Waiting for the Summer fruits while remembering springtime flowers in the graveyard

More than a month later.
Times flies no wait! it's running after me!

Wish I had time to write my blog, surely it could do me good.
To write a little.
To just talk about my daily life and my art life.




It feels so good everytime I go back to my acrylic world ;)













I haven't painted much for a while.
Not in the mood, too busy with other things in my life, like phoetry for instance.
Working on different projects.
In fact for a whole month I was really incredibly busy but I handled it and I guess I loved it.
When you're so busy you go to the essential and you have no time for insomnia.
Kidding a bit, but working so much made me feel better.



You don't have to compartimentalize your self, especially if you're an artist.
Just keep expressing, share what you have to share, do what you have to do,always out of Love.
And I believe you are safe, for everyone interpretes no one ever grasp the truth of your own soul.
You only know.

who you are. And why you do the things you do.
Even if sometimes it can sound weird to you, with time and looking back you find the answers are all in the questions of your art, your heart.











(picture featured in my book In The Name Of Kali)





I have so many to express but I don't know where to start.
How to do a sum up on everything I've been lucky to learn and discover this past month.

First of all about Friendship and making friends.
Still the same old thing that people want you to be honest and they cannot hear your truth.
hey it's merely your truth, so it should not be the world to them right?

I have been through events that showed me true friendship required maturity, a bit of self trust to be aware of what you have to offer in this relationship, a good sense of humour and of course open mindedness and tolerance.

I remember when I was younger I somehow couldn't hear people disagreement with me, I would lose temper at once now I am okay to listen and I always try to see what the person means, how she or he perceives things.
It's always a question of perception after all.

If you're strong enough, you're not fleeing because of another viewpoint.

Immaturity can be cute of course it depends how it is shown but some people feel lonely and disbelieve in true friendship, or just want to criticize the rest of the humanity as if they had the monopoly of good heart or what?
This is so absurd!

Open your mind!
See further for goddess's sake!

I am always sadden when people don't want to grow and understand things.
Stubborness is a huge waste of time.
Of course we all have our strong opinion and we sometimes don't feel like changing,it's ok.
We have lived things that make us be who we are, but when you want to make friends you have to open and be ready to lose or suffer the fact you won't face a mirror.
We are all similar but all unique.
it's just so sad all the beauty people may waste with a locked up heart.

They may say it's because they've been hurt a lot in the past and disappointed by everyone and they don't want to trust anymore.
immature waste of time, we learn in this!
we learn through this!


There is something I really cringe at it's when people feel the need to criticize another to feel better about themselves.
Like " come on people stop whining and believe that fairies will pop out of your screen"

fuck this!and fuck you!
If these people want to share their emotions the way they do,it's their right
not please with this, kiss their asses!

I cannot stand those attitudes.
People should just live their life and stop pointing their fingers at other and how they live theirs!
Hell,Leave us alone!

I do not fear any criticize or anyone wanting to burn me, that's always why I chose the name " Ma Sorcière" at flickr.

I am totally utterly and completely accepting myself & happily pissing you if it has to.
never my goal well okay it depends if you tease me too much babe;)



People must see me as bitchy because I have a big mouth and anger is not something I am shameless to express.
I have read anyways in some Christian or catholic forums that anger was not so much of a sin
of course I do not believe in the idea of sin, I gladly play with it.
and if anger was a sin I would be then a shameless sinner.

Not out of rebellion, it's more than this.
I believe in expressing your disagreement, if you suffer because of somebody's behaviour it is just your right to tell them you are angry and why.
It does not mean hurting them on purpose.
But saying unpleasant things to them that is merely your truth on how you lived things, how you felt them and it cannot be changed.

We are the way people had treated us.
Like our parents in childhood and teen age for instance.

If your parents complimented you, hugged you, showed you care, lots of affection, if they made you feel you could do anything, if they were there anytime listening closely to your problems etc maybe then you can grow as a self confident adult and not have to endure depression or lack of self esteem at times.

Of course we have to cut the cord too.
Past is past, even if it feels like something has been stolen from us, something we can never have again.
A missing part in our life.
How to fill the hole? how it to heal it whole?

Art ,creativity, love and being real are possible answers to this, and of course to try not to act the same way.

We all live in cycles.
I mean cycles of sorrows and joy that come back to us and we feel oh I have experienced this before in another way perhaps, sometimes it could also be reminiscence of past lives.
Some present sorrow can re-open past wounds, it's the life.
How we deal with this?
expression and imagination.

