self portraits creative fun time

I'm glad I have been featured at Desire to Inspire

OOh it's raining!! I was waiting for that:)
the so warm weather arrived all of a sudden and I can hardly breathe!
my weekend was nice at my parents, got lots of emails and some letters & packages which made me smile( thank you again Chantal;)







I've taken lots of self portraits, but it's per phases you know:)
more to see at my flickr:)

I've made ear rings with buddha's heads so spiritual and pretty:)


I'm feeling fine but tired due to the weather and should write a to do list because I'm getting really busy once again...

I'm dreaming of holidays to the beach,just hearing the waves, gently crashing down


As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world… as in being able to remake ourselves.
-Mahatma Gandhi

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.this is to have succeeded.(Emerson)

this one makes me want to make art with it...I just love quotes, always such an inspiring echoes in the depths of my inner worlds...

To postpone Death, Live & Love now...

This is what I wrote for the dialog friday at create a connection, if you don't know create a connection, go have a look, it's a beautiful place to interact with beautiful creative and kind souls!



I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.
Anais Nin

We always say that life is short, times flies and all these things to remember it's Time Now ,here & now to enjoy ourself, to take risk, to say we love, to love, to live the moment in spite of the way we can look, in spite of what others will say or think...

I love that quote by Anais nin.
It reminds me my path, the way I live , the way I always cancel death, the way I may talk about it in art but to say, go catch me, I am way too alive for you!

I am amongst the silly dreamers who wants to live forever ;)
I always want to live above life and to remember this is a Real Luck to be Alive!

Some people are struggling for their life, for their health, some are fighting for freedom...
I feel I have to remind myself each time this blessing of being alive, of breathing, of having health, friends, family & a brain to think, a soul to dream...

I postpone death by Loving deeply, by sharing my soul, and living in the offering of me, pieces of me, for the ones who want, who have something to take, to feel understood and less alone...
I postpone death by poetizing existence( I have this blessing to see the world of the unseen and to not stop on the surface, I always dig deeper and sometimes I guess it makes people feel weird when I speak 'familiarly' to them because I want to believe we can all be brothers and sisters), making art, loving with passion like in fairy tales! art ,thinking and writing poetry is a big part of my inner life, I scatter the inner garden of all my dreams in the real world, I make it look real to me, it feels so good!
I am very thankful to have dared to go this artist's path, because I could have chosen to give up, to choose the wrong and never LIVE the real me, inside, let her wither and die...
and I know I still have a lot to do for my artist's path if I want it really and to be a full time artist who can really handle a living with her art.

I also love dressing up like a fae child, to entertain myself, to feel my youth and eccentricities are still there and I am so alive, I can still swirl in my fairy skirt even if I am already 28 I can sing and dance if I want to ^_^
I free my mind, I accept and tolerate my silly eccentricities, I dont ever refrain myself from being me because of the proprieties?(good manners?)
I just let go, I speak loud if I want to, I tell the truth, what I think
I keep being wildly spontaneous, even if I know I surely look ridiculous sometimes :)
but whatever :)
I mean ridicule hasn t ever killed anyone has it?

I think to postpone death of any kind, as it can be metaphorical if we look deeper underneath...
I let my inner fae child live and speak her mind!
I forget my age and other's eyes, I love and I am real.
This is maybe the best freedom I have ever found.

Taking risk is also very important, because don't we then feel more alive?
when we give up , when we abandon ourselves , because it's too late, we're too old for this and that and nobody cares after all...all these things make death win, and take pieces of our breathing spirit!
so I take risk to show who I am, to love and to lose the ones I cherish, though losing them because they have better things to do is much easier than because it's their time :(

I always think about death , strangely enough when we see the life and childhood smiling melodies of my art, but death is the last door, and I'll never be ready for that!
so I have to live and love now, more and more!
I also remind myself not to dwell too much in the egocentric laments whenever I feel down...I open myself, I share my worries and sadness with my dear friends, because it's also a way to postpone death, we often think we might bore them to death, we might look so childhish to be sad for fuss, but our friends feel touched when we confide, it shows we trust and value their friendship!
It shows we can count on them!We believe in the light they can scatter in our dark gardens.

