fire baptism always cleanse and refine my soul

Release

Helen, had I known yesterday
That you could dishcare the ache
Out of the wound,
Had I know yesterday you could take
The turgid electric ache of away,
Drink it up in the ground
Of your soft white body, as lightning
Is drunk from an agonised sky by the earth,
I should have hated you, Helen.

But since my limbs gushed full of fire,
Since from out of my blood and bone
Poured a heavy flame
To you, earth of my atmosphere, stone
Of my steel, lovely white flint of desire,
You have no name,
Earth of my swaying atmosphere,
Substance of my inconsistent breath,
I cannot but cleave to you, Helen.

Since you have drunken up the drear
Death-darkened storme, and death
Is washed from the blue
Of my eyes, I see you beautiful, and dear.
Beautiful, passive and strong, as the breath
Of my yearning blows over you.
I see myself as the winds that hover
Half substanceless, and without grave worth.
But you
Are the earth I hover over.
(D.H Lawrence)



The Appeal

You, Helen, who see the stars
As mistletoe berries burning in a black tree,
You surely, seeing I am a bowl of kisses
Should put your mouth to mine and drink of me.

Helen, you let my kisses steam
Wasteful into the night's black nostrils; drink
Me up, I pray; oh you, who are Night's bacchante,
How can you from my bowl of kisses shrink?
(D.H Lawrence)

sighs, I wish such poems were for me, when I read them I smiled, just like I smile reading Rumi.
All those souls that resonates with my intense need to express the passions inside of me.



On a more serious thing, I want to draw your attention.
We can say whatever we want.
This is not normal that there will be Olympic Games in such a country.

I have of course nothing against China for the beauty, the culture, the people but the politics is unfair,and that oppression of Tibet is unbearable...It's been ages now!
I know our countries dont have the right to interfere in other countries problems, well especially if there is no petrol(laughing ironically)

oh well, it just pisses me off...
I am going to check what I can do, more actions.more showing and awakening the awareness of people around here.
we still can demonstrate and support Tibet with communication of ideas and works.




To all these juggler of words and poetic Souls
Your pages moved me along my shore
Your river of inks and the mutual begging for Encores
The marine depths of this world need gems like yours
How blessed I am petite Nobody Mermaid of writings
Not to be alone in those darkest and coldest streams

I breathe newness in your verbose or enigmatic flows
I pick petals of glow in your words where to write my own stories
I feel humbled everytime you write kindness on my wings
And you all come to me for we're the same Echoes
Of strange aloneness and intellectual yearnings
Thirst for wholeness with shared darkness & dreams



Ange, mes ailes sur les tiennes, défroissées
Esprits découpés dans les mêmes nuages
Mélange de nos désirs qui se sont perdus
Mais l'ange de nos sourires de douleurs aux couleurs perdues
Sait dire que "je t'aime" a toujours le même sens
Aux souvenirs éternels des incandescences
Tant de mots embrassés sur ma peau
Ange,des vagues de toi se perdent encore dans mon cou
Les fantômes de nos âmes aux jours éternelles continuent d'écrire
Dans une autre réalité à la lueurs des soupirs


Angel, my wings on yours,smoothed out
Spirits cuts in the same clouds
Mix of our lost desires
But the angel of our painful smiles with faded colors
Still knows that saying " I love you" keeps the same meaning
To the aeonic reminiscence of our incandescences
So many kissed words on my skin
Angel, waves of you, are still losing themselves along my neck
The ghosts of our soul with eternal daylight keep on writing
In another reality at the gleam of our sighs



Erase all the whys the ones after the others
A pure massacre for the sake of moments of Life
A little peaceful graveyard of question marks before our grins
The glaring of this beautiful new calling
Open the path behind the naked trees
where the banshee was coveting some aching crow
That chose the wisdom of silence over passionate poetry
Not matter how amazing the godawful visions can be
When the doors opens before you you enter or you flee



Then perhaps you'll be allowed to give her another name
But if she gives all her pages where mysteries will still lie




"And Im sucked in by the wonder and Im fucked up by the lies
And I dig a hole to lie in and I build some wings to fly
And I think that I could love you cause you know how to be free
I want you to come walk this world with me.