There is enough energy in our soul to heal if we really want to.

Some people still come to me asking "how is the baby? how is your pregnancy"

I am like, well he, okay you didn't know not your fault, but I lost it, I miscarried.

Then the whole thing is back again, like a wave to my face and I remember it's me who've been through this maelstrom of emotions.

But I am definetly not alone in this.
I have been lucky enough to take pictures of wonderful children.
There are great teachers and my contact with them made me more and more understand how I have a real easy bond with children, that childhood is a familiar world to me.
A lot of people often say how younger I look in real life or on my photos, it's cute.












I really hope to keep learning and finally create another business as a photographer.
Especially children photographer because I love to capture that essence , the soul of this time, so pure, so innocent, where magic is unscathed.

To come back about anger, it's an emotion people often deny, feel ashamed, can't deal with etc.
I express anger easily when I disagree if it's something important of course I'm not angry at everything.
I love when I'm fine with everything, but the world is not bright pink everyday is it?
look further.

I believe it's because I am capable to love immensely, I share a lot of myself, I am a real human being or trying to always tend towards this.
I give, I try to inspire, I share and I do listen a lot.
The fact that I love big implies also the fact I can also be extreme with anger because there are things I cannot bear.
like Anais Nin said:

"The only abnormality is the incapacity to love."

Also some people tried to bother me with the fact I take self portrait that showed my body in a sensual or erotic way and then taking pictures of Innocence/children.

Well I do believe we are complete when we can express Mary and the Magdalene, of course you draw the limits.

I would quickly kick pedophiles asses.
I have seen other photographers taking sensual self portraits and also the most beautiful soulful and real portrait of innocent children and there was nothing wrong with that.

It's like a woman can be a Mother and she's still a sexual wife.
She's not only the sweet heart of the house.
We are multi sided, so is my art.


They fly
You're in them
They fly
You want them
entwined thorns so soft and touching
How beautiful the nightmares under my pillow under my bed under my heart
Ankle all swollen
Sore throat
Sense all sored
A wardrobe full of circean dress
Little darkness
Tame thy monster whisper the pixies
But all my garden have blown away
seeds of dandelions
No dreams no wishes
For another tree
To climb and let my soul soar
I cannot clean my wings
I am a bad needlewoman
I want to sew my lips together to prevent them to utter
my need my needs my desires



I believe my friends understand and enjoy the things I do without judging.

We have many different things to express.

so yes I have been working on a New Eve project!




and happily mixed Innocence and sexuality.

My thoughts are fizzing and I have many new ideas for books, but sometimes I'm like Hey hold on!
I cannot note all these things!
So I believe I have enough ideas for the next 10 years ;)
haha



Ha! this is one of my most fav poetic design since a long time!
It all appeared by magick out of the blue so thank you Fairies!Thank you muses!!
I am blessed and never alone.
Of course it's for an imaginary band so I had to imagine it all :)
It's always so much fun to me!



Band name: June Please June
Album name: Springtime watery songs

1)Alone at the White crow queen lake
2)April's flowers underwater
3)May drowned
4)Artemis river of presents
5)Strange path of the pomegranates
6)Away from the Fields of narcissi
7)Sister Demeter's letter
8)Third lane
9)Douceur de Léthé
10)Flammes à l'amer
11)4
12)Ocean of love and coffins
13)Blue funk stream

Of course one day I will make a book on this too, but yeah I need more than a life ;)



He said "Anais!Anais!"
I remember that name.
She said it could be your daughter's name, the one you'll never have.
I told him she was under a pile of pages of madness
He couldn't read my name anymore so I told him to be my hurt
He couldn't be my words
Even if he dared
How could Mr Empathy bleed as much as a woman
Not in my story anyways
Men invente themselves pain and women live through them
Always
For instance when you got a package in your car and you never dare
pull out the ribbon
then who are you?
A ghost?
Are you fucking insane?
I thought that was me.
I thought
All along the cinders a shoe that shouldn't be red
Sometimes you say you're afraid to acknowledge the water in your eyes
This hole darkest void
I wish I could be the rain when they ask for the sun

(...)