I also have postpone death by suffering and making mistakes a lot in the Past, I needed that to learn, to feel passion of life...I remember the sad past and maybe finally all these things were just a need of Love, not a real wanting to die and give up, by suffering I clang to what was real and essential to me.

I am so happy to be alive, so tell me creative souls out there how do you postpone death? do you LIve/love enough each day?
do you sometimes feel you've lost too much of your time in procrastination, self doubt, lack of self esteem, fear of daring?

you can answer here, or if you are inspired to write a novel about it ;) ;) write at your blog and put the static link of your post here, I'll be happy to read your thoughts, thanks for taking part and reading:)

Many blessings and a beautiful weekend to everyone!

and here my latest artworks:


title: Where is my hurt?
23x31cm on watercolor paper


a handmade postcard(for a friend)


15x21cm(for a friend)

(for a friend)




for a wonderful art trade with a fairy:)


for the one art squared a day series( I am trying to finish this collection,then I'll do something different)
title: Whenever I miss her




title: Inner Garden Beauty
24x32cm on watercolor paper
the words say:in her soul inside her heart, wounds and flowers
and just above the window: first day (all words in French)



title: Athena's Whispers
23x31cm on watercolor paper
the words say: a strong friend in you

Athena is the Goddess of Friendship(not only) and she shows the limitlessness of what a smart & creative woman can do...

and now some pictures I've had fun to take last week:














my sebastien, alias, Pampe Le Mousse ^_^

Inside War vs Inner Peace ( We need both to learn to love to fly)

my inside war, my doubts, my deep anger...
we had promised ourselves never to abandon us again, never to give in never to give up
we promised never to Judge again...and we keep doing it,hurting ourselves...





this one cheered me up, I needed sweetness
I love sugar!! :-)



This can a confusing artwork due to the title, but I love "confusing" others ;)
eheh

In fact it was inspired by a letter of a friend who wrote a sentence that echoes to reminiscence of an old land, mine perhaps?
she wrote she did not want to live, reaching a lack of taste, lack of passion for life, lack of strength
I was so moved...

Then the quote by A.Camus
"there is no Love of life without Despair of life"

and this is so true
We reach the rock bottom, we love so much, it aches
the beauty of this life, giving, wanting to be useful, diving and forgetting ourselves in the charms of abnegation, shedding ourselves way too thin too much...
unable to say no.
We need to be needed
this devotion linked to this amazing love for life can lead us to the despair...

Because maybe there is no Glory for the devoted
Of course there is the Pay it forward, I believe in that but not always
I also can see selfishness, egocentrisme, self centeredness

and why wouldn't we be selfish?
We have the right to want something back?
we are human.

We need to be seen and loved too. we need higher understanding.

so this painting is not about " life is a bitch" at all ^_^
I am not that girl anymore ahah, thanks Goddess!




the title for this one is inspired by tori amos song, so sad so angry...
it's sad to see our beloved ones slowly fade away because things are not that easy to handle always...



this echoes the inside war.
still flowers are growing in spite of the greyish skies
but of course without rain there is no flowery gardens...naive but true ;)




this is made as a potential collage trade for Helene
fee un voeu

this charming creative fairy sister of name, gently posted kind words on my collages and wanted to buy some, which truly made my day
But then being touched by her elegant and childish fantasy world I decided to have an art trade with her :)

It is for me an honour, because I really love the beauty she makes and because it's so different from me, it is so marvelous, such a luck and existing to have these opportunities!
I am lucky and I know that!
It is also very reassuring in time of doubts and inside wars to be cheered up by kind strangers:)

like signs of angels and fairies...




and here it is me, shyly playing at photoshop, ahah I'll never be a digital artist, no patience for this thing
It was just for fun, to try :-)

Now Mich ask us this
"What do you fill your cup with each day?

