jeudi 21 février 2008

The third Eye Chakra: the depths of my awareness

video about the Third Eye Chakra

Your vision will become clear only
when you look into your heart.
Who looks outside, dreams.
Who looks inside, awakens.
Carl Jung

you can find here:Virtual circle by Mich
about the sixth chakra and learn more about yourself studying this chakra.

"To enter this chakra is to discover a world of indescribable beauty. It is to seek the light of consciousness and learn how to focus that light in order to see clearly. This is the homeland of intuition, dreams and visions."

That is so true!

I was reading an interview by Pj Harvey lately, and was so in connection to what she said, how the dream life was as valid and important as our waking life.

"Pitchfork: Are you a big dreamer?

Harvey: Oh yeah, yeah, it's a whole different world every night.

Pitchfork: I've been reading a little bit about the Senoi in Malaysia, and their use of lucid dreaming as a kind of psychotherapy. I'm not sure I buy it, exactly, but I do think that dreaming-- as a creative process, or as a creative state-- is undervalued by westerners.

Harvey: Oh, I'm fascinated by what you said, by those people. Because I see very little difference between wakefulness and sleephood. Each world seems equally valid; what's real and what isn't, I don't think it really matters. I feel that my dreamscapes are part of my everyday life, and sometimes I can't tell the difference. That's interesting what you said, they use lucid dreaming?

Pitchfork: As a way of self-actualizing, or as a way of dealing with their waking lives.

Harvey: I think it's very powerful. The power of thought and imagination is beyond what we can comprehend. "

found here:pj interview

I can not more agree with what she says.
so true, how we are blessed and so very lucky to enter this power of imagination and thoughts
sometimes it can of course carry us away too far, too violently too passionately too quickly
but there is always great learning,great awareness is manifested through these mental images.
we are

I do feel my dreamscapes are part of my everyday life, they are inspiring me, they push my creativity they also tells me things about reality,healing or making me see clearer, what to do, where to go, what to think
I have also some small premonitory dreams
I also dream about people when they feel bad, I know

"The sixth chakra is about seeing in the deepest sense. What does it mean to really see? "

I have always thought that seeing was not enough, you have to perceive,to pierce through, to sense,to feel to understand, to listen even to the silences

I have always thought that we could not stay on the surface
I think that's why I grow to be a loner, most people felt it was normal and enough.

I smiled and laughed inside when people thought I was strange or not like other people, always thought it was a compliment, but I would not see myself as so strange because to speak of Soul, of what is the essential to be real, to try and go further always , to get to know others deeper instead of how old/young they are and where they live and their color of skin hair weight size etc

all these things are not the most important.

It's like when I used to chat with people
you know the silliness of asl age sex location
thats so strange, that does not say anything about the real Me

there is more than one woman of 28 in Cambrai,even more than one Helene here and on Earth
and many of them have my age too:P

what makes us who we are but our Soul,the depths of our essence, the mix of everything good or bad whatever, our beauties and uglinesses, our lights and darkness, our good and bad days, the things we love, the people we care about

We are who and what we Love
so if I love you I am you in a way, to some extent
and you are me to some extent too

I have been wondering about fusion.
What we women often search in passion, the idea of being one with the lover.
I know it comes from the in utero existence, this comfort, this understanding, this being one with love with the core with life with the giver of life

and in reality, how could it work?
like that song by Tori amos
pick out your cloud

"Do you think
just like that
You can divide
You as yours
Me as mine
to before we were

when we love, we become "us", which is one thing, a sort of fusion
but I think it's still healthy to be One with oneself, body and soul and to be able to construct,have a true inner garden, a place for the self to rest to keep mysteries and secrets, to breathe inner peace being alone and not alone for with oneself one's soul.

This is vital and this is the KEY to feel alive and to feel strong, to feel independence though we all need love and want to share and interact with others, we all love feedbacks because it makes grow and improve and see ourselves in a different light.

but to love oneself independently of others, of how much we are loved or not, how many friends we have or don't, how much money we make or not how many talents we have or dont etc....

We have to find out this path inside.
I have forgotten that for a long time.
I still dwell in the rock garden or want to drown myself at times, getting angry at me and my attitude etc
but we can also be angry and tell to ourselves what's wrong, we can just communicate and listen to ourselves better.

when I think of my loved ones, I always want that for them
I want them to Love themselves as much as I do to see themselves like I see them, to watch themselves through my eyes sometimes.

It's not bad to love oneself and acknowledge one's quality, it s not bad to acknowledge we deserve to be loved,seen heard and listened for who we are.

36/366days project: the colors of my mind...

