did I tell you my problem with Pride?
I always felt pride was ugly bad or something you know not wanted...
I thought people who are proud were a bit too self assured and boring, I thought you were getting arrogant or haughty if you say you were proud of your actions or skills
I know sometimes that it was wrong but when you have the habit to reject pride because of the way you've bred,because of the judeo christian society that makes you say don't be arrogant, be humble etc
I also think our society makes me all get this lack of self confidence because of course of the comparison and the things they want from us,the so called things we should do or have to be worth it
but also because society makes us be able to easily say how stupid we are, to apologize for our limitations and flaws,to be able to say how bad we are at this etc, all these things are allowed
but you say the contrary,you acknowledge your beauties and you end up being seen as arrogant,full of yourself
don't you feel trapped in this?
I always fear people will think I'm so full of myself
I am self centered, and egotist in the human sense of it and because I am an artist but not only
I think I am attached to the conditioning lack of self confidence because I fear others won't see I am still very humble and I still doubts and put myself in questions a lot.
It's amazing how society makes us act because of thinking how we are going to be perceived!
I think we'd better be real always
as far as I'm concerned,I love people who can acknowledge their beauties,who trust their soul ,I also enjoy their breaks,their little flaws, their details that makes them unique...
You killed me But I'll come back
mixed media painting,29,7x42 cm on watercolor paper
Really I know the girl is not a top model and there is a lack of symetry etc
but the more I research on old artist the more I can see how large art is,how there shouldn't compartiment, this is fine art and this is not!
I think I will go on drawing even if I'm not sure I'll be liked for it,we'll see!
But to me it's a real pleasure,I do enjoy myself so why not going on?
Yes the painting is quite sad,I got so sad and shocked and I hurt for the young girl of 23 who had disappeared and some days later we heard on tv she had been found, dead...
It's a very recent event...I saw her mom on tv, saying that she was imagining the worse but still being hopeful so when the news came I could sort of imagine that amazing pain it must have been for her family,her boyfriend and friends...
On time like this we feel so powerless because what we can do, there will always be people who have psychological troubles and end up raping and killing girls and this is a huge anger that inspires that artwork.
which is why I chose the title: you killed me but I'll come back.
I identify myself,because anytime things like that happen, I remember myself,it could have happen to me,what if I had died at the age of 23,what if my life had been suddenly stolen by a psychopath and I couldn't live all the things I have lived and all the things I have dreamt to live...
I dont know but these girls,they have dreams,they have goals, they made project,they imagine how they'll be in ten years,who could imagine they would have been stolen their life?
This is so fucking unfair.
I'm sure they are still somewhere, ready to haunt these men, these so cruel soul thieves.
I want and need my art to denunce more, to be more committed to all the things I believe in,to all the thing that have to be remembered...
Well I hope everyone is ready for a good and restful weekend!