With the light in our eyes its hard to see
Holding on and on til we believe
With the light in our eyes its hard to see
Im not touched but Im aching to be
I want you to come, I want you to come
I want you to come walk this world with me.

And its burning in our fingers and its burning on the road
And I like the way youre broken and Ill like you when youre old
And I see you in the garden and I feel you plant the seed
I want you to come walk this world with me."
(extract of lyrics by Heather Nova)



Love this song!passionate!

and how beautiful to dream a world trip, crossing oceans, deserts, forest, countries, oh I'd love to do a road trip or walking and taking boats, buses,trains and all around the world, that would be the most nurturing experience...

being away always, always something new to see, no boredom, no habits, everyday new pictures to take, new kind of people to meet, different sunsets/sunrises...
aaah sighs
I'm a Hippie ^______^

desperate sighs...
Life is so very real and I am so into surreal experiences...walking away from all that is just too settled too normal...yet I love comfort.
paradoxes...

I wish I could do something crazy.if only I had the money.
for such a trip I'd need music,blank journals and a good camera.

when I was younger, I could imagine such a trip alone, nowadays with all the things happening to women, raped, beaten, murdered...I would not risk it.


And I am fascinated by the spiritual man
I am humbled by his humble nature
What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate
Someone else to catch this drift
And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred
Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while
The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses
Falling all around...all around
Why are you so petrified of silence
Here can you handle this?

Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines
Or when you think you're gonna die
Or did you long for the next distraction
And all I need know is intellectual intercourse
A soul to dig the hole much deeper
And I have no concept of time other than it is flying
If only I could kill the killer

All I really want is some peace man
a place to find a common ground
And all I really want is a wavelength
All I really want is some comfort
A way to get my hands untied
And all I really want is some justice...

(lyrics by Alanis morrissette)



I m feeling good.saw my parents this weekend which gave me new energies well at least for the soul fatigue:)
my body is still out of order...
but I smile more, this week will not have the same dress than the last, not even the same face.

I am feeling inspired, but mostly for photography and photoshop work.
I have begun a painting last week and no strength to go on later...

Still a month before my moving.

I still have so much to do to handle all of my outter life, when all I take care of and indulge in is my inner life.

I also have many issues, big financial issues, but I have decided to use humour and laugh at it, with pessimistic optimism:)
like you know it could be much worse yes it could ^_____^;;
and well I'm getting used, I am hopeful...I have to be.

Many little things have made me see things clearer though I still need to learn,read and balance my soul and my passionate mind.

I would feel safe...

Received another bday gift today, thank you Chantal:-) it made my day!:))it will teach me a lot...
It's a book about past lives and future lives...





"I would rip you all apart to take the pain you'd feel
And I would kill all my best friends to make this sweet dream real
I would make all your mistakes to try and understand
And if I hated who you are, I still would lick your hands

We're right back here again; I'd kill to be your friend
And die to kiss your skin, and never kiss again
Forsake my name for you; I'd rip my soul in two
And claw off all my skin just to let you in

Give me all your babies' breath and crumpled paper wings
Give me all your sudden death and other silent things
Give me all your broken dreams, your broken heart and home
Give me all your wicked thoughts of breaking someone's bones

I'd be afraid to touch you; I wouldn't want to hurt you
And no one's ever held me quite so close as you are (ahh)
And if you ask me to, I'll do us both for you
And if you hold me tight, I swear I won't be scared to die

I feel alone (la la la la)
I am alone (la la la la)
I've always been (la la la la)
Ohh"

(lyrics by Michal Towber from her first album Sky with stars)

songs like this make me smile as much as Rumi's writing, because it's the most amazing and insane passion of Love.