Many people often told me how narcissistic it was to take self portraits, and they only said so because they dont love themselves, they can not allow themselves to take care of them, to adorn their beauty and share it offer it as art, as creativity as knowledge too, because it s not just superficial
there is meaning behind self portraits

destroying, reconstructing, showing the self but also being creative and exploring other lands.

Art does not talk about the person always.
It s a part, a prolongation of it
but we also go further than the self, we shed our self through this.
we want to reach out others, signs, awareness,knowledge etc
but we want to provoke thinking,to imagine, to dream, to find other possibilities

I have to define myself, I'd say I am a simple woman living for art,love,freedom, beauty and truth, I am a fae child of the revolution, I am a realistic dreamer that's always true, I want to help others always as much as I can, I am not very available because my life right now is messy, emotional earthquakes, etc and questionning things and feelings and life BUT I am always there for any of my friends who would feel like talking.

I look away, careless,busy etc, but I am a badly organized procrastinator and I still answer most emails I receive even if I take sooo long sometimes.

I care.
I love.

and I am here.
Well I just write this for the ones who think I totally have forgotten about them because I dont comment or read their life and dont email as much.

Sebastien has found a job near Paris, so now He's a graphist web designer and chief of project:) ahah

he s proud and happy about it and of course I am happy for him and proud of him.
It s big success after his studies failures.
It's very cheering for him for it shows him how his work is worthy in spite of the fact he doesn t have the diplomas he has great skills and they wanted to hire him.
So his skills plus his personality made him succeed and get the job the closest to his dreams I guess.

so yes I'm quite glad because that's all he deserves.
He's good at what he does, he can do many things and I have always trusted in him.

What about me?
yes life near Paris, moving further from my parents, etc,leaving my North , my roots, I dont know

It's strange, like not real
like it wont happen but right now I wish I was there already to feel to experience and see if I can be fine there, if I can find what I want there and be sort of Happy or the closest to my dream life.

(click on the image to read more about Doors)

let s go back to that sixth chakra:
"As you enter this chakra, look deeply within. Take time to detach from your suroundings and look at them objectively. Focus your attention. Validate your intuitions. Follow your dreams."

"Keywords: Clear Vision, Genius, Imagination, Dreams, Quiet, Inner Peace


* I see the light and it guides my way.
* I listen, I hear, I speak the truth.

Interpreting excess or deficiency in the sixth chakra

Excessive characteristics:

* Hallucinations
* Delusions
* Obsessions
* Nightmares
* Intrusive memories
* Difficulty concentrating
* Excessive fantasising

so Yes I do see the light and I can follow the guidance of guardian angels, and the fairy friends of my life, the signs on my path, the echoes, the unseen, the unsaid the unwritten, I sense and see things.
I am developping my awareness even more since that big paroxystic vertigo and the fact I bought moldavite.

It really changed so much suddenly in my life, so strange but true really.
Everything happened all of a sudden.

I am following this good and lightful energy.
I believe and want to trust in this life.

things happen for a reason.

I think sometimes my third eyes is overactive which is why I have nightmares, I have to balance my emotions, my high sensitivity.
It s a work really but I think I see clarity in spite of my twisters and swirls.

I see peaceful lakes in spite of my tidal waves.
I am hopeful.

I smile a lot.
I have awful mood swings though:P

I also have some obsessions, compulsions in thinking thinking and expressing, and understanding like a need to comprehend it all
I sometimes feel it's awful how our brain this such amazing organ is still so limited.
we wont understand it all, but us crazy human we still search for answers.
it ll make us evolve for sure and do our best.

oh I also have difficulty to concentrate at times.
I sense everything every messages at once, I cant see what to do first what to listen first
sometimes I get truly confused.

Whatever I will always speak the truth and be HONEST with me with God/Goddess with what I share of me with what I give to others
I have to be honest and real,it's too ugly to lie deny hide it's a real freedom to be real
to free our mind as much as far as can be
I enjoy that

I am blessed for that capacity to express so much not feeling ashamed
I think I don't do this just for me, I do this for others.
It can open doors and possibilities in their lives too and only this makes me feel good:)

"Deficient characteristics:

* Lack of imagination
* Difficulty visualising
* Insensitivity
* Excessive skepticism
* Denial (can't see what's going on)
* Inability to see alternatives

Blanced characteristics

* Strong intuition
* Penetrating insight
* Creative imagination
* Good memory
* Good dream recall
* Ability to visualise
* Has a guiding vision for life

I have a big imagination so there s no worries this way:) Thank Goddess!!
who would I be without Imagination????
oh my!
Life would be a cruel jail!

as for denial, well let's be honest, who hasn t ever lived in Denial is a liar
sometimes we comfort ourselves, we put masks we say it's gonna be fine
we dont think bad we just try to do the best we can to protect our own balance, there is nothing wrong or bad in this!
sometimes we feel it s just easier this way.