Still waiting
Red roses in the vase on the kitchen table
I hear the melancholly on the window pane
It echoes
Humide soft noises
She forgot her keys once again
Did she do it on purpose
On the bed Anais' dress
I could still smell her perfume
The satin of poetry that suits her skin like nothing else
When you meet Anais you never forget her eyes
All the secrets they tell when they penetrate yours
It's a strange moment right after midnight
Her ghost is above me invading her dress
Floating laces and the bewitching whispers
Then later I sway naked in the attic
Missing her touch
missing the way she understands
Each of her kisses not demanding not expecting anything
As the rain falls deeper(...)

she dances on the walls that she paints with her whispers:




(not completely satisfied with this self portrait but I love the poem with it)

There are demons on Rachel's road
It's in her name
It's in her faith
Along the ground
Debris of all the things she recalls
We hear evil songs on Rachel's road
Among the particules there is note
Something that caress your neck when you sleep to dream
She doesn't remember much of these nights
One day she'll tear up the horizon On Rachel's road
The ravin isn't far
You could come with me
If you want to feel
desert of books not to be read
But if you do you cry the same
Like the black doves
After all the grins having cut you through
After all the thorns having slashed you open
She wanted to be wide open and freed from turmoil
There are flowers of lies on Rachel's road
"Can you hurt me now? will you hurt me now? If I ask you to?"
When you lie down
The ground is hot
You gaze at the ceiling for hours in the dark
Except it's the sky the beginning of void
Wishing it could tumble down on you
So you wouldn't have to be sewed back
With all these things inside
I wish I could tell
On Rachel's road silences are obsessing mesmerizing
I wish I could tell
But the distance is drowing near(...)










Maybe in the world of fake she could be the one
Behind her mask behind her glowing dress
He didn't know the whore was a giver
Forgive her
How many times she would dance this way
Always the same right steps left steps
Completely poisoned and tamed
You try to love her
She leaves with no word
Next year for the same entrance
She's in trance in her bleeding world
Everyone want to protect her but most abuse
She will claim it's her right to suffer
Her only desire
Because she cannot love her
Fasten this little terror
Quiet she knows it's better to be fucked than alone
Ella Jane always drown to the darkest horse underwater
You're not Ophelia
Tear that dress now
She will cry in my arms talking about strength
I witness the massacre in her bleeding poppy fields
She cannot sleep anymore
She remember spreading not wanting
A big S on her heart
There are cinders glowing cinders
Wish I could have helped my sister
But she cannot realise she has given up on her own
I told her everything was better not to
And she smiles
The most noisy smile you've ever seen
You see how she will kneel when he'll ask her to leave everything
You're gonna leave your home
You're gonna kill your soul
This big S in the middle
I won't blame their testosterone shackling & their weakness
This time I wish you loved your self
only this time


another poem that had to be shared, hoping some sisters out there can read and perhaps decide to take the power back and to be their own.

I often think about this, how women became half of themselves for a man, this is so sad.
As for these men they are so weak.
Their power resides only in controlling, how pathetic.

People have to be reminded what Love is sometimes.
A lot of ego is taking part in painful relationship because no one really dares to give in to Love, what it merely is. The beauty of it.







Another twig though springtime is gone already
Gabriel Gabriel sing for me lullabies for her
In her dreams for me
She's waving from the other side
Seraphim are holding books and taking notes
Filling pages of the sounds of my love tears
You're not there I don't even know your face
But in all the petals of light I wrote how much I miss you
Letting my heart swirls yearning for this blessing
Come little darling we've been waiting for thee
Blood roses spiralling around my china breaks
Lilith dances in my laces and she says
How pure this love can be
Pomegranate leaking on my chest
I wait for the magic to come
Hail all the angels
Impregnating my souls to the saraswati waters
Poetic ripples in the depths of my heart
Bring me my daughter!
I am a mother!
Bring me my daughter!
(...)

the Throat chakra and the depths of my Honest Inner Voice

It's been a while.
If I could I'd blog everyday:-)
but I do that in a way at my flickr.in a way because sometimes I talk about my thoughts and sometimes they are stories or projections of my friends'thoughts and feelings:-)


I received two You Make My Day Awardthank you so much Marie and Michelle:-)
you're great, inspiring, kind and giving faery women and I'm honoured to get these awards from such ladies! :-)

I'll be honest both ways I could give the award to everyone,each of my dearest friends, and to none, because right now I hardly read everyone's life, trying, but I cannot be everywhere.
Not self centered at all, still giving a lot but different ways.at flickr for instance, such a wonderful community:)

Sometimes I wonder, well when will it end?
will I get bored of flickr one day?

how many pictures it can store?
ever?
really?
I mean in 10 years how will it be?

