vendredi 6 avril 2007

My desolate starry gardens

Landing on desolate stars

Landing on desolate stars.

29,7x42 cm

okay I really need right now to pour these words.

First of all thanks so much for the kind comments to my previous post it means a lot to get a feedback when you feel like a void...

so I got rejected for publication in a magazine.
I don't know why some other artist got published and what was so different because many of them add wings,hats and everything & so they are " too similar " too aren't they?

I got that sentence, that my art was "TOO SIMILAR" to some other artists they've published.

Yesterday I had a really awful day,with nasty emotions,headachy,I was numb and depressed,I was out of my skin, out of my soul and I really I couldn't bear looking at myself or just the idea of thinking,of thinking my thoughts.

I was angry at me and all my impotence.

and that lovely email just signed the death of my spirit

It was gone, really. I just went to bed hugging my love and feeling so grateful to God/Goddess who ever out there in spite of all the pain and sorrow I was so grateful to have sebastien in my life!

he really tries and understands me, he appeases my worries.

this morning the woman tried to explain to me that she didn't mean my art was like other artist but that the techniques were the same...

okay maybe.
I don't know why so many people always say then that my background painting is so original:

Fade & Bloom

THe house of Time art autobiographical little book

Imagine you enter my mind...

God in the Blank Page of her mind( print for sale at etsy)

Spirit ridden


I haven't seen much people,making buttons women;flower women,clock women, tree womens like I do.

Lace & Blood #49

Undergo

Severed

Debris of me to Aeolus

Your spirit mesmerize mine #95

Pieces#80

L'Amour #64

Not Enough#69

C'est tout ce qu'il reste

Amberine & the tree of answers

Confessions

fairy promises (SOLD)

fairy promises collection (SOLD)

faith of the little arsonist

abyssal rages

She who turns the wheel of the heavens


so okay,sorry for the outrageous showing off of my art, but I don't see these painted background in other artist's art or why would there always be someone to mail me and ask me how I create my background?

Now yes maybe I don't invent techniques. I just recylce things,use any and everthing.

anyways I've learnt all the techniques I'm using all alone. I don't have any mixed media magazine,or books, I just can't afford them anyways.
and I also FEAR so much to "copy" others.

It's something that makes me feel bad. I totally defend and stand up for my uniqueness.
My art is my life ,saying it was too similar is very rude to me because it's then saying that most mixed media artist who creates fairies do the same thing,no imagination poor things they only can do fairies!

But what if we were just a community of artist who really loves myths and fairytales and want to share positive thinking through magical realms that can show pieces of who they are inside?

On top of that I know I do not only do fairytales things.
My art is not only the bright side of things, it's very real!

I also send them my artist process that was deep and very personal & it didn't inspire them to publish it, well then I'll have to go work and self publish myself!

I know I have to do that.

yesterday I was really shocked, not that I believe in myself so much that I though I'd be published, but yes I did believe my uniqueness striked.

bang! my ego was knocked down...the other one in me truly laught at myself, she said how pathetic I was to think I'd be published in that magazine!

then another one in me was full of anger.

Now venting solace a bit.

I will always assert my uniqueness, my sweet madness,what makes me be another unique individual who makes layered background,put wings and hats,and loves adding birds and owls in her art.

I know that whatever I have to trust my soul,my path and not give up just because it hurts to feel denied.

well today is another day,it's still morning here and I'll have to gather some strenght,tidy a bit,get washed and write some letters.

I have decided it was enough to stay away,bitter,cold & so aloof.
I really want to love, I want to be me, the me I love who wants to give,share and who can always see the lights in spite of everything that's real and violent.

I really have such a hard time to bear this so emotional and fragile soul I am.
words can bring me down way too much when I abandon myself.

I have to get stronger.
I have to rekindle my kundalini!

blessings and namasté, sorry for sounding arrogant, I was just devastated by that word" similar".

8 commentaires:

Pattie Mosca a dit…

H...
There is no rhyme or reason to how they pick the stuff to be in the magazines and a lot of times it is WHO YOU KNOW! I have applied and lost many spots, but DO NOT GIVE UP! Eventually they come to recognize who you are and your unique style! The main thing I have learned from these "rejections" is that something else is suppose to happen with that piece of art! And to continue to create from your own core for your own purpose rather than an outcome! I believe that your art and your postings are so much a part of who you are and how you feel that it touches others. You are more honest about who you are than some people choose to expose. I applaud that about you...And I offer you the single word....BELIEVE! It is your power!
Pattie

Pattie Mosca a dit…

H...
There is no rhyme or reason to how they pick the stuff to be in the magazines and a lot of times it is WHO YOU KNOW! I have applied and lost many spots, but DO NOT GIVE UP! Eventually they come to recognize who you are and your unique style! The main thing I have learned from these "rejections" is that something else is suppose to happen with that piece of art! And to continue to create from your own core for your own purpose rather than an outcome! I believe that your art and your postings are so much a part of who you are and how you feel that it touches others. You are more honest about who you are than some people choose to expose. I applaud that about you...And I offer you the single word....BELIEVE! It is your power!
Pattie

Leah a dit…

yes, don't let someone's words bring you down. rejections are so hard. i struggle with them too, i take rejections too personally, but who knows what the real reasons are. you just have to let them go and move on. it helps to vent sometimes too though! :-)

i always feel better when i hear about how someone like the author of the harry potter series of books was rejected many, many times before she found a publisher...and look how amazingly well she has done!

your art is lovely. just keep on keeping on.

Leah a dit…

hi again, helaine! i just wanted you to know that the finding water blog isn't my regular blog, i'm only co-facilitating a book group for the book "finding water." my regular blog is at creative every day. :-)

Marie a dit…

I agree with Pattie, there is a reason that your piece was not in that magazine. What did you learn from the experience?

Just look how more convicted you are about your art and sharing it with the world, enough to publish it on your own. YOU believe in it; and from what I can see, many others of us do too...every artist, music, words, paintings or otherwise have their own special following of people who understand their message...Stay creative! Marie

Tricia Scott a dit…

helene, i don't think that your work is similar to others. i think your art is very unique...that publication is really missing out. but everything happens for a reason... perhaps there is something better around the corner. please don't give up. believe that good things are coming. :)
happy easter, friend!
xoxo,

TC Design a dit…

I just want to say that I find your work so unique, so wonderful, I like it and it inspire me!!! Don't let anybody bring you down, believe in yourself and your art as many, many people believe in it!!! Happy Easter!!!

Anonyme a dit…

your art is so unique! I'm in love with your trees!I love the mystery in your work, keep up the good work Helenina!

Lisa