It's sad because of course there exist so many many people who lives their whole life in denial, the ones who feel ashamed to be who they are so to comform they live a unwanted life that wont make them unhappy but wont fulfil all their desires and wishes

Some deny things out of guilt, for instance they dont divorce for children
they dont do this not to hurt others
they conform and kind of lock a part of who they are.

I believe in compromises
I believe in doing good to the ones we care
BUT should it be at our own expense?

I am not judging just asking this simple question.

What do we want from this life?
God time is running out
I already have some many white hair,first wrinkes, God
what can make me feel complete for real, truly?
what is that I want to be able to do all the things I want and have to do down here?

To be able to serve others, do what I have to do, I have to be finally balanced.
finally stable
with less mood swings:P
less turmoils
more clarity
more certainties

Oh God I love that word
Certainties, sounds so lovely in English, it s " certitudes" in French less pretty to my ears.

I always joke about certainties and it does make me laugh :D
I surely already have written it here, but one of my biggest certainties is the fact I 'm aware of death, I know I will die one day, the later the better
and possibly in my bed quietly after a beautiful fulfilled magical creative, giving life, after having done as much as I could and left something to make the ones that stay behind me pay it forward and on and on

nothing to do with pride etc
posthumous praises, publishing and all that dirty crap aaaaaaaaaah I hate you I hate you I hate you!
If there is one thing on Earth I reject this is it:
to fucking dare LOVE me when I am dead

I want to be LOVED here and NOw
when I am alive.

I want to be seen heard found interesting here and now
I want to be questionned now
I don't give a fuck about tomorrow

Or I want to stop caring about tomorrows
I mean hey! wake up tomorrow you can die, it s so far away after all

you can make a LIFE in just a day even a FEW seconds
it s a life of its own
Pure essence

I am not kidding a second

I do sense and see things how sometimes they look like a matter of life and death
Because it s serious for me to take the best now, to love,to create, to make things not only for me

In fact since depression I haven't had much of certainties
I don't know
I got detached from my dreams in many ways
I just took life as it comes
I handled it thanks to art friendship beauty etc.

Now I'm having my pre-30 crisis, hey dont worry I'll just turn 29(oh my oh my!!!! dont write this here cruel self!!!! how can you do this to me!!!!aaaaah)
but yes it's evolving, it's telling me a lot.
I am more at peace than when I was 15 ahah that s for sure
I have more strength than ever.
I have more hopes too and I truly have digest positive thinking it belongs in me now.

I can be moody quite dark, there s so much knowledge and beauties in darkness why should it be denied rejected or left on the edge?
each emotions is a teaching.

30/366: I am no angel, just working with the Light...

the body talk, the spirit expresses.

The sixth chakra self-evaluation

1. Can you see what is really going on in your life or do you try to keep certain things buried?

ahah love that question, yes I have tried my best to keep things burried for thousands reasons...

I have a big fear I hate to write it down, but yes I fear sometimes of going back to the worste of me and feeling so unable to LIVE because unable to feel "happy"

I am deeply scared of that...
hate to write and admit it because who can understand this?

I am so grateful for all the things I have in me, in my life, I am glad to be me most of the time(except when the personas fights inside my brain ahahahha, but it s funny too :-)
I know my luck
I am feeling so very alive and blessed at times
but blissful moments and things dont last

I am trying to study this how can beauty last in a world of decay in a world of everything is ephemeral?

I am lucky to see the SOUL and to make it feel alive, this is what can always blossom.
this is what can always learn, grow, gain more power,energy,awareness,lights

I know I have to balance my sensitivity and also to find a comfortable beautiful fullfilling and pleasant place in between Utopia and Reality.

there must be a way.
I want to be able to really know what we search is not without but within.
I would like to be able to finally think and feel I have enough,I receive enough so I can just concentrate the rest of my life on Giving it all back

Yes that s my goal in life to be giver of Light
to work with light and of course I could handle a reality of daily life, daily job because even if I need to work for money for food:P I wont be turned into what I do, I wont ever be my JOB

I am much more than this.

and it s truly not out of Pride that I haven t worked in society since september 2003
(oh my so many years!!!)
It's first because of the real unemployment in my country and with my diplomas they made me do silly trainings, I felt like regression,but I am humble I learnt through these experiences
I dont think much of me because I have diplomas
I believe the intelligence is not to be measure with diplomas

Yay KNowledge is Power!!
and when you swallow lots and lots of Knowledge of the soul ,of the heart then you can use this power for the best, out of selfishness
I still want that.

