vendredi 24 août 2007

*** masks and personas***

I was the host again at Create a connection to write these questions for the getting to know you day ^_^ so I guess I will answer them now.

Little secrets

1) tell me about the masks you wear or have worn and why?

I love masks, always been fascinated with them.
the mysteries they imply , the fact we can create another identity behind them and be bolder and less introvert.
I love the beauty of them and the feeling of sacred in them, I am very interested in mask art, I adore the ones from Venise.
I have painted some in the past, plastic butterflies ones and plaster ones.I am thinking .
so I am obviously digressed here ;)

I wear masks sometimes to express my other personas freely no string attached and to keep at bay my inside voices who would try to judge and tell me' it's not you it's not you'
Maybe sometimes we can be different,we are someone but we can be different at times
o_O okay go check yourself girl that's called shizophrenia mwahahahhaahhah

Well I do enjoy the mild shizophrenia reminds me that song I enjoy singing with cat power:

Weighted down by possessions
Weighted down by the gun
Waited down by the river for you to come

And who socks were you darning, poor darling
While I was away, away too long
I went away to see an old friend of mine
Sister came over and knew she was out of her mind
She says "Jesus has a twin who don't know nothing about sin"
She was half crazy and out of her mind

Weighted down by possessions
Weighted down with a gun
Waiting down by the river for you to come

Her light eyes were dancing she is insane
Her brother says she's just a bitch on a golden chain
She keeps coming closer saying
"I can feel it in my bones, schizophrenia is taking me home"

Weighted down by possessions
I'm weighted down with my gun
I'm waiting down by the river for you to come.

(it's a sonic youth cover)

I am not schizo because I always know what I am doing I see it,just sometimes some persona pops up and takes the place :D

I really love nicki/jessica in heroes for this.

I have worn masks in the past because I felt people wanted me to :)
I have worn masks to protect others from the truth, to protect myself from their judging ashamed worried sad or not understanding eyes.

but I hardly wear those masks anymore. I don't cheat with the ones I cherish.
I'm freer than before and I handle things better.
If my beloved ones dont understand or judge me I am then sorry for them, I don't want to upset them or make them feel worried etc, but I am still happy to do what I want.
They think what they want and I do what I want and everyone is Happy in the greatest world ever :-)

Parfum d'âme

2) do you use masks to hide or to show pieces of yourself?
in both times tell us details if you are willing to share ;)

oh Helenina you're kind of repeating yourself from question above, but ok, I will answer ;oP

Well maybe sometimes I still need to hide things because I need to keep things separated and fine where they are and maybe I find my mysteries back ^_^

I think I mostly wear masks to be more daring in sharing my whole self.and it works.
These masks help me give me more confidence and I need that because I am a very sensitive and easily disheartened about it all when I feel not satisfied with my paiting for instance.

3)how do you find balance with your different personas?tell us more about these personas, the ones you need to keep secrets and why?not telling exactly who they are of course, I respect your secrets ;)

I have told a lot about my different persona, and I forget some things to add to


It's not easy to find balance, this is why we all are paradoxical human beings.

I think It's safer to keep some personas secret because of the connections people can make or maybe they can end up seeing you as one of your persona and forget who you really are.
I feel bad when something is stuck to me, a label.

It's like when you do something once, people end up seeing you like this and they forget all the rest about you, it s quite frustrating...

anyways I am a cerebral woman who can listens to Britney spears and I love carebears and cute things as much as I like broken toys and tim burton's realm or dark aesthetism like in the Mirrormask oh and I surely can do weirder things, very opposites things.

A movie worth watching for the artwork!

4)How do you deal with your " blue muse" (word by Pattie mosca I think ;) it s the dark twin inside that can drown you, a piece of you who is the insecure and torn part of your personality( the needy one)?

It depends. sometimes she comes out of the blue :D
I sometimes don't deal with her, I get frustrated sad angry and I don't know why because I don't want to hear and listen to her complaints judgements and needs.

She can be so harsh to me, but I think we are our own worst enemy sometimes.

When I choose to deal with her, I feed her creatively.
I take the time, sometimes I do feel imbalanced because she can take me further I can or should go and then it creates the inside war.
But we're more at peace than ever. she's like my inner siamese twin but separated :)

5) have you ever lied, denied and worn a mask to protect others or to keep chin up etc?

Of course, I have maybe worn the mask of arrogance more than once when I felt hurt and angry by the way people treated but I did not know how to handle the harsh words.
I am still emotive a lot but I handle things better.
I know arrogance speech is broken ego. and I am not an egotistic kind of person.
Though I enjoy talking about me I love listening and getting to know others.
I am interesting in the others.