It's strange, funny, like you know another kind of social closeness and interaction.

Bitter people say it's internet it's not real, but I behave with those people the same ways as if I'd meet them in real life, just that perhaps I'd be more of an introvert, because I am not that chatty and rather ill at ease when I don't know the person.

so I wanted to do the chakras exercices,not sure I'll have time for each of them, will see:-)
but I'm always inspired by :
Mich's virtual circle


Chakra Attributes

Color: Blue

Function: Communication, Creativity, Connection

Healing Essence of the Chakra: Located in the throat and neck region of the body and extending upward to include the lower region of the brain or cortex, this area holds the communication center. Through the Throat Chakra one may speak long-held truths of past hurts and, in the process, find much inner peace and a sense of personal freedom. With a healed and healthy fifth chakra, one’s words are kind, clear and truthful.

Keywords: Truth, Self-Expression, Song, Poetry, Clarity, Communication

Affirmations:

* I am the messenger.
* I speak my truth with clarity and courage.

Interpreting excess or deficiency in the fifth chaka

Excessive Characteristics

* Talking too much or inappropriately
* Gossiping(I do gossip at times but it's rarer nowadays:-)
* Stuttering(well it happens when I'm so shy and nervous around strangers or people I care about or perhaps feel sort of stupid or inferior, speaking is not easy for me)
* Difficulty being silent(No I love it!except around people I know and love I can be super fuzzy chatterbox :-)
* Excessive loudness(it happens)
* Inability to contain (keep confidences, etc)(well it depends...

Deficient characteristics

* Difficulty putting things in words(not when writing them except if it hurt way too much things like death for instance)
* Fear of speaking
* Speaking with a small, weak voice, it does happen a lot to me because it's my nature, I am an introvert, I don't want to change this, I am living it better each year, doesn t mean I'm scared of others.
* Secretiveness, I am
* Excessive shyness, well depends on my mood:P
* Tone deafness

Balanced characteristics

* Reasonant, full voice
* Clear communication with others
* Good communication with self
* Good listener
* Good sense of timing and rhythm
* Lives life creatively

The fifth chakra self evaluation

1. Are you comfortable with your own voice? Have you ever listened to its reasonace?


I often begin my sentences like that but it's true,it depends;)
Sometimes yes I will perceive my voice, hear myself, almost if I was out of myself,I can hear the rhythme and reasonance of it.
I can think I like it when I speak laugh or sing, either on my own or with loved ones etc.
but sometimes for instance at my youtube videos I hardly stand the sound of my voice.
I love the voices of feelings, when you speak to loved ones, when you care, try to hear and reassure, there I am fine with my voice and its softness.




2. Do you allow other people to have their say and be heard?


of course I do!
I used to be more stubborn though ahah, that makes me laugh because yes I would get mad and not let people speak, not that lalalallalaa with fingers in ears but almost ahah
Really now I love to hear people talk to me about them or everything they like or are with a deep honesty, no holding back, no faking it, just being real, I admire and love that.
I dont mind not agreeing on everything, I love discussing, I don't need my friends and loved ones to be on the same page always.
Sometimes when I am in a chatty mood I cut people when they speak that's something hate, I feel uncomfortable then, I would hate that the person think I just want to speak and not enjoy the back and forth
I am more interested in the listening anyways, the speaking is my offering.


3. In what ways do you express yourself creatively?

big sighs, Poetry my beloved ones, the wife of my dreams ^____^
poetry is my big sister, my dearest friend, she holds me anytime I need, oh words, my best friends...couldn t live without writing
I think I have always dreamt to be a writer from the age of 8.
I began penpalling at 7 and writing short stories at about 8 and of course a diary!
oh my!

diaries have always been so very important to me.
I have a lot of them in a big cardstock parcel
pages of my life,sweet or funny memories
I often want to open it, like a therapy ,seeing why I am here and now the person I am.