I am very severed between my humanity( selfishness,egocentrism wanting my own Bliss of course) and my self neglecting self:D sounds weird ahahahahah
I breathe better and more when I forget my own self
it s the only truth

this is how I feel.
when I give freely.
I feel higher life through my veins and I am nothing and I'm everything and I don't give a damn...

oh and I get bored when people say how sweet I am etc for this, or talk about my generosity, I am not waiting for this anymore
it s lovely to be seen, thank you so much dear souls

but what I want is perhaps for you to see you are this too, we all have "power" on others, on this life,on this world, to make tiny changes, but to do good

oh holy crap of the idealistic self hhahhahahahhaha I'm devoted to my own religion: Empathy, love...yes! spreading love

dream on sister

(laughing at/with myself)

no sincerely stop telling me I'm good or generous I am selfish and have my dark sides too. I am human.
very far from perfect, perfection is an illusion and boredom anyways!


Le saut...

La fin...
I did these two pictures that I love for and thinking of my dear Brother François , because I dont know I was worried for him, dreamt of him and my mom told me he wasn t feeling so well.

I did those pictures, wrote these poems, and that day he phoned me, I think it was the very first time he phoned to speak to me, to share, to listen to open to me

That was a big blessing!
How can we deny that we are linked in the soul to our beloved ones, that we can communicate with telephathy in a way and also feel synchro, linked to them, feel their feelings, deeply truly

I love my brother so much.
I want the best for him
I have always wanted that.
so I was very touched that day that he dared phone me because he wanted to talk.

I think it was a first step and it makes me think that perhaps I'll finally get closer to him, like my idea of sister and brother
talking, trusting,confiding, being real,no hiding, no faking it, just communication, expressing, taking the time to love and share, we are family, it s important.
we have lived so much, it means a lot

It s not only a blood thing,I care about him a lot, I love many things about him, I believe in his qualities.

2. Do you have a personal vision for your life?

Yes I do;)
question answered!:P

no really I just want to be happy and spread this around me
I sometimes see myself going with the flow
because it s easier
I believe life takes me where I have to be,to go, to learn...

I want a life full of love, with less boredom as possible
I want to be entertain, I want my spirit to be stimulate, I want to keep growing and learning, I want to be listened and touched
I want to be wanted and to be accepted for who I am
loved for who I am
I want my loved ones to share their thoughts worlds feelings with me, I want them to want to KNOW me, to be interested in my soul and what I live and love and how I feel
I want them to be concerned if I'm sad and to try and support me etc etc
Because that is all that I want to give to them.

I want communication.understanding.intimacy.closeness of the soul.and Passion.
I want to feel desire and to be desired.

I am such a demanding woman ahahahahah
I also would like babies someday:)
I would like to be a good mother, to be there for them, to take care of them and give them all they need to be balanced and happy being alive and being them.

3. Are you aware of what archetypal influences may be guiding or limiting your life?

yes of course I'm trying to take the best out of this to always do what I want, follow my heart.
I dont want to limit my life out of fears.
I see I have lived with fears for too long.
I cant stand this anymore.
I know my fear of life and death is the silliest thing ever.
I have to make the best, take the best do the best that I can.

4. Are you aware of your dreams and the symbolic messages they may hold for you?

yes indeed. I think there is a lot to learn in our dreams.
I have had a recurrent dream and now I am thinking of the meaning behind it.
It was telling me something important
it often confused me and now I am thinking I wanted perhaps to deny and be deaf to what my dreams were telling me
I can be a hypocrite a liar to myself, only.
but then lying to oneself ends up lying to others...

5. Do you trust your intuition?
yes I do but sometimes it's still good to keep some distance, not to go blindly
it's not always easy
I have learnt so much about trust and the reward in giving trust, to love truly and be loved in return:)

Her Heavy Love Machine

They can say what they want
That she likes to play under the flames
That she licks the clouds when they are so profound
That she doesn't mind scorching risks
They can kiss her mouth to write "unconsciousness" with their lips
They can write "" you lost your mind" with their tongues on her belly
She knows another enigma
The winged riddle that make you close your eyes
For you've always known the sensuality of feathers
Plume of silent words so drenched with unsaid caressing her neck
Writing love in her veins
Excruciating rack
Stop her now
Restrain her flow
Shackle her heavy Love Machine
rake them in rake them in
all these whirling waves in the core of your womb
Time stands still in their silence
Words becomes steam
Gliding drops all along her skin

l'âme humide

Garlands of words gliding on my lips
I lick all the ones made of indecency
When I sigh in your ear I write wet poems in your mind
I kiss with each letters each part of your soul map
Carrying the flames with softness and adoration
can't burn you not this time
will you write all night long the end of this poem
on my lips on my tongue to make glow all the gems

everything says " I love you"