Now is the time to explore this esoteric question. Seal the cracks in your own cosmic vessel so that you may soothe your soul and revitalise your life force."

I will make it short though I'd love to write and think again ^_^but I have an impatient love and the harmony is broken due to having just one computer now till next week maybe?( we made a deal but I can't say more)
so he will be mad if I spend an hour more on the computer when he has to work on it ;oP

so I feel my cup with:

- thinking: may it medidating, vizualising positive energies to feel better,sharing lights for others...there is no day without me diving in the core of my mind to dig some gem and pebbles and anything to pave my bridge through this existence...

-art of course, even when I dont create anything, I get inspire, I think about what to do next and the colors and ideas dance in my head, I know I can do something sometimes I get stuck with bad vibrations and low self esteem...

-Inspiration..quotes, wisdom, reading others, wandering on internet, being touched inspired, contemplating the beauty of humanity,of this Earth,traveling through mind or virtually...

-positive energies, if it's not mine I am so lucky to have luminous soul sister and magical witches of Light around me, who are inspiring women, they have the power to really spread their positive energies, I can feel it in my work,in the way I grow/evolve and in the sharing. It is beautiful,soothing, I thank you for this!

-writing, may it be just a word, a small poems, a letter,a comment here and there, writing is a way to reconnect to the self and to others, to build a strong self, to be true and naked to dare to be wrong and just be ourselves with no gloss no pretense
a deep deliverance...I need that
It's important and relieving to say it all...nevermind if it's sappy bullshit sometimes or not sugar coated words...
Denial and keeping it all to ourselves is self emprisonment.

- music, the melodies of Nature, birds, the humming of trees,the rain, or of course any and each of my cds, I also enjoy singing,a way to let go, to disconnect and to free my mind :-)

there would surely be more to write, but for now it'll be enough
Beautiful weekend to everyone, may you be fine and feel loved***

Photo thursday: I spy

create a connection, thursday photo challenge
Katherine asks us to take a picture with any and everything we could find around us so I have had fun gathering some lovely things in the messy sanctuary of mine ^_^

so there is:

- a small journal in which I write poetry, it is a gift from dearest Jen and means so much to me! I love it, a sentimental gift ^_^

-charms and metal embellishments that I adore using in my artwork but as it's expensive hum I m rather collecting them for months and using them rarely;)
I have a stupid fear since childhood: to lack of things I love.
the same for friends, to lose, to have less, less of them...I am like this for everything
so I try little by little to heal this, using things...i try not to care, not to worry...because it is silly,material, I know it costs money but if I have bought it it s better using it no??o_O

this is why I collect stickers and kawaii letter stationnery
a sheet and envie of each in a box, I use the rest but still rarely
I am weird or someone does the same???

I think I am the same for make up products, I need to take care of this obsession!
that's maybe why I buy books and don't read them, how silly I am...
the fear of ends again?

ok let's go back to the picture will you?

- there is a green pen offered by my father for my 15th birthday, I remember not enjoying much the color of it, but when I looked at the price( yes ashamed but that is me, I can not hide the true me, I love that to see the price people pay for me, I know it's sick but it belongs to my childhood story maybe, I dont know...)I was kind of shock, it is so silly to pay an expensive price for just a pen???o_O
but that is really something I love in my Father, he is so generous, seems not to care about money just love to please the ones he loves!
He is so like his mother! and I loved her so much :)

so this pen has a story, a soul,so many memories
he was with me for my baccalaureat I am quite sure!
I took places to other exams with it, I travel with it
etc
- then there is hello kitty :-) love cute things
- a letter because there is always a letter somewhere in the room, ready to be replied to, this one is so beautiful, creative,a real surprise to me, let's be honest I rarely receive that kind of letter...I don't want to judge a book by its cover but honestly fairysoul can be seen and felt in such letters!
that's what I like!

