Rinse & Soar

Thank Goddess I didn't blog on thursday, was feeling like shit!





I was crying and took pictures to use this as therapy.
I cry useful :D ahah





that one is called rinse and soar and it's my fav of the sad series.







so I'm back from Disneyland Paris, yes guys haven't been to California though it would have been so great!!!

It was a real nice trip though we had to wake up early & go to bed late :D
I was drained!
But we laughed and enjoyed ourselves very much:-)
you can see more pictures at my flickr but hey no artsy ones,just snapshots, I think we had better things to do that think how to take a real good pictures:P

It was really cool to let go and forget worries,just have fun:)
I also bought myself a so cool Nightmare before xmas hoody and tshirt ( ok that was not a good idea for my money worries but they can go to hell! I wanted fun and I can treat myself once in a while!!! :P)

I look like a 16 years old rebel teen wearing these mwhahahaha but I love it!!
^_^

yes I'm sort of a Tim Burton's fan, I love his work much:)







this for Illustration Friday
Inspiration are Tori amos mixed with an interpretation of tricks or treats in a larger sense:-)
Because I know Life's tricks:P

in the background it is written: Give me life give me pain give me myself again
as a reference to another tori song;)
and the title : just give me sugar (from the sugar song)

yeeah give me sugar ^______^

I love the colors in this painting,used to be my fav kind of palette because it's gothic full of poetic moving melancholly

but this painting is not melanchollic!
in the heart it's written:
Tricks or Treats Of Life
on the left: solitude,distance, pain,mood swings,rainy days...
on the right: You,you, you, you, you... all the you's I love:-)


on the jack in the box it's written unpredicted bliss
we never know what will come out of the box ;)

that makes me think of the so cute forest gump quote:

"life's like a chocolate box,we never know what we'll come across"
I love it when seb says this quote :D sooo cute ^__^

I would say:

Life is like a jack in the box unpredictible scary whimsey and colorful!

mich from at virtual circleasked us this question:

Can you accept a happy life?

I think it's a very serious and interesting question a lot of people should stop and ask themselves for real.

Because many makes the same choice,same mistakes,they don't come out of the vicious circle or don't attempt to break the habits and try to evolve try to dare and change!

I know what it is because I have been there.

I have asked myself if I could handle a happy life and I think I have found myself answering no much more than why not;)


I think I had that big fear of Bliss, or rather a boring happiness, all planned, he loves me I love him, routine, babies,life,jobs, lalala

I was scared of routine, of the same, of belonging,of being like them or rejecting something
But finally I did not reject anything
I could find a way to sort of belong and also be myself, different and another kind of outsider ^__^


so now Yes I can accept a Happy life!
I most of the time feel blessed to be alive and loved for who I am.
I feel blessed to be the witness of beauty in humanity, for feeling empathy, for being able to share and inspire other lovely souls.

It's big ,all this has big meaning to me!

I've just had a big low and yes I can cry but I really always love this life!
I would not change it at all.
I am constantly learning and growing and I know sometimes I'm struggling and sometimes I want to give up give in and I feel stuck or blah verging hopelessness
but I still stand up
chin up

Hey that does not mean you don't need to hug me and solace me anytime I cry and feel so bad okay:P
But yes I know it'll always get better, everything is moving, a new shape, a new color, depending on the light, on the seasons ,the mood and so forth...


Have I totally healed my Past?
I don't know is my only sincere answer.

psychanalyse would be good if I could afford it.
but art therapy is the best for me right now:-)
"
Hold your own cup high toward the waters of life and dare to fill it completely.

Imagine the possibility of unlimited love, joy, and wisdom pouring into your heart.

This may be it time for spiritual initiation or purification in your life.

Believe in miracles, and follow your dreams.
"says Mich

I love this. I believe in this.
I think as seasonal beings we need to let our leaves shed to grow new branches and new buds for new flowers...
there is still so much more Joy to come!

We cannot constantly feel BIG passion, enthusiasm, Bliss just because it demands quite a lot of energy,wisdom and self control because yes Bliss makes the emotional souls feel very moved...like sometimes it's too much!

I hate it when I say so.
but I just utter it innocently.
"it's too much...do I deserve this?"

ok next time I feel a wave of wonderful bliss I will just let it drown me whole ^__^
after all it's never too much when it's made of honesty & soul beauty.

I'm so ready for my new life to begin!
My wish is only this then!
Bring it on!
make it happen!
we're struggling for this!hoping for this!searching for this!

we need a new apartment asap, we need a secure cool graphist employment for seb and maybe a daily job for me as I'll begin my own art business.
we need to think of less money worries so we can begin to think:
Hey why not trying for a baby today ^____^

yessss I'm scared of pregnancy but I see myself, this yearning to love and take care of others

I often see myself listening to others, trying to cheer them up,sending good energies,being of little help,sending smiles,reading,supporting...

I don't do this for recognition.
I don't do this to have a better image of me.
I sometimes think I do this to serve God/Goddess in a way but I'm not religious & it sounds ridiculous for me who haven t been baptised and all.

so I guess I do this because I am a mother.
It's inside of me.
It's one my reasons to live in a way, well it gives sense to things to me, the sharing, the connecting, the understanding...
I love to see that in others too,it warms my heart.





and Marylin Manson version ^_^