Everything was talking about this
The trees swaying in the secret echoes
Remembering the sound of your voice & your sighs
Each branches was whispering something so soft
She could almost see your name written in their twisted knots
The wind was scattering delicate thoughts
Like cotton kisses or the feeling of your smile
And higher higher higher in the sky
The birds were dancing half drunk of the beauty of this
On her path she could pick leaves of Freedom and flowers of Truth
She could close her eyes and still see Everything

Behind the muddy hearts

There the trees whispers
Sometimes they weep a little too
Some broken branches & too many roots
Sometimes all they want is to fade in the puddles
Not worrying about the mud
Some of the leaves in their fall cry
"Have you ever seen such beautiful puddle of mud?"

Oh tu peux pas savoir, je veux que tu sois bien...

I died to myself
every particle of my body exploded into the sky
so ecstatic
so drunk
yet I still stay in this dungeon
with all its faults & foolishness

O beauty
no one in this world is as pure and clean as you
no one is more elegant & charming
there will always be compromises and arguements
on the way of love
but as long as you're my friend
that's enough for me

I can't explain the secrets
even to those who can hear them
they're inside me like gut feelings
but I just can't put my finger on " this is it"

(extract of the rubais of Rumi "Insane with Love")

OH I adore that book, I bought it for xmas and truly it's divine, inspiring,so romantic and full of passion.
Reminds me who I am and how I love to feel.

A nos zephyrs d'espoir

My siamese twin
Thought I was over the bridge now
Faceless sisters of boredom
(studying clones or my twin fascination:)))

(more to come for sure)

46/366 days project: The Gift
want to read more? click on the image:)

i didnt know you

and me as a child:) eheh haven t changed that much?;)

family portrait

old family portrait, I went to memory lanes:) I always do before my bday:))
don't forget you have to hug me lots and comfort me on the 11th of march:P

I will have a big mad tea party ONLINE perhaps with my beautiful souls society:))))

and my most recent and fav self portraits:

Choke that pining

SavHeures/ SavHour

Darling Thisle & Her Crying Books

I adore that one,it's not common beauty, I don't think I am beautiful, I rather look weird, but the photoshop around give it depths, a fairytale mystical dimention and it gives life to poetic flows:

In the Garden she felt rejected
Too naked too giving
Oh Darling Thisle many wanted a piece of her skin
But rare was the ones who took the time to read the pages
Her books were crying
smearing ink & the words were crawling on their knees
Pining for higher understanding
Aching for deeper kissing
But who can decipher the unphathomable
who can grab the deepest essence of the unsaid
Tired-looking pages
Some sighs needed a magic dictionnary
A key to open the doors to another kind of language
Oh Little Miss Thisle some pages were black as coal
She would lay her wan cheek to cry ebony secrets
No one would see the trails of snowflakes in her darkness
Those breathless moments
In her coma white sky of opacity of Heart
crows were singing trying to cheer her up
She was mumbling " kiss the words kiss the words kiss...

Nina, The Somber Poem

Oh go by the river now
Drown me by the river now
That 's where you found me
Nina nina nina is my real name
I don't believe in enigma with wings
I want to burn everything with my arsonist pain
The doors of my solitude are always wide open
And I'd rather remain alone you know
Some musical fishes infiltrate through my veins
Don't close your eyes now and just quietly watch me fall
I've cut my wings and put them in a little bag just for thee
All the cords to my soul have drawn me to the Lethe
How sweet is the oblivion filling my lungs
Who knows how many times I have truly breathed(...)

(I love that vintage self portrait, I look so weird, like very emotional sensitive but very gloomy strange, the girl who wanted to have it all but don't we all want it all?

I also look super childish on it, I think I got inspired by two women at flickr,both younger than I!
there s so much inspiration to find on
such a great site to meet like minded sisters and brothers.

some music that inspires me lately, I need to go out today to buy it but I truly feel very reluctant to go out...silly social anxiety is a little back lately, alone most of the days and nights is no good for my health, need to talk, feel lonely,end up talking to myself:) playing with myself, talking to my cats too ahahha
well it s a challenge!

I adore how she says she freed herself and remained alone.
so deep,powerful
like tragedy
she rocks really
how she screams siiiiiiiileeeeeence, is so HEALING to me
true musicotherapy
it goes through my veins, clears it all, washes darkness away, reminds me beauty, guides towards the light

I adore silence.
I loathe it too when it's heavy and painfully lonely.
But he's my best friend, I know I need silence!
to reconnect,to feel concentrated on what I do, to read,to dig inspiration,to paint.