- a deck of fairy divinatory cards
- ear rings
-my engagement ring
-swaroski rhinestones ,love them <3
-a bird plush, a fairy wren, offered by an Australian friend whom I haven t heard of in a while now? where are you?
-goddess knowledge cards offered by Chantal la fée:-)
-a beautiful pink flower barrette
-paint
-prima flowers
-glitter(we all need some fairy dust here and there)
-a mixed media magazine, one of the first I bought at ebay, will surely buy some
I would like to get a year subscription will ask santa claus, but well dont know,it s a lot of money and well I am not sure I would have time to read it ;o)
I still haven't yet read the 3 I have now so... ;)that's just me!!
- a vintage photo

well for more, have a look at the picture ,click and read the notes:)

PLEASE feel free to take part to this dialog day I have done:
dialog day by me

Blessings***

obstacles vs hopes/smiles vs rain

Oh Goddess!!

The harmony we've waited time to create and taken care of as just been destroyed!
We tried to find a balance a way to avoid arguements and all of a sudden the war for computer has come back ^_^

well I am totally joking about it, because I need to laugh and cultivate some humour, some fun, some positive energies to grow flowers of Hopes in our garden ;)

Yes my Pc crashed! what a bad @@@@%%% luck, I mean, seb got rejected for many jobs now, and the results of the tests are negative so he is not selected
Everything keep going the wrong way, obstacles,over obstacles
too many @@@@@¨¨¨¨closed doors
I am getting frustrated and angry at all this

the thing that reassure me and make me want to keep thinking positive is that we are fighting this adversity together,not always because we dont live it the same ways and of course it has created tensions, but right now, we are in this together.

& the pc crashed so we fought to be the one on internet °____° kidding
No we really try to be fine!

A solution is coming our way so I have to remain positive!

But the job thing is depressing, everything is depressing
even my business, because of all these obstacles and the @@@@%%%% lack of money...
was I a dreamer? where is the passion and trust gone?

I dont know.
Too much anger maybe.

It is just so difficult in France to live as an artist, all the formalities, all the taxes and things like that, it is very discouraging...

I am thinking future, close future, I can't handle the idea of not being pregnant,not having my first child next year, I try to but the more I think about the more I think it still keeps leading my life to nowhere...

I am fine with solitude but on some days everything collapse or just slowing get stuck, paralyzed, I see everything frozen,like dead, everything grey and dreary, just maybe like the weather

But I dont complain on the weather, I kinda like the rain, maybe I prefer the rain to the very very warm weather when you are melting, sweating & can't sleep at all!

we have this month and august to find solutions, to find a way...

I know seb might have to take another kind of job if he cannot find something in graphism and webdesigning

but really I know it won't be great, I can't see our life this way!
this idea is just awful
but yes I know I am quite aware nowadays in France many people do boring jobs that they are not interested in at all, just because we have to be sensible and take what there is, not be too demanding and hard to please

that sucks!

well I did not want to write a boring lamenting entries ;oP

I mean I am fine I am lucky I am healthy and seb is and my funny Takun is ^_^

Here is My G list:

1) Gratefulness: because it is important to value this, to thank the dear ones , to acknowledge our luck,our beauty etc, there are many reasons to be beautiful to be good to keep hoping and sharing

2)Garden, I love the place, mystic, religious, spiritual, garden of knowledge,of the soul,of dreams, of childhood memories etc
I always think that when you have a real bond to a person you can feel the grass you can dare to walk barefooted you can feel home in certain place, I love that!
I really love to be invited in a soul garden, I think it's the only way to make true friends with time, to keep things long lasting and growing,blooming ;)

3)girl, pretty word, pretty world, I love girls, I love my sisters, I try to be understanding and helpful in my way, I hope to have a baby girl...some people often thinks it s just to play like with a doll, but it's just to play, I really want that mother and daughter special bond! it means a lot to me!
I can see it, I am sure it is as beautiful as I wish :)call me idealistic dreamer :oP

4)galaxies, the space, the univers fascinates me and scares me
what is happening elsewhere in the world?
are we alone? do you think?