The one you would not mind burning your wings for.
big sighs...Hopeless romantic...







a fleeting apparition
a missing disparition
A vacancy that has not the same strength to inspire
But a void which made her run in fields of barb wires
Like in her nightmares of the previous night
A springtime meadow where she was running and hurting herself
Searching for meaning when silence is Bliss
oh I miss I miss I miss...



baby phantoms,was it the weather now you're gone
I think of feathers for your soul to rest
in your Amazing Grace
However decadent however the somber clouds in our minds
We are made of these angelic energies
We are made of petals and dust
I won't ask you a thing
I wish I had read more
but now my soul hopes in secret for you
You have touched me
I can't wish I had touched you
May you feel the sincere Blessings of a fallen seraphic witch
Be well Be Blessed Believe in you



And for a nice week end we need a little Happy mood song ^_^
I adore that one, just bought her two jazzy album , I adore them:)))
Music is such a wonderful solace, the best embrace for the soul ever.
no ok words do matters so much.
They hug me tights too and so did my book friends:-)



"Don't need no substances
To get me rolling
Don't need nobody else
Here in my own skin
I'm everything that I want
When I've got this happy feeling "

the lyrics are so right and they awake my free spirit that needs to shed the coal dust of too many walks in the darkest paths...
Oh she is a lovely inspiration really.
It makes me feel like going alone to see and walk barefoot in the sand, twirl in the gentle breeze( well face the fact it's not gentle the wind these days)there would be sun licking my face and I could just feel the harmony inside healed and embraced by the harmony outside.
I would feel safe like I haven't in ages.

The Birthday Witch

Wild Side Stories



I know the last picture can look whatever it can look, I don't care!
Think what you want to think, it was playful, me dancing with that song in my mind:)))
kinda brazen( thoughts provocative(kidding:D)


I wanted to make something cuter more mischievous fae child, but I couldn't do anything as I wanted today...not easy.
I felt rather good in the morning and most of the day.
I tried to clean my brain and every meanders and corners left unsaid and unread for too long.

Take Everything I want you to


The Hills of Doors

and my two latest paintings.



so today was the day of my new birth.
I have to let go many things.
Die in many ways to rebirth in other ways.
I am the question.
And I am my Own answer.

"Dying is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well. I do it so it feels like hell. I do it so it feels real. I guess you could say I've a call. "
Sylvia Plath

It is the very first time of my life I am alone on that day.
But as lonely as I can feel. I was so very touched!
thank you all my friends for your kind words to me, your loveliness, all the comments, the letters, the gifts of the heart I receive!
Ah! truly you don't need to spend money on me, a little of sincere affection is enough:-)
I am really blessed to have you all in my life in spite of the miles.
Friendship has never had it's true beautiful meanings without you in my life, my Blessed Ones!
I love you, thank you being here, for bearing with my soul ,for accepting me,for never judging me too harsh, for loving me for me.
You are the greatest friends I have ever wanted, I am sorry I can not give time to each of you everyday, don't feel forsaken, I do care so much!
I cannot write all of your names, I will forget one and I hate these things, I am so tired and forgetful ahah:)

I am lucky to know you.that is all I know:)
I am feeling very grateful on my birtday and this generates a lot of positive thinking in me, I am coming back to life!
Thank you Ceridwen, what's next? bring it on:)
(got to make a picture about that goddess, we're in touch lately, have things to learn there)

and Darling Jen, this one is for you , I love you too pisces sister, thank you so much for existing in this Great Below:-)

I am feeling better, I feel the process of rebirth, slow but it is coming and my books and friends do help me see the Light with more trust and clarity.
I smile at my darkness and nonsense.

Thank Goddess I am still alive!

I have always known that negative energies make you go downstairs in your own little hell, deeper and deeper.

Sometimes I see how I can spend hours or weekends complaining and nurturing all these bad vibes in me and it leads to physical pain.





and I still can see the light, always, more for others sometimes than for me and God that pisses me off about me.



I got an awful migraine again...ok now it's every weekend, not good at all.
But anxiety and insomnia don't help me much, I need to do some meditation and rest a lot today.
I also need to drink a lot more like my dear friends always tell me, so adorable they are to care about me.
One in me says " so what?are you wearing that funny mask again? to the hell with your fucking abnegations and all the crap that they hide!"



I am not a dark soul.
I have darkness in me like everyone do...We have to be careful not to label ourselves with our sensations and emotions because we do reduce our being and all the things we can be/become.
I am full of springtime too...