Polly Jean Harvey is a goddess, she writes deep songs, we can relate,find memories, feel understood,comforted
her last album is full of violence and melancholly but there is something some cleaning tears to shed in this creative opus.
I love the emotions expressed and shared through music,I deeply admire singers who are also musician and song writer, they are complete artist to me.

I always feel uncomplete as an artist and that s surely why I always want to learn new things and try to be as good as possible at what I do.
I keep learning and evolving as myself and as an artist.

I also have so many paintings to show, I show here my fav:

La ferme mon Amour!/Shut up Love!(close up detail)

Parallel Reality where our spirits merge

"All things around me are restored in Beauty..."

Secret Kisses For The Hopeless Romantics

alchemy( the mystic language of butterflies )

Oh Bleeding Magdalena who loved mending the Hearts(close up)

Les "moi"

Never Say Goodbye to Fairytales(close up detail)

La Mort dans L'âme

We're all never alone...

Half dead Half alive
Oh How Precious

I was not glad with the result of the blue ones,but I have decided to be imperfectionnist that s also why I'm versionist I show it all, even my failures,my breaks,my uncompleteness:)
I am not ashamed

sever savor savior
Pain me paint me painter paint her
what colors can you touch?
marmelade & liquorice
ugly chorus
No one can sing while painting her in me

you can always follow daily my work at my flickr:
flickr mademoiselle helenina

and I will finish with a smile, this was a long blog, but overdued too:-) hey I know you were missing me mwhahahhaah( I dont mind if I am not missed:P)
I was wondering why to go on blogging? I dont find the time and energy for it
how is it useful?
what does it bring to me?

It s good for my soul to write it all down, to think and write thanks to the chakra study that Mich kindly shares with us!
something important to me, to analyze and think and answer questions.
I know it helps me to see clearer and to grow and in the process I hope I can help others and make you feel clearer about who you are what you want in this life what you all have to offer to this life because hey you all are unique and beautiful!
notice and celebrate this!
your qualities, the best in you!
surround yourself with friends who can take the time to see your soul who can always remember the best in you( even if you are soooo full of flaws and imperfections like me,no kidding, I'm trying to improve myself, but hey allow me to be just human, stupid at times,weak at times etc)

We still can smile & breathe some faery hopes
Because nothing is locked up in wood yet
Because I am not eaten by the worms yet
Free spirit I twirl in the light bathe my soul in early springtime flower rivers
There are darker worlds out there
Reality has some of the most evil faces
We have a healthy heart we can run to the hill and down
And up again
the sky is the limit
Who can say what's right or wrong
who can put fetters to our wings
who can truly understand the mystery of these smiles
Who can grab the lightness of being so alive
who can tell me who I truly am
I have never belong to anything anyone down there
Listen to Emily "dwell in possibility"
We are such nobodys
Wandering souls, mere stardust on the road to some so called Hell or Heaven
Sometimes our mind screens play stories of fireworks
Lonely beaches and eternal bliss by the river
Almost Everything has been said, but nothing is written
We all can erase and rewind
we can all find ways to catch the tiniest gleam in the shadows
we can aphazardly come across that page in the saddest book
The one that make it so worth reading on
Life is a strange thing
I just don't want to die
I just would love my loved ones to live for ever too
I dream of EtherNity
no screw to turn
but sure doors to open

Be Blessed everyone! always remember the best of you, of your loved ones, of this life and share and spread it!
thank you so much for the super courageous or damn bored friends who have been able to read my every word/worlds here:)
you're adorable!

dimanche 3 février 2008

the Throat chakra and the depths of my Honest Inner Voice

It's been a while.
If I could I'd blog everyday:-)
but I do that in a way at my a way because sometimes I talk about my thoughts and sometimes they are stories or projections of my friends'thoughts and feelings:-)

I received two You Make My Day Awardthank you so much Marie and Michelle:-)
you're great, inspiring, kind and giving faery women and I'm honoured to get these awards from such ladies! :-)

I'll be honest both ways I could give the award to everyone,each of my dearest friends, and to none, because right now I hardly read everyone's life, trying, but I cannot be everywhere.
Not self centered at all, still giving a lot but different flickr for instance, such a wonderful community:)

Sometimes I wonder, well when will it end?
will I get bored of flickr one day?

how many pictures it can store?
I mean in 10 years how will it be?

It's strange, funny, like you know another kind of social closeness and interaction.