I keep them.
Sometimes when I'll have a daughter, I can reread the ten years old me and understand her more ahah:)
might be cute:)

so yes I write, I also sing, I take pictures ,self portraits but not only!!
and of course I paint and create collages:)
I am truly lucky to be such an expressive person, it's weird in a way
I have a big need to express but most of my expressions are silent, because I do live INSIDE.
It's a real mise en abime, inside, inside inside...

that's perhaps no matter how much I share, say,give, show about myself and how far I confide to the world and to my dearest friends I am still a bit mysterious.
well not that I need or mind being mysterious, it always makes me laugh when people say so, because I don't think so, I am so familiar and just another small town girl:-)




4. Do you feel that people hear you?


I feel heard with the time and attention my friends/loved ones give to me.
I am heard when I see people understand, are touched or inspired by me.
I am heard when I see people emulate my work( I dont mean anything bad or hierarchic here at all) I am deeply honoured and touched to see that!
It is a big gift they do to me to sort of bring a following to what I do, that it goes on, like we're branches of the same trees of art kindness, creativity,soulfulness etc

It is beautiful!

I feel heard when people don't judge, comment here at my blog,send me kind emails,comments at my flickr.
I feel heard when I see I can make a change, influence another to be more positive, hopeful, etc, the sharing of emotions.

God that is my blessings, to be able to make other FEEL too.
I m truly blessed for that.



5. Do you communicate your feelings open and honestly?

yes I do.
always. too much according to some I'm quite sure ahah;-)
naaaaah but I don't know.
I am like that.
I have never known how to hold my tongue.
a silent one, a two language one(French/English or perhaps three or four, poetic and art language)but yes I communicate my feelings.

I am very frank, I can't stand to deny or hide things especially if I am asked questions.
I never mean to harm anyone with words.
I am quieter and wiser for this.
I don't see the point in frankness for the sake of frankness
I m here for truth and honesty.




I wanted to vlog about that one but then not strength enough,no energy and let's be honest
it is no fun for me to speak to a camera.
Yes the challenge was.
Still am amazed of the things have been able to do, so daring!
I am also quite glad of all the things I learned, how to make a movie with video parts, it was quite interesting and I love to see I'm capable of things that are not things I am thought to be good at.
softwares for instance, I'm like huh???WTF dumb o____O before them:)

so this painting!
It's called behind our Masks.

I am quite attracted to masks,if I had money and if I would travel I'd buy many and collect them all!

There is so much meaning in that word,in the object: Mask.

It can just be the mask, you put to play and just have fun in Venise, big sighs:)
dressed like a princess, the romantic stories in the meanders of tiny streets of Venise such a dream place!!

but masks can be many things.
For instance they can be sacred to give you power to enter your persona and grow your spiritual path.
You wear a mask you're not sure if it'll fit you,but it takes you there.
It's like an initiatic journey you know.

Sometimes also we take the alter ego masks
So some people can say " oh you want to pretend you're someone you're not"
but you're just linking your soul to archetypes, ideal to commune with an ideal self
In this people can think we either take ourselves too seriously or pretend show off whatever!
Let people talk while we are learning about ourselves and growing.

Masks are ways to reveal sides of our personality
In a way art ,poetry and photography are masks to me, I can hide myself Helene deroubaix behind Helenina.I can show only what I want.
if I want to show my humanity and being real I'll share a picture like that:


(click to read the Truth about Helenina)

(click to read about Honest and my thoughts on life.

or then I can go further and share remiscences or prolongations of my being:







a song I adore and that inspired me that picture above

I know I am not this, the me I am is the naked with no make up and photoshop thing, but if we go that far, and dig deeper then I can say I am not this vessel my body I am the inside of it, the inner life, the boiling vulcano the soul so alive and if I go further I also can say I am not this either that my soul is just a pale copy of the real me I am and also maybe I am you because I feel I belong in a way
I belong to others...
how? why?
Not sure, but in the offering of myself, in the sharing of each of my thoughts that make them enter and get closer or not.

Masks can also hide of course, when we get angry aren't we wearing a mask?
The ego is one of our worse mask, I cannot stand this.
I have ego crises at times but I know what is the most important. I won't lose the best things over ego.
I can truly find ways to behave better and quieter.
I can say I'm sorry.
I can acknowledge ego made me talk this way.
a sticky mask sometimes.

Like when rejected for instance, you know that pain in the womb, an ugly sensation, you feel like getting angry or crying and not sure.
in those cases either you just cry because people tell you things that show they don't like you at all whereas what they see is not you but you in their eyes etc so after all it s nothing much:P
or you can go angry and attack them to defende your hurt ego, but it's also a normal instinctive reaction to want to protect oneself
but do we need to do that?