I love payne's grey color, so deep,so interesting to work with.
My energies are renewed everytime I buy painting and books and I did this weekend.
Sure I felt a little guilt because we are rather broke and I shouldn't spend money but these books they will help me.
It's funny because I know myself, I bought them to help others first, that's insane,that's sick really!
I need them for me too!
I have migraine, a bit of vertigo still and mood swings...

but the moving is a stressful time.
I will have to pack things alone.
I don't have the energy for it but you know it's true the less you do the lower your energies get.

I have to know what to do for 6 weeks alone.
next weekend my sebastien won't come back.
This means, me alone, my bday alone, Yay!
Everything is perfect in the most beautiful world:)
I am just laughing at this.
It's not as if I truly was a wreck. I need to shake myself to find some positive energies back!
What would you tell a friend if I was not me Helene?



I have to organize myself better, to stress less, what will come will come, just let it go let it bleed, I cannot "control" everything, I have to allow the unexpected possibilities, after all it won't necessarily be bad.

I have two other paintings to finish & then I'll show them.
I will just rest,read,meditate and have a nap if I need to, I really hardly slept last night.

wish I had more interesting to share but no energy today.I just can't wait to begin my New Life, I am not meant for staying alone for hours,days & nights and weeks in waiting room, I'm kinda claustrophobic...
I will feel better and recover from this night of suffering along the day, don't ask too much from me today...

Take a closer look...

"Digital Ghost"

It started as a joke
Just one of my larks to see
If somehow I could reach you so

I swam into your shores
Through an open window
Only to find you all alone

Curled up with machines
Now it seems you're slipping
Out of the land of the living

Just take a closer look
Take a closer look
At what it is that's really haunting you

I have to trust you'll know
This digital ghost
But I fear there's only so much time
'cause the you I knew is fading away

Hands lay them on my keys
Let me play you again
I am not immune to your net

Find me there in it
I won't go even if in
Your heart only beats ones and O's

Switch you on my friend
Pull you from that rip current
But only you can fight against this

Take a closer look
Just take a closer look
At what it is that's really haunting you

I have to trust you'll know
This digital ghost
But I fear there's only so much time
'cause the you I knew is fading away

Fading
Fading
Away
(tori amos " digital ghost)





Today I have no words for I'd better not write my thoughts nor even think them so I am using tori amos's words and my pictures.
as they say images are worth a thousands words...well so to speak...

I have cleaned the apartment which is like cleaning my head, so yes I have to clean my inside attic,cleaning,washing,tidying, finding back what's been lost in the clutter(that's me yes!)but you all know the real good feeling after early Springtime cleaning, a big relief!I will find my real self and my smile back in the mess.
I love to think positive in spite of this, to think I may have given my smile to another one so I have taken their sorrow or whatever it was.
call me sick but really if you smile now I wouldn't ask to give it back to me...
whatever...nevermind...

Solitary Bride of Words

Self-inflicted emotionally tortured soulmate of an e-book

I am your most deliciously rotten bride of twisted writings
You have built a miserable bridge of words and thought between our souls
I won't have to wait for the end if there's no beginning
And God I love this impression
mon petit déjà-vu I don't want to taste our graveyard
So please never cover my skin with flowers
My vital center throbs under your white thoughts lost in dark space
Don't get too close don't take my hand
Don't ever dare to write with your blood on my skin
I gasp at our wonderful closing-off
We will never miss one another
ah twirl with that blind dead serious liar



Bride of words

Bribe Anubis my lonesome traveler, celestial tramp
I'll be your aeonian bride and we'll write with the ink of our souls
the ink of our tears, the blood we breathe ,our book of Dreams(...)

Today I'm not feeling so well, closer to my surely lonely bday...a week... I can hear the tick tock

"I cant explain the secrets
even to those who can hear them
they're inside of me like gut feelins
but I just can't put my finger on " this is it"

(rumi)

I miss the art of writing letters.
I miss having persons who were interesting enough to exchange letters with me
yes that sounds so haughty
I am not
who knows me know I am not haughty and yet I can sound like this many times just because well I am in touched with my innermost self most every second and I know what I have to offer so I can just allow myself to be enraptured or nothing at all.

yes with age I'm just getting even more demanding.

