mardi 4 septembre 2007

Ego versus soul realness

La vie est belle :-) bah oui toujours!! ^_^

Undecipherable Soulful Big Sighs

I feel very light, very inspired, very ready for anything in my life to come to happen.
I know things with my business are not yet ready because many things have changed and now I want to focuse on art rather than the first idea of giving mixed media class.

I would love to be a coach Muse and help other awake their very own spark of creative imagination.
But all the plans I have made for my business were too much and scattered, now things are clearer, though there is always the irony of setbacks of this life.
so still searching for an apartment and seb still searching for a job.

It's not easy but we really handle everything pretty well ^___^
Surely because things are very fine between sebastien and I , we have lots of fun/laughters.
we also enjoy our own time alone in our creative worlds.

In the Forests of Hearts

Exquisite Poetry

I am a hot pink hearts addict ^___^
I am so in love with this life, with creations, with making beauty feel so alive, make it exist make it real.

cheap quick digital scrapbooking
this mon amoureux and I ^____^very fun cheap digital scrapbooking, really done for the fun

I love how we look so fine blessed and in bloom.

Things have not always been that way and well it's funny to know next year we'll celebrate our 7 years!
I would never have thought this would be possible for me.
I remember my past,my life at my parents and the big solitude the lack of love and understanding
the craving for hugs and just to be loved.

I can remember the taste of those tears and how lost in space and time it feels not to share one's heart world with another special someone.

so it aches me a little now for a friend who's craving for Love.
She seems to be such a nice creative and interesting person.

Why things don't happen sometimes?
why Aphrodites and Eros don't do their jobs right?
sometimes they are so tricky and mischievous!!

well I'm just hoping with all my heart that strong positive energies filled with flowers can make her find her way.

Perhaps also even if it's never comforting at all it is very good and healthy to love oneself alone, to take care of oneself, make one's own happiness and also rejoice with friends.

Friendships is a gem.Friendship is divine.
souls embraces.creative sharings.magic.support.trust.constancy.

ok well not everything is fine, Got a mean migraine last night, it's so annoying that now the migraine comes in the evening and don't leave my head till the morning.
I got anxiety and had to wake up in the night to take my gelsemium.
It was hard to sleep.
But after it I always think well it has been worse!
so I am fine :-)

No more migraines pleaaaaase!

Mon petit coeur

I still have lots of fun with Photoshop ^_^
I really want to show this to my father because he would love this software so much!! all the things we can do with it!!

Des fleurs de nous

Disintegration Watching us wither Black winged roses that safely changed their color

No one can fuck up your spirit #128


OH Yes I forgot this here , you don't all see my flickr so here it is:

Helene Deroubaix Published in Somerset studio Yay!

I m published in Somerset studio, big thanks to Jenny Doh and Staci dumoski for making this possible!!
^____^ I was all excited and happy to receive my issue of it.
I can't wait to show it to my parents and other family members!

so I have three pages of my art there and it's just amazing!

Съешь маленьких демонов, которые бегут в моем омраченном сердце...e por favor ame-me


Ego Crisis

Ego crisis.
this artwork is about so many things I'd like to write about right now.

We all have ego crisis.
It's sometimes considered as shame and misinterpreted etc.
Ego creates misunderstandings and some imbalance.

I had a very fast time of Big praise.
too much is too much.
Yes of course there are times like these:)

the dark muse in me is all excited, enough is never enough for her;)
we all love compliments( even parts of us can not really accept them or believe them, stay away with distance but still take them and rejoice)
but there can happen ego intoxications.

I am still an extreme person but more and more balanced with those extremes.
so I got the feeling I was maybe too much.
Me, myself and I.

All the kind words and compliments about the things we can do, we are are always pleasand and some days it's easy not to keep feet on the ground.
and I was like " is this real?"
who am I in this?

These feelings/sensations are funny.
You take distance, you analyze and what remains.
It's like star system.

You get praised and adored, everyone loves what you do the second after you are bullshit or nothing at all.


I know I am nothing. I always have to remind this to my crazy self sometimes.
keep your feet on the ground girl!

But it's so beautiful to receive so much love, and I am blessed and so very grateful.
I then wonder, am I giving enough to you( the world/humanity/life/friends/family...)

I always want to give more and I do sincerely wonder, do they sense my blessings? my positive energies, am I any good for them with the light and sparkles I spread...

I hope so.
I want to do something good.

Well I guess also that what goes around comes around.
and I do good things too. I try to do anonymous and free things.
You know like Free hugs.

I do believe in this.
It's the sugar of life to be so human.
I know it made sound cheap or naive but that is really how I want to live.

and no I am not a saint and I do have my very selfish and egocentric ways.
I do need A LOT of Love too.