Bitter people say it's internet it's not real, but I behave with those people the same ways as if I'd meet them in real life, just that perhaps I'd be more of an introvert, because I am not that chatty and rather ill at ease when I don't know the person.

so I wanted to do the chakras exercices,not sure I'll have time for each of them, will see:-)
but I'm always inspired by :
Mich's virtual circle

Chakra Attributes

Color: Blue

Function: Communication, Creativity, Connection

Healing Essence of the Chakra: Located in the throat and neck region of the body and extending upward to include the lower region of the brain or cortex, this area holds the communication center. Through the Throat Chakra one may speak long-held truths of past hurts and, in the process, find much inner peace and a sense of personal freedom. With a healed and healthy fifth chakra, one’s words are kind, clear and truthful.

Keywords: Truth, Self-Expression, Song, Poetry, Clarity, Communication


* I am the messenger.
* I speak my truth with clarity and courage.

Interpreting excess or deficiency in the fifth chaka

Excessive Characteristics

* Talking too much or inappropriately
* Gossiping(I do gossip at times but it's rarer nowadays:-)
* Stuttering(well it happens when I'm so shy and nervous around strangers or people I care about or perhaps feel sort of stupid or inferior, speaking is not easy for me)
* Difficulty being silent(No I love it!except around people I know and love I can be super fuzzy chatterbox :-)
* Excessive loudness(it happens)
* Inability to contain (keep confidences, etc)(well it depends...

Deficient characteristics

* Difficulty putting things in words(not when writing them except if it hurt way too much things like death for instance)
* Fear of speaking
* Speaking with a small, weak voice, it does happen a lot to me because it's my nature, I am an introvert, I don't want to change this, I am living it better each year, doesn t mean I'm scared of others.
* Secretiveness, I am
* Excessive shyness, well depends on my mood:P
* Tone deafness

Balanced characteristics

* Reasonant, full voice
* Clear communication with others
* Good communication with self
* Good listener
* Good sense of timing and rhythm
* Lives life creatively

The fifth chakra self evaluation

1. Are you comfortable with your own voice? Have you ever listened to its reasonace?

I often begin my sentences like that but it's true,it depends;)
Sometimes yes I will perceive my voice, hear myself, almost if I was out of myself,I can hear the rhythme and reasonance of it.
I can think I like it when I speak laugh or sing, either on my own or with loved ones etc.
but sometimes for instance at my youtube videos I hardly stand the sound of my voice.
I love the voices of feelings, when you speak to loved ones, when you care, try to hear and reassure, there I am fine with my voice and its softness.

2. Do you allow other people to have their say and be heard?

of course I do!
I used to be more stubborn though ahah, that makes me laugh because yes I would get mad and not let people speak, not that lalalallalaa with fingers in ears but almost ahah
Really now I love to hear people talk to me about them or everything they like or are with a deep honesty, no holding back, no faking it, just being real, I admire and love that.
I dont mind not agreeing on everything, I love discussing, I don't need my friends and loved ones to be on the same page always.
Sometimes when I am in a chatty mood I cut people when they speak that's something hate, I feel uncomfortable then, I would hate that the person think I just want to speak and not enjoy the back and forth
I am more interested in the listening anyways, the speaking is my offering.

3. In what ways do you express yourself creatively?

big sighs, Poetry my beloved ones, the wife of my dreams ^____^
poetry is my big sister, my dearest friend, she holds me anytime I need, oh words, my best friends...couldn t live without writing
I think I have always dreamt to be a writer from the age of 8.
I began penpalling at 7 and writing short stories at about 8 and of course a diary!
oh my!

diaries have always been so very important to me.
I have a lot of them in a big cardstock parcel
pages of my life,sweet or funny memories
I often want to open it, like a therapy ,seeing why I am here and now the person I am.

I keep them.
Sometimes when I'll have a daughter, I can reread the ten years old me and understand her more ahah:)
might be cute:)

so yes I write, I also sing, I take pictures ,self portraits but not only!!
and of course I paint and create collages:)
I am truly lucky to be such an expressive person, it's weird in a way
I have a big need to express but most of my expressions are silent, because I do live INSIDE.
It's a real mise en abime, inside, inside inside...

that's perhaps no matter how much I share, say,give, show about myself and how far I confide to the world and to my dearest friends I am still a bit mysterious.
well not that I need or mind being mysterious, it always makes me laugh when people say so, because I don't think so, I am so familiar and just another small town girl:-)

4. Do you feel that people hear you?

I feel heard with the time and attention my friends/loved ones give to me.
I am heard when I see people understand, are touched or inspired by me.
I am heard when I see people emulate my work( I dont mean anything bad or hierarchic here at all) I am deeply honoured and touched to see that!
It is a big gift they do to me to sort of bring a following to what I do, that it goes on, like we're branches of the same trees of art kindness, creativity,soulfulness etc

It is beautiful!