Sometimes Jealousy make us wear the mask of anger or revenge ,this is so strange.
I have done this many times in the past.
Again Ego tricks:-)
breathe before doing or saying things you might regrets, there are many ways to creatively express the truth you feel in a smart way.
but yes we can do mistakes of course:-)

Sometimes we just wear the mask of Jealousy to express we love, this is sad no?
we should just remember the purpose of Love, and its deep meaning!

I think Love is something so rich ,I am still learning and discovering more about this.
Thought there was nothing more to learn but with time I get to see new faces of love, other kinds of love,ways to love and my horizon widen a lot.

well I could go on an on

***Awakened Aphrodite & womb of potential***

so here above is my Illustration Friday:The blues

I have many other ideas, I had a funny idea well just me laugh( cheap humour)
The blues sisters ^_^
with crazy nuns making great blues( an Echo to my love sébastien's funny graphic illustration)Seb's blog
Go check and laugh and put a nice comment to him ^_^if you enjoy his work ^_^

so mine is a little girl an epitomy of Empathy.
She is carrying the pain of the world on her frail wings.
her big heart bleeds.
so it's Blue for Red.
Peace for all this violence.

I had in mind the Free Burma campaign and petition of course.



But I am someone who don't feel it's so right to suddenly wake up and fight for a cause, unite, do your little two cents to show you care.
I feel it's kind of cheap
yeah I may sound cynical but let me explain.
In fact I just remember there is not just Burma that is suffering now!
It's just Because fucking news on Tv talk about it all the time.

I mean we don't talk each day about all women who are rapped killed or absuded by the ir husband or strangers in the streets.
We don't talk about all the children in the world who are suffering each day, with sexual tourism because they have to work to get money to get food etc etc

so my work is to spread peace and empathy on each kind of red violence and pain.
I'm sometimes a bit hopeless or too realistic I don't know how to put it but oh well
I do not believe in Universal Peace.
I think we have to bear in mind there will always be violence and cruelty for free or not but that shouldn't prevent us from doing a little gesture, giving a little, uniting, spreading the positive thinking and making a little change happen, even how tiny it may be.

I also think that's why we have to bear in mind that we have to begin Peace Inside us and in Our Home to be totally real and sincere in our giving.

I say so because I remember my self hatred in the Past and the fact I loved lost souls and tried to save them, I couldn't collect all the pieces of my broken self but I pretended I could help others?
Maybe I did nice things of course but I am sorry for the way I had been so cruel to myself and for having abandonned myself oh so many times mostly because of rejections and the way people looked at me, the way boys left me all the time :(((((
(kidding I am quite healed from that mwhahahahaahh ;oP)

Tant pis pour eux,tant mieux pour moi ^____^(kidding)

Now I want to catch upon all questions by Mich
Here virtual circle

Because I love this blog of spiritual souls and soul searching/analyzing:)

How are you honouring yourself?

We are the mirror, as well as the face in it.
We are tasting the taste of eternity this minute.
We are pain and what cures pain.
We are the sweet cold water and the jar that pours. Soul of the world, no life, nor world remain,
no beautiful women and men longing.
Only this ancient love circling the holy black stone of nothing.
Where the lover is the loved, the horizon and everything within it.
Rumi

"The path into Awakened Aphrodite’s embrace entails constant discernment, for She embodies the truth of real love.

No longer does She confuse mere seduction, which is fear-based, with love, which knows no fear.

Loving and kind to all women and men, She refuses to perpetuate the competitive and jealous ways of others.

She is at home in Her physical body and grateful for the gift of life. She shares this joy with all around Her. She attracts many things to herself, yet knows the path of discrimination.

Take time for yourself. Sleep when you need to, vacation and play when it is appropriate. Do not overwork or bury yourself in competitive work habits.

Awakened Aphrodite accepts life.

Live life fully. Above all else, do not be afraid to love completely and honestly. Honour thyself and love will return one thousand times over."(words by Mich)

This is oh so true.
I have arrived to a path of being a lot more aware of what LOVE is, true love, not just the couple, the love in everything everyone that can have different forms.

I am honouring myself with so many things.
I think this year I have been closer to my inner self than ever
I have found that balance and comfort in taking care of myself loving myself without being selfish or just self centered.
I am at peace with that really!

