longevity.
the fact that some couples lasts and are so fine together.
there is no recipe.
It's just communication( I echo you Jen here) and understanding.

I don't know if I am secret or showing too much of my private life sometimes.
But I m quite sure I don't share it as I did in the Past at my

during tough time the poor sebastien would eat all my cruel wrath mwahahhaahhaha

but now I rarely am angry at him.
:) and I used to write too much of everything about things, with time we don't feel the need to share this much.
Of course when we make true friends we love to share about our beloved ones,because we are made of them.
we are who we loved.
Truly deeply.
we become them. a part of them in fact.
there is lots of mimetism, synchronicity and understanding without speaking.

I love when I once talked about this with my sister and she told me how it was this way with her love, that they think the same at the same time:)
I think it's also the thing ,the connection that make a couple not die but keep on blossoming.

so this painting could be about this in a way.
But the text on her dress is sharing her other secret.
Her secret with the bird above her head.

Maybe it could also be the secret to life ^_^

well I prefer to let everyone read and interprete their own way, I am quite glad about it though her hair is a mess( so this way she looks a lot like me ahah ;o)

voilà, I am now sending millions of shooting stars in the skies, make wishes my friends, lots of positive energies your way whether you need it or not ^_^