Metamorphosis or just evolution of inside glowing worms?

Once upon a time,
I dreamt I was a butterfly...
Suddenly I awoke...
Now, I do not know whether I was then
a man dreaming I was a butterfly,
or whether I am now a butterfly
dreaming that I am a man.

Chuang Tzu (c.360 BC - c. 275 BC)

Mich post :
Here at virtual circle

inspired me to write, here is her question:

As you emerge from your cocoon of transformation
note your true colours. What is happening in your life right now?

I feel it's kind of weird,too many things are happening in my life right now and nothing at the same time.

I mean I receive so much from this life, I do give a lot too but sometimes I feel it's not enough.
When I think too much about society,my guilt of not making a wages, future,lack of money,seb who still hasn't found a job and our apartment search that is fruitless...

I truly wonder what tomorrow will bring for me for us...
sighs...

I know it's not as if I weren't doing anything, I'm on project, I share and promote my work, hopefully I will have comissionned, contracts and new projects!
I try to find the people to work with.


I don't think I'm the butterfly coming out of cocoon.
I feel I'm rather on a path of growth and evolution not a real transformation in the sense, that getting out of cocoon was the end of Depression.
This is where I decided to live and it was in 2005/2006...

yet I can't deny 2007 was a year of evolution, I am myself more than ever & it's a real comfort to express, to stop hiding, stop being so mistrustful, stop rejecting...

I am at peace in a way.
I know what I want, I just know it gets a little tougher when it comes about society and making money.

but yes I know all the things I want to do.

I am united, connected to others,open minded and aware, ready to listen and hear others.
I want to bring understanding and share my experiences.

all the new things I have been doing lately:

-Photography
-Photoshop

this taught me a lot,showed me potentials and kind of reassured me that I could do great things if I wanted to.
I used to repeat ok photoshop is too complicated for me and this summer I just decided to jump into it:-)

Photography helped me meet and be aware of my socialite self
I may be a loner for years and love it, that doesn't mean I can't talk and be friendly with others.

So for my photo sesssions I have met people:



Stéphanie, a very cute fairy.



then Mady and cassandre, two lovely sisters:







lately I also met Marie Laure, pictures have to be retouched, but anyways I am so busy I still have pictures to retouch of stephanie, Mady and cassandre and now Marie laure :)



too much and too little time on the computer as right now we only have one computer, the other broke.

I also met Isabelle



She is a new mixed media artist who lives nearby( about 45 min or so)
we had our arguement and misunderstandings at first but we've found a way to get along and make our friendship work :)

she kinly agrees to pose for me ^_^ it was nice
she also shared with me her tips to create a mixed media house



this is the first part of it, I have only done the structure of the building with Isabelle, now have to decorate each parts;)
It is much fun, thank you Isa for sharing with me







she also offered me all these cuteness, she knew I loved owls so she put one on the scrap page and she sewed one for me, so lovely!
I was super happy ^____^

you can see Isa's work there:

HERE
she is beginning in mixed media and your kind comments will be welcome ^_^

Oh and yesterday at her blog there was some kind of comments, the kind of comments we of course should ignore but I want to come back on it a little for those who get hurt by these people.


The one who deliberatly need to shit on your Bliss because it prevents them from breathing, I guess frustrations, envy and jealousy chocke these poor souls.

sighs.

I find it hard to understand sometimes why people need to be negative?
you take pictures of yourself, you are narcissistic and basta!
you are happy to share pictures of you because for once you think you don't look too bad and you are megalo
burn the witch!

It's so tiring!
I mean, ignore this guys!
you have the right to be beautiful and show it ,acknowledge it
who says you couldn't enjoy feeling pretty?
who says it was bad to love oneself?

I laugh at this in my last vlog when I talk about my painting" they will hate you for your beauty and your bliss"
I laugh when I say the word narcissistic because I won't deny that I am ;P

It's so good to love oneself,it's the key to balance, to loving others, to being peaceful and at ease, to feel you belong, you have things to give because you know you are unique.

I wish I had more time to write about this. about everything but have to do chores :(((
what a life!


another pics of Isa



my Mayu and I :)
she makes me feel so fine :)




I am feeling rather like this today, kind of melancholly,tired,moody,worried,stressed...

anxiety was back a little lately.
I'm sometimes afraid of the choices I make.

I will talk art a little more if I can. I need to blog, I'm feeling frustrated of this lack of time.
My feet are frozen cold, I hate the cold!

I'm quarelling a lot with seb since we have two cats which is not fun at all:P

I love him he loves me but we aren't agree and it doesn't work when he always wants to be right :P

well the sky is so white,it doesn't help
I need to finish my mixed media house ,send packages to some girls, and I do feel bad because I am late, so sorry Tia, you must think I'm fucking unreliable :P

I'm just really busy,sincerely and in spite of this I still do offer a lot of my time to others so I'm doing well :P

free hugs to anyone who wants, I need them too ahah