I am honouring myself playing with my inner Fae Child and letting her pop anytime she feels like it.
I know there is a time for work and a time to play:)
I balance this very well and of course I am very lucky to be a full time artist( in spite of the lack of money it implies ahah)because I can play working ahhaha ;);)


I'm honouring myself with being the real me always not denying not hiding and enjoying to give pieces of me here and there.
I have time for me and time for my beloved ones time for art/work, time for passion,time for fun time for humanity time for others .

I am respecting myself truly and am accepting any kind of rejections.
I don't mind being hated for me.
It hurts a second because you're emotional but then it doesn't kill.

I m quite glad of the freedom I give to myself, this allowing of freedom of being me of saying stupid things of being silly of maybe looking ridiculous weird or plain, all this makes me feel so alive and fearless.
For I know no matter what I'll be loved as I love and pour my soul.



How shall I begin my song
in the blue night that is setting?
In the great night
my heart will go out;
toward me the darkness comes, rattling;
in the great night my heart will go out.
Papago Medicine Woman Chant


How are you stepping out of the norm and opening yourself to new opportunities?


that second question by Mich is very interesting and synchro again.
I'm greatly evolving according to those questions.
Because since this summer I have opened many New doors to potentials to possibilites and of course to freedom of being the complete me.

It's very empowering in a way, I do feel stronger and have grown a better self confidence.
Oh I'm still very shy and do doubt my work now and then of course but I have a softer look on everything I do/I am.

so I'm definetly stepping out of the norm with my thinking, freedom of speech, frankness and honesty.
My pictures too are out of the norm,outsider works, especially the retouched one/artworks:













That last picture is a bit off limits ^_^
it's called cosmic fuck

yeah maybe for English speaking people it must sound rude or violent I don't know,but to me it really belongs to a poetical imagery of sensuality.
Here is the poem that goes along:-)


Des étoiles pleins les yeux qui léchent nos coeurs amoureux
Des comètes pleines d'un Feu indéchiffrable et mystérieux
Tes lèvres déposent un baiser aux portes des fleurs d'une autre galaxie
Le même écho encore et encore
Un espace immense où notre Ivresse s'étale
Aucun Trou noir ne nous aspirent
Nous les remplissons de jus de supernova
Les astres tournoient
Tout scintille pour toi et moi
L'infini existe dans ce mélange cosmique
Bien au dessus de la voûte céleste nous flottons
Tu respires au plus profond de mon âme
Larmes de nébuleuse dans nos regards déchirés
D'Amour et d'euphorie
Notre constellation se profilent en "Je t'aime"'s insondables
Ta voix lactée pétillent d'un Amour Divin
Mystique attachement des lianes de nos bras
O mon si doux cosmique émoi
******************************************

Eyes filled with Stars that lick our hearts in Love
Comets full of an undecipherable and mysterious Fire
Your lips offer a kiss to the Doors of flowers from another galaxy
The same Echo again & Again
An Immense Space where we spread Dimentia(intoxication?)
No black hole will swallow us
we fill them with supernova Juice
The asters twirl
Everything twinkles for you and I
Infinite does exist in this cosmic mix
We're floating far above the celestial canopy
You breathe in the innermost depths of my Soul
Nebula tears in our eyes
Torn with Love & Euphoria
Our constellation is outlined by unphathomable ' I love you(s)"
Your milky way sparkles with a Divine Adoration
Mystic attachment of the lianas of our arms
O my so sweet Cosmic agitation

written and translated by me,crappy translation but no time :P



Now here are my latest art squared( 14x14cm)






all in small click on them to see bigger


and here is my last painting, titled: To my Blessed Ones

to thank them deeply for existing because we are truly made of our loved ones and the world the univers would never be with the same without them that you can not imagine how life was or could be without them.
my Blessed Ones are of course My family ( except alexis), my parents that I adore( my father loves to see this when I write it soo ^_^Dad this is for you: I love you ^-^and you'd better shake yourself to do a painting or collage soon with long time bought canvas that's gonna collect some dust :p) mwahahhaha
my brother François, my sister Mélanie, my darling sébastien, my lovely furry creature Takun( yes he belongs to the Family) etc and of course the Family of the heart, the family of the mind and the family of the soul.
You know who you are and I heart you dearly, blessed be!

Yay it's done! wow that was a long entry, won't do that everyday oh my! but then you can have a small hints of all the things I do and how crazy busy my life is :) but also and above it all you can see how fine I do feel.

Hey Melody Dawn Mull I am thinking of you, hope you got my postcard by now,miss you dear!hope you're ok.