5)grace, I love the word I always wanted to be graceful when I was dancing, but oh my ;oP
what is grace? moments of full of grace, bliss, something subtle and magic, bewitching:)

6)gullible, I think some naivety is sweet, really,touching, but I hardly bear people who take advantage of the gullible girls who are too sweet and lovely... I want to think that what goes around comes around, but using people,slaining naivety that way,with betrayal and lies it is so ugly, so cruel!

7)grumpy, a way to describe me sometimes ;-) especially in the morning:o)
or around smokers or when I notice lack of respect by others

8)gravity...as a metaphore high joys that collapse, everything always attracted to the ground...whatever we do we can't fly but in a dream so we try to savour the time when we can float a little above the ground...I love studying gravity when I do yoga, lying down
anytime you feel truly bad and depressed just lay down on the floor, feel the gravity the attraction, the heavyness of the body, and let go, let all the negative emotions fall downer and downer...It makes the body feel lighter somehow, and it may look weird to lay down in the living room for instance but it's nice to do weird things sometimes,to be unsual...

9)General Joy by tori amos

General joy I know I know
You'll take me there -
Where your boys were left behind

General joy it seems you need
A soldier girl -
Now "they" have liberty gagged

By boat by tram by motorbus
Could it be the fates are protecting us
From the hawks that have stolen the bird from the sky

And I know
You will always love sorrow
Is that why
You gave her dress to happiness?
'Cause it matches her eyes
When she cries

General joy it seems
You don't love your bride
Generally
You're friends but she is not the love of your life

To dye to perm to change your hair or your wife
The possibilities are there
And it's time for you to decide

General joy I know I know
You'll take me there -
But you'll need strength
From within
General joy it seems you need
A soldier girl -
And a willing coalition

By boat by tram by motorbus
Could it be the hawks are protecting us
From the men who have now assumed their name


love that song:-)
10)gem I love lots of them, very light amethyste,amber,citrin,moon stone( not sure it s called that way)

11)giving
12)glitter
13)glimpse
14)glow
15)guide(spiritual ones)

anyways whatever I am fine so do not worry, I just need to feel positive not to give up...

Sebastien's blog

http://pampelemousse.blogspot.com/

hey friends! if you have a moment, feel free to have a look at my love's blog and say hi!
he is doing so many funny cute things and seems to be popular with the girls ahah ;)
he is trying to keep a commitment to illustration friday so that he will be motivated to work more for himself:)

blessings, sweet dreams***

Poetry comfort ,crappy paintings and the power of fairytales ^_^

I close my soul mirrors & tuck myself in with thoughts of you
In the Daylight I tiptoe towards your dreams
Can you sense it can you see me
My friend my sister my Twin of the Soul
Let's walk in the forest of words where our heart beat at the same rythme
Let's dance in Oceans of silky embrace & true sharing
where we don't need to speak we smile as we get in this world of us
We understand one another as we fold our wings as we shed our 'self'
We grasp the meaning of each dots & we learn the bliss of sighs
And we patiently wait for more
More waves more swirls more gems more pearls
(...)
***********************

May I utter the words may I
because the bird in my head swirls and sings
songs for thee chirping silly melodies
you fill my heart with melted stars
like a long time lost twin you grab the pieces
Of a healing soul unison & higher understanding
All I can hear is a whispered " I don't know why I don't know why"
and the echoes flies back to me " because... because..."
what if I'm wrong what if I hurt anew
All I can say is that I'll be grateful to have met such a wonderful you



***********************


I wanted to say I'll show you my awful paintings and a fairy collage but well some person seem to like them, anyways I dont like the two paintings though the idea was interesting it feels uncomplete and awfully awkward just like me:oP
everything is available so let me know if you are interested!