Just having thoughts of Hecate...

This is my first page in my new art jrnl but as I've ruined the two other pages I am not even sure if I will go on.
I'm way too moody. I also think I'm too busy to do everything, to really find time for myself.

I need some Light.





so I've been working in my art journal and seeing the face looking more like crappy manga girls, I was like huh??? o____O wtf

felt frustrations as usual. I know I shouldn't do what I think I should do, but do what is true to my heart,what gives me pleasure

I've felt this discomfort of being me sometimes
that's why I created this piece of my vision of Hecate,being the queen of Hell and darkness( and more)hating her inside Darkness.
Like pieces of me hating this Dark roots that entangle my soul.sometimes I feel I can't walk through this.

there would be more to say about this piece but she speaks gently (which is paradoxical) about this sadness of hating her own,she is unravelling the truth...and there is another me singing" who is this terrorist?"(wink to the redhead doll)

I was thinking "when are you gonna love yourself my Hecate? I know it's hard to swim in the sea of extremes, I know we don't always feel safe in this skin, I know how hard it is some days to be our own & accept this as a whole...
is there more Passion in hatred? does your hatred turns into another fire,can this rescue you?

I am satisfied about the emotions in her face but not much in the color of her skin, I wish I could make paler women.
I love wan faces.dollish.porcelain hearts.not that breakable in spite of their cracks(breaches).that could be a sweet feminist ellipse;)

so yes my Hecate hides her tears, she has to show her strenght,she is the great sorceress...
She has tried to hep Demeter find Persephone and her Empathy was big,now she just can't bear to be sided.
she wonders if this is Life.
To be profoundly happy and profoundly sad in two distinct parts of our life?

Because it is True, Life can be marvelous when you bend on a side, but it's also awful?
are we blind?
Do we learn to be blind and get used to this so we can enjoy our journey?

People who don't want to talk and over think it, just say "c'est la vie"
let's shorten things we can't understand by this awful phrase.

How boring.

Well now I'm off to yoga to flee all these mental fluctuations ^_^