Yesterday I sort of contented myself with little and I got awfully surprised how people could be bitter and agressive.
so strange.
I chatted with some guy...
I think that man just wanted to hurt my feelings because it was easy to confuse me at that right moment and on that day. I don't know at all.
It's been a while I haven't met that kind of bitterness that want to make me think how wrong I am and how pathetic I am.
I still stand for my goals and my opinions. It is okay.
What is strange is that it mostly happens in French, when I speak English I hardly get agressive feedbacks or attitude by my American friends or friends from other countries who speak English.

I was just getting used to feel respected and at peace with men.

but I can't deny how emotional I am, and how my sensitivity can still be reached by complete stranger, that's an issue I have to deal with, to protect myself better.
but I am also bored with my past mistrustful distant self.

I have been so very distant from men for years.
I only wanted sisters as like minded companions.
I didn't hate them but I had stop thinking they had something to offer to me and yet we learn from differences and similarities.

I felt as I had my sébastien why on Earth making friends with men?

oh and many of them were really boring when they were not agressive to me.
I know they saw things in me they could not bear.
Perhaps I am the kind of woman that brainless men feel like insulting because that s all they can do to me to reach me.

we cannot please everyone...and I never want to!
But it makes me think that it's still interesting to listen to our Enemy,it s not just a quote, we have to be careful not to become what they are, show,do...
I don't want to let anger take advantage of this to control me and I dont want to be spiteful because someone just want to tell me what they see of me that is not me.

this is just absurd.

My own brain is to me the most unaccountable of machinery - always buzzing, humming, soaring roaring diving, and then buried in mud. And why?

...what's this passion for?(virgina woolf)

I have to write or I can't breathe.
I have to write any ,everything or I'm going to think or cry.

I am utterly exhausted today.such a weekend.full of physical pain.
I'm a highly sensitive woman surely my lot!
Well I'd smile a lot more if it was only my body though...

"It is within you that divine lives"(joseph campbell)



Something is wrong

Behind a glass door I suffocate emerging from a world I needed to leave kneeling for a world I need to live...
The scent of a hurricane folded in my soul
No no don't look not right now
It's better for your own sake to keep your eyes wide closed
No mere listening allowed ,please hear
deeper deeper dip her
In the Carnival Ocean of dancing shadows
She could be water as long as it's for the sake of words the sake of art
To savor a neverending drowning
She could eat feathers to nurture the Muse
Perhaps it was all behind that curtain
The bleeding truth of flower obsession and sugary compulsions
On the lips your tongue of another poetic language
I am not the Only one no she is screaming there in my head
Her head bends to hear the sky songs but nothing comes
I want to come closer to write in heavens lies of eternity
Something is wrong
Nothing lasts
we are all books of dusty cells in need of touch
Don't deny the leather
Old books young souls we are yearning for depths
But something is wrong in these impermanent flames & lusty shadows(...)

well sure perhaps...It depends on the day,we've got Goddesses and succubes inside, yes some demons too...
ah shadow waltz, can you ask me to dance once more, especially when I feel so alone.



Nothing at all I am just nothing


"I am utterly insignificant " she sighed
And everything was so real, cutting, a moment of acute lucidity.
Even the air entering her lungs made it all bleed inside.
How suffocating the hours could be at times.
Everything was going on, orbiting their existence around their own little sweet nothingness.
Everyone screaming " mine! mine! just give me mine!"
They all wanted their slice of void the divine absence...
It remaint in her mind that night how easy and so delicate it would be...
"Oh my oblivion..." she sighed
She didn't see the river she saw the key & when she closed her eyes she could sense that enthralling crossing of door, the beauty of the pain, the scent of oblivion & everything would disapear, she would take it all away with her inside her
"oh my oblivion sometimes I feel this time is drawing near"(...)






(you've got to be curious and click on that one to read the quotes:-)please come on, I wont bite!)



The seventh chakra self evaluation


(find more at virtual circle or just answer the questions for yourself too)



1. What attachments do you have in your life and how could you release them?

Oh Goddess!
I surely have an over-intellectualization of things, everything...
hey " sophia would insist you must eat of it"

Knowledge is power...to me it means I can analyse and comprehend things and people better, in a deeper plan perhaps.