I feel heard when people don't judge, comment here at my blog,send me kind emails,comments at my flickr.
I feel heard when I see I can make a change, influence another to be more positive, hopeful, etc, the sharing of emotions.

God that is my blessings, to be able to make other FEEL too.
I m truly blessed for that.

5. Do you communicate your feelings open and honestly?

yes I do.
always. too much according to some I'm quite sure ahah;-)
naaaaah but I don't know.
I am like that.
I have never known how to hold my tongue.
a silent one, a two language one(French/English or perhaps three or four, poetic and art language)but yes I communicate my feelings.

I am very frank, I can't stand to deny or hide things especially if I am asked questions.
I never mean to harm anyone with words.
I am quieter and wiser for this.
I don't see the point in frankness for the sake of frankness
I m here for truth and honesty.

Behind Ours Masks

I wanted to vlog about that one but then not strength enough,no energy and let's be honest
it is no fun for me to speak to a camera.
Yes the challenge was.
Still am amazed of the things have been able to do, so daring!
I am also quite glad of all the things I learned, how to make a movie with video parts, it was quite interesting and I love to see I'm capable of things that are not things I am thought to be good at.
softwares for instance, I'm like huh???WTF dumb o____O before them:)

so this painting!
It's called behind our Masks.

I am quite attracted to masks,if I had money and if I would travel I'd buy many and collect them all!

There is so much meaning in that word,in the object: Mask.

It can just be the mask, you put to play and just have fun in Venise, big sighs:)
dressed like a princess, the romantic stories in the meanders of tiny streets of Venise such a dream place!!

but masks can be many things.
For instance they can be sacred to give you power to enter your persona and grow your spiritual path.
You wear a mask you're not sure if it'll fit you,but it takes you there.
It's like an initiatic journey you know.

Sometimes also we take the alter ego masks
So some people can say " oh you want to pretend you're someone you're not"
but you're just linking your soul to archetypes, ideal to commune with an ideal self
In this people can think we either take ourselves too seriously or pretend show off whatever!
Let people talk while we are learning about ourselves and growing.

Masks are ways to reveal sides of our personality
In a way art ,poetry and photography are masks to me, I can hide myself Helene deroubaix behind Helenina.I can show only what I want.
if I want to show my humanity and being real I'll share a picture like that:

17/366: The truth about Helenina
(click to read the Truth about Helenina)

27/366: Oh Honesty what is Life?(click to read about Honest and my thoughts on life.

or then I can go further and share remiscences or prolongations of my being:


I am not dark as such

Virgin state of Mind

a song I adore and that inspired me that picture above

I know I am not this, the me I am is the naked with no make up and photoshop thing, but if we go that far, and dig deeper then I can say I am not this vessel my body I am the inside of it, the inner life, the boiling vulcano the soul so alive and if I go further I also can say I am not this either that my soul is just a pale copy of the real me I am and also maybe I am you because I feel I belong in a way
I belong to others...
how? why?
Not sure, but in the offering of myself, in the sharing of each of my thoughts that make them enter and get closer or not.

Masks can also hide of course, when we get angry aren't we wearing a mask?
The ego is one of our worse mask, I cannot stand this.
I have ego crises at times but I know what is the most important. I won't lose the best things over ego.
I can truly find ways to behave better and quieter.
I can say I'm sorry.
I can acknowledge ego made me talk this way.
a sticky mask sometimes.

Like when rejected for instance, you know that pain in the womb, an ugly sensation, you feel like getting angry or crying and not sure.
in those cases either you just cry because people tell you things that show they don't like you at all whereas what they see is not you but you in their eyes etc so after all it s nothing much:P
or you can go angry and attack them to defende your hurt ego, but it's also a normal instinctive reaction to want to protect oneself
but do we need to do that?

Sometimes Jealousy make us wear the mask of anger or revenge ,this is so strange.
I have done this many times in the past.
Again Ego tricks:-)
breathe before doing or saying things you might regrets, there are many ways to creatively express the truth you feel in a smart way.
but yes we can do mistakes of course:-)

Sometimes we just wear the mask of Jealousy to express we love, this is sad no?
we should just remember the purpose of Love, and its deep meaning!

I think Love is something so rich ,I am still learning and discovering more about this.
Thought there was nothing more to learn but with time I get to see new faces of love, other kinds of love,ways to love and my horizon widen a lot.

well I could go on an on