mardi 4 mai 2010
Call up memories from the taiga
whiteness of all the beginning of fairytales
Bear in mind some winters can be the coldest ones
The snow is covered of the shreds of your paper heart
who will read your screams now
behind my steps each of your clouds
Some under the pink taste like lemon rinds
We are the readers and the makers of all those heartbreaking stories
blankets of remembrances
we hold it dear in spite of thorns the smell of the roses
Volodia I can feel you in the ether of my reveries
your frozen ghostly touch on my shoulder
Like all the pain your sister can remember
Volodia the trees are too high
And your light is fading in the blinding landscape of the borealis forest
I cannot heal your misery
yet I know how it touched me
Some of them poured citrus on the shreds
how many slices of nightmares
layers of heartache
stories to tell you at night
words in your hands
tears in mine
my brother , my double, my twin, my fiend I love you so
we are the tellers of hell and glows even with our lead load of lows
Fall sweet fall
Like a muddy torrent from hollow eyes
sometimes we are so severed
brain cells bleeding
for some respite
Show me that marrooned island
Show me some soothing antarctica land
Mary's hand fell down
I still don't know why
But I need this dark bench to lie down for a moment
To let my soul moths write and pour
All the words I am way too drained to write
He could write for me while I tried to fall asleep
Fruits of the most delicious juice
I lick the pain I love
If you please hurt me more cut me more
slice of a life I cannot live alone
because I cannot walk naked
I need to be dressed in you
I cannot sleep alone
I need to be a dream of you
Write me down
In the most gorgeous way
under white sheet
with the most somber ink
Make me bleed your highness and glows
Torture me on the coldest blue shore
Thus I will give you more(...)
My little hell
Icicles under sheet
And I fall always deeper
cutting my soul to my needs
Where is this shore
where you would be
where my one and only
wouldn't mind playing in my mud
wouldn't be afraid to be stained by my passion
Give me your sky
I won't be afraid of your clouds
They can whisper in my eyes
My tears would wash it all away
It hurts so much all this silence
I twirl like a ghost and nobody sees
barefeet on my way to nowhere cuz everyone hate me
Cupide the spears have burnt me so bad
His name under my skin
but still no arms around
I lick the emptiness in my hands
I walk naked in the garden
Waiting for the night to wrap me
In her darkest ocean with no stars
cuz nothing shines for me
I am no bokeh queen
There is no beauty under my sparkles
Can somebody teach me how to stop to need
Maybe then I could begin to love
Maybe I could start embracing all the magic within
I adore this family portrait, but pervs still find something arousing about this.
how pathetic for them.
I am a bit bored of perv and stalkers at flickr.
It really is just annoying and does not make this place as fun as it used to, though there are so many beautiful and inspiring souls there!
I have decided to stop this blog because oh my I would have way too many things to write and I would not know where to begin!
How beautiful life is now Nina's in our world ^____^
Everyday wakes up on Nina sunshine :o)
she makes us cry , smile, laugh, she is wonderful.
She surprises us.
Now she's even trying to have conversations with us, it is oh so cute and funny, it melts our hearts!
the sounds she makes and we repeat the same way,just as if we were talking together!
it makes our connection more real, I just can't wait to hear her talk in fact!ha!
I am not too nostalgic for now because as she grows now she only wakes up at around 5am so we sleep at night, which is wonderful
but the night have always been rather easy with Nina since she's home, it's the day that she does not like much ^___^
especially the mondays !
Nina is the center of my world.
I feel like protecting her, doing the best so she can grow with trust in us and in herself, in the world too though honestly lately the world has really depressed me...
that awful black tide in Louisiane, it has me woke up all stressed in the night, wondering how many dolphins will die, and what about, how many polluted fishes are we going to eat?
it's so bad, so sad...really.
I was depressed last weekend after the news on tv, because I felt so sad and worried for Nina, what kind of world are we going to leave to our children?
this just breaks my heart.
we are so careless, so selfish.
They keep on making money and working and then don't give a fuck about those birds eating the polluted fishes and all the ocean turning black...
I hate to see this.
Well fortunately I have an optimistic husband who always tries to cheer me up and remind me there is still beauty in this world and well perhaps mankind will change, evolve for the best and respect Mother Earth better?More?
anyways love still remains, in so many kind of ways.
it is positive and reassuring.
Hopefully all this beautiful energy can help this world turn the right way,find the right path for a better future.
I have taken some sensual pictures and I felt rather fine with my new body and really I would not mind being more rounded like this, I am not into having a diet at all.
I really enjoyed the curves,as for the little belly it does not matter much either :)
I am proud of what my body has been able to create!
I look at Nina and I can't help feeling this amazed, I did this.we did this.
Even if she grew and put on weight, she's still so tiny to me!
Sometimes I also believe people don't enjoy your happiness, at least if they are not happy themselves.
really what more could I need now?
I am blessed.
I have never been this happy.
Everything is the way it should be.
I go to bed thanking God/Goddess for all this bliss that I will never take for granted!
Oh of course I am still exhausted,have some anxiety/stress but it's all washed away with Nina's smile and seb's hugs and kisses :)
this one above is surely of my fav pic of Nina :))
I will keep on writing poems/songs, tell stories, heartbreaking fairy tales inspired by the souls that I came across or memories of past existences, parallel lives.
I will keep on painting, making collages and of course taking photographs.
But blogging is too demanding and I have to prioritize things I want to keep and the things that I'd rather let go.
I also don't feel the need to write and share my life the way I used to.
I believe during many years I have been sharing enough.
I will perhaps keep updating the spiritual blog
awakening the inner source"
because I still have things to share and inspire but I'll do whenever I have the time and I'm in the mood.
I have things to write about of course but lately my mommy time is more precious than anything.
and Gosh how much I hate to feel the guilt of not writing back to penpals or emails,and not sending written letters...it also makes me want to stop penpalling but I know I love writing and sharing written thoughts so I will keep writing if my penpals bear with me and are patient :o))
same for emails, I do reply even if it sometimes seems to take ages,it does not mean I forgot about you.
Writing this blog has helped me a lot, has made me connect to souls who could relate, it has made me able to get to know me more and also to release my energy,my passions and so forth.
I remember how it was soothing on my very bad days.
it was cleansing and helpful to write down my thoughts,to bare my soul, to dare to show the real me fearlessly.as always.
thank you to all those who have followed me.
May you be blessed!
Life is wonderful ,everyday is always a new beginning, so many things to love , to keep learning,discovering, admiring!
Each day has its bad or sad/lonely moments and also its sunshine!
we can always be surprised, touched and inspired!
I don't need anything more now.
Just to be able to keep enjoying my blessings/passions.
this was my 200th and last entry.
Blessed be & namasté!
Throw your dreams into space like a kite and you do not know what it will bring back a new life a new friend a new love a new country. (anais nin)
Take The Time To Celebrate Each Of The Precious Things Of Your Life