Maybe to know,to be able to use my damn brain helps me feel in control and away.
Yes I am away.
I share it all, I am naked and of course some people smile, don't understand or they judge or they just feel either aroused...

surely a lot of people male or female don't dig the depths of my erotic or nude art pictures. but does it matter now?
no is my simple answer, I feel so fine to have this capacity to express my feminine self without barrier that only this is a huge relief for me.

I don't know if I can release attachements.
I am fucking attached to Past.
It just makes me cry anytime I dwell too long in memory lanes.
Sometimes it's cleansing

Excessive characteristics

* Dissociation from the body
* Spiritual addiction
* Confusion
* Over-intellectualisation
* Living "in your head"
* Disconnection from spirit
* Excessive attachments

let's be honest, I have all those excessive characteristic, you can not be passionate and want to live intense emotions and not be an excessive soul:-)
but I am also spiritually connected and smart enough to take rest when the waters are too agitated.



Viens n'aie pas peur!

Take her gentle hand to your worste pretty nightmares
Oh bird you eat her eyes to enter her soul
Make her blind on the effect of language & sounds
Invasion in her spirit
no music
no pages drenched with ink
just the dazzling whiteness
The opacity of skies in winter is nothing compared to this
Oh amazing power of this engine
Wires and needles conducting to the core
Leader of Insanity verses
Transfuse the heartease after the storm
Meet her dangerous chaotic Machine
Make all understanding collapse in the beyond
Burry all punctuation
you don't need to question everything anymore
Come to the depths of devastation
The sweetest fall of the cliffs
Cave in come on closer to her adorn precious darkness
Drunk of the threat of the sighing black thistles



right now I need rest,distance in a way.
I need to find some energy back.

I am attached to childhood/youth.
I hate the idea of aging in the sense of becoming a cold fish kind of adult who lives in a world of numbers and responsibilities and that's all...
I see others changing but I can evolve not forget the inner fae child.
ask me to cut my wings and I'll die, I'd rather die but as I want to live so bad and hopefully for so long because I got so much love to give still that really I will keep my wings...no matter what.

I am attached to my family, I got the feeling of immortality when I am my parents' daughter but of course I am aware of physical aging around me,it's painful.
Sometimes I am like a baby,I want to deny, or I could almost get "angry" to notice,because it makes me think too much and it hurts when it's just live as we live we turn old slowly but surely towards something else an end, a new beginning, who knows?



"Affirmations:

*
I am guided by my higher power and higher wisdom.
*
I am awakened."

I believe in those affirmations.
I got a higher sense of awareness.




I don't say this to pretend I am so enlightened I can be so silly at times:-)
but I learn constantly & I receive messages, sometimes I need time to decode them and of course I can be wrong so I have to go back and re-try to decode them.

We all make mistakes. we all fail in the good things we want to do.


2. What is your concept of the divine and how much time do you put aside to contemplate this?

The divine.
well I divide this idea of divine,I got to see there something higher, something above us,further than us and this idea can be translated as God/Goddess but certainly is just my own Faith.
But what I believe in would take time to explain for I am not religious and haven't been religiously educated nor baptized. I am free from religions and I love that idea not to belong.

But I believe.

the other idea of divine is down here, the presence of divine everything beautiful,serene, impressive,grabbing,eye catching,though provoking,mesmerizing,enthralling,touching,delicate,moving,enticing too...



I take a lot of time to contemplate the divine.
I think I do give a lot of my life for the divine.
Not an idea of God but an idea of Love, creation, sharing,empathy...
I make art to make others find a way,a path, a gate ,a window to open and to find their own divine, to remember their own spark...
we're all divine, innocent, blessed in a way.



3. Tune into what thoughts occupy your mind on a daily basis and decide if they serve you in a positive way or are they self-limiting beliefs?


oh well interesting question...well
I think of death surely too much for my own good and this limits me at times but also it makes me live higher and deeper seeing how people leave so quickly, metaphorically or truly.
I want to be the ones who grabs these instants of LIFE and offer them, spread them,scatter this huge wave of hopes...
ahah that's on my good days and that's the real me, today I'm darker for sure.
Feeling so exhausted emotionally and physically doesnt help me.