But after this ego crisis, I got like a intoxication of me.
you know the taking pictures, it's great,it's funny and very interesting to me.
But I so wish I had models to take pictures!
I'd love to focuse on someone else.

But in my heart I do focuse on my beloved ones a lot, my dear love and my dearest precious friends.

I am eager to make my little assessment about this year 2007.
I can say it was beautiful and so good.
I met the best soul friends/like minded companions ever.
I do hope to take them with me along my journey for ever and ever.
you know who you are and you do know/feel I do care a lot.

I also still love all my other friends, even if I don't write emails all the time, dont reply to letters real fast or have stopped writing etc
I really think of you(s)
I am just busy mind and scatter brain a lot!

(dearest Jen I must have ADD too sometimes, I am all clumsy and forgetful and head in the clouds and hard to concentrate on everything ^___^)

Now I don't remember what I was talking about?

so yes let's focus ego versus realness

I think we can be praised a lot by many persons at a time but in the end what does matter the more, it s our beloved ones.
Their comments words kindness is always a blessings and warmth to my heart.

In You #129

I Loved You (so much)#130

Notre secret(not yet finished)

and there you see my latest artworks.

I am inspired again for my art squared series.
I had stopped for a time, a bit bored but right I feel it's beautiful sweet and amusing meta communication with souls and the unseen.

My last painting : Notre secret ,could be read differently( it s not totally finished and you can see the process of drawing at my flickr)

the first reading could be the secret of Love longevity.
the fact that some couples lasts and are so fine together.
there is no recipe.
It's just communication( I echo you Jen here) and understanding.

I don't know if I am secret or showing too much of my private life sometimes.
But I m quite sure I don't share it as I did in the Past at my livejournal.com
ahah

during tough time the poor sebastien would eat all my cruel wrath mwahahhaahhaha

but now I rarely am angry at him.
:) and I used to write too much of everything about things, with time we don't feel the need to share this much.
Of course when we make true friends we love to share about our beloved ones,because we are made of them.
we are who we loved.
Truly deeply.
we become them. a part of them in fact.
there is lots of mimetism, synchronicity and understanding without speaking.

I love when I once talked about this with my sister and she told me how it was this way with her love, that they think the same at the same time:)
I think it's also the thing ,the connection that make a couple not die but keep on blossoming.

so this painting could be about this in a way.
But the text on her dress is sharing her other secret.
Her secret with the bird above her head.

Maybe it could also be the secret to life ^_^

well I prefer to let everyone read and interprete their own way, I am quite glad about it though her hair is a mess( so this way she looks a lot like me ahah ;o)

voilà, I am now sending millions of shooting stars in the skies, make wishes my friends, lots of positive energies your way whether you need it or not ^_^

5 commentaires:

Steph a dit…

I love the photo portraits of you with the text on them. Wow - those are really, incredibly cool! May I borrow that idea? Your site inspired me!

Hélène Deroubaix a dit…

Of course steph feel free to borrow my idea, I am sure I was inspired by someone else too :)
blessed be!

Jen a dit…

you are generous in your art...yes, it is fun--but also, you so often bring joy, inspiration, and more to others through your art..

if you can see that you are successful at what you are doing...that knowledge of your own value and uniqueness is not the same as feeling "better than" any other person...and so it is soul realness and not inflated ego...no matter the comments

I hope that the lightness you scatter from your thoughts and heart...will gather with more of the lightness in the world...and will circle back to you...a constant supply...always close

glad you are feeling "ready for anything"..."setback" or good fortune...all depends;-)
you sound so excited about photoshop..and wanting to reach for more...photography, art, awakening others creativity..great! you are very good at it,you bring a unique perspective and you love it...(as you know...but this is bound to get noticed;-)

strong positive energies matter...your kindness, concern, and interest is surely felt..and that in of itself makes things better. thanks helene

windy angels a dit…

Ah yes, friendship is such a gem. I too have felt the pain of loneliness. It is such a heavy sadness. How wonderful that you now have the friendship you do.

I've not had the opportunity to congratulate you on being published. That is wonderful. I am very excited for you and want to wish you the very best with whatever the future may hold.
Hugs,
Wendy

Valaine a dit…

Beautiful words, beautiful work - for your ego :) I know exactly what you are talking about, sometimes I wonder if this is all real and who am I in all of this and I step back away for a while to get back to my real life. But I am still pulled to create and share. I love the picture of you and your love and the picture of you with your messy hair. I'm happy for your balance that you are finding. You are right, it is about communication and becoming as if one with the one that we share our life, heart, and soul with. Sometimes I find that I act like him and he acts like me, as if we have completely switched personalities? And we think and say the same things more often. I am interested in your photoshop - you are doing some great stuff with it :)

Many Blessings To You,
~ Valaine