I'm learning from my thoughts and I try to use everything that comes across my mind in a positive ways.
Everything is a hint towards bigger answers I'm sure.
only this makes the inner fae child finds her huge smile back.

Yay!she says.

4. How can you bring a sense of the sacred in your daily life?


Through meditation, through reading and sharing.
Art and writing bring a sense of sacred in my daily life.

I send blessings too,always, to complete strangers,friends/friends to be and loved ones...
I believe in offering pieces of my soul I share sacredness not only because I think I am sacred( though I do believe in the sacred feminine/masculine too, we have god and goddess inside of us, all of us and we choose how to use our power, how to spread our lights and darkness...)but also because I believe giving is sacred and brings such a Bliss in the depths of my being, the return to innocence the highest freedom of detachment in this oblivion of the self...
yes I surely am not that sane :-)

you smile don't you?



Hours of words I'm an addict
How many honeyed sounds pierce through me
Give me more
The soul screams
Give me more of this divine blissful alkaloids
Suffocating moments where my mind is annihilated
The coffins of Reason & Decency are burried under wet sighs stories
My baby called me "little Fear" for he is underwater
Gasping under the wild increase of Cortisol waves
Oh such a delicious drug
Oh gentle wonder of chocking question marks
Now tell me honey mine do you fear my flourishing growth of testosterone

5. How often do you show gratitude towards everything that you have in your life?


Oh my! very often! God I am grateful and that s so true, I just sometimes keep back from this overdose of gratefulness because I might sound too much I dont know or hypocrite perhaps?
well who the fuck are they?
I should just write whenever I am grateful:-)
no care about people thinking, oh my how boring she is with her thank you all the time and how blessed she feels to know this or that person...

but yes that is true!
I am blessed, so blessed and lucky to feel LOVED, I know it sounds so boring but knowing this makes me smile, I am truly grateful for the Love I receive may it be from complete strangers or loved ones, my friends give me such a support, some my special ones give me an inconditional kind of love and they dont just listen to me but they hear my soul for this yes I can not complain and I should not even dare to ask for more ahah:-)

I am grateful anytime I meet a like minded sister/brother/ genderless spirit:)
who enters my life and teach me something, grabs my soul completely, stimulate my brain and make my thoughts dance all happy to become words and poems, or sentences, or blog entries or whatever...I am glad to know a lot of you, I am grateful to internet for this possibility to meet you,to share and get to know you, to offer my humble words and all the smiles in the words for you or you or you :-)

I am very grateful to be alive still, I may feel pain, I may feel so very lonely tonight at my sebastien is back to Paris and I have to readjust to the lonesome cowgirl artist writer's life ^_^

I am too numerous inside to get bored:) of course, but still I hardly breathe without hugs, kisses, love,passion, romance,emotions...


title: No Healing she's the curse

All the doors are closed what burns suffocates her
Nothing gently touches the marble of the skin, or fires the coal of her lips
the apnea is too long
where are we already 6 feet underground
in the small box
Stop speaking I can not hear you anymore from there
His(Her) voice is like ghosts of the moving sand castles (s)He speaks about full mouth of complaints full of blood of I You say nothing (...)


I am feeling so tired I will go to sleep ,hopefully without insomnia tonight, not easy at all to sleep alone when you are the person I am...

(this picture is about Angelene, a mother of souls, mother of men,then there is the play on words mer d'homme which means sea of men, but in French mer sounds like mère( which means mother, angelene wants to bring everything back to life, she s an incarnation of cybele,demeter,Brigit and also shakti...
I have stories about her in my head, so many novels and books to write.
why don't I take the time for this?huh?

ask her!



People seem to like that last painting of mine.It's called "butterfly ghosts I am the question' click to see it bigger if you want to.
Of course it's available like most of my art. I need money like other people even artists need to eat and when I see future, sighs...yes huge sighs...




If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
(virginia woolf)



© All Rights Reserved - No Usage Allowed of my own words and images in Any Form Without My Written Consent.