I never lie to precious ones but I love omission sometimes or delaying truths.
Sometimes I protect myself again in this :-)

But as a conclusion I would like to say that if I don't share all my personas it is not because I am feeling bad though there are painful processes in discovery new things about us sometimes.
I think it is rather to spare your soul.
OH and I don't want to feel I have to explain things.

I love freedom,I love cat power and I'm sharing with you this song tonight because it's so beautiful to sing and to dream .

but I think I prefer this version:

Unveil The Winged Black Rose

that was my Captain illustration friday but it was too late to submit it though I had it done early, anyways busy and procrastinating me sometimes.

why Captain because she was the captain/leader of her own vessel( soul)sailing on the seas of this life.

She always had such a strength and determination in the eyes, like a sort of queen of sabaa, she makes me think of a Feminine Spokeswoman, that is there to open the path for her sisters, to tell her yes you can be this and that, yes you are free to be entirely and unconditionnally yourself because it is your life after all and you can live on frustrations or with 'what if I would do that" 'oh if only I could do this"

Live here and now sisters!
She is also spokeswomen for her sisters in Africa and Asia countries where women are sometimes denied,awfully treated,not respected, far from free and so forth

she is a reminder.
We're still living in a man's world and we have to take the power back.
In this I don't mean bad.
I don't mean this as riot girl feminism as I dont identify to this.
I just mean it for The Feminine's sake being women not trying to become like men.
I don't mean it as sexism either.

As even if it's quite rare nowadays I can enjoy males company except those in my family and my dear Love sébastien, I don't have anything against men.

L'odeur de la pluie

Is it True

I really love this latter one and I am still the idealistic ones who will tell you People will love you for the honesty within your soul ;)

4 commentaires:

Jen a dit…

interesting interview...masks, personas, captain of your soul, being known

just last night, someone suggested I go to a museum with my kids...said their was a wonderful art exhibit with masks!

people are so "busy" trying to know themselves I think...that to slow down enough to know another person seems "unlikely"

tis why it often takes time...if it is to be at all and a true desire to understand...

of course, if someone is hesitant to share than it will maybe not be understood/known

so what happens is that people know a part of us...some people know us as what they can gather from their own particular interaction with us...perhaps they expand from there...correctly or incorrectly...

deeper intimacy is often, from what I've read :oP
attained with one or two...
often with a life partner

I think it depends on what any one person WANTS...

if it is wanted(in a big way...passionately) and it is defined to one's self well enough...I mean..the person has a clear picture of what it looks, sounds, feels like to be totally known....then that is one necessary part of the equation to the end...

being known...intimacy...can be had, I think...but not necessarily with the person(s) that "we" might choose...because what they want, and what they are able to manifest is up to them...

hesitation, uncertainty, fear, lack of confidence, confusion, other things that are also intended(neither good nor bad) can take the place in the mind ...all of this can get in the way of a particular intention...and as with anything...the manifestation can be slow to happen or not at all...

wishing does not equal intention...wanting does not equal making it so...

part time thinking strongly one way, but then other times hesitating...

well, all these things so common, I think...

we take the opportunities that we want to take...we make some more that we want to make...we know when we "are serious" ...we know when we back away or lose momentum..or decrease focus on something...if we are honest with ourselves, I think we will see how we can not make the weather (well, we can move to different weather;-)
and we cannot make ourselves taller or shorter...but we can decide what to think, what to say, where to put our energies, and what to not think...not say...

we choose what to share...when..with whom...and why
figuring out what we want at each day...well, I think this is challenging;-) So much more often, I think, people think half way..or they think negatively or with less than strong conviction...even with thoughts of uncertainty (such as saying...well, I'm not sure, I think it is hard to know, but maybe I should isn't that it takes work to know...but maybe it is me not thinking that...) as opposed to being certain that at this time I just don't know...I need more information, or whatever...

the power of thought..of what we think is possible is so much to do with what will be...

wearing a mask to "pretend" to be more really doing the more confident thing...saying the more confident words, thinking the more confident likely feels weird...and not "in character" or in line with what one knows of one's self...but by doing those is...

I qualifies, I is confidence

but I also think that the choice to continue to do those things over and over again, until they become more natural the means to the becoming more is a process...for some, it in any given situation, it cannot be just there or not must be attained...and believing that it is possible ...believing without the key, I think

you got me thinking;-)
a continuation of the things that are on my mind! and if there were not a time difference from you to me...I would have loved to have a conversation if you were interested and available to converse, of course! ;-)....rather than this comment(so lengthy)

Jen a dit…

the eyes and eye brows give expression to your last portrait...thoughtful..a bit unsure...a bit disappointed, maybe...or just not hopeful...or maybe on verge of knowing or believing what she thinks...the words in the window?

the white hair is notable to me...
meaning in it, or just the right look from an aesthetic choice?...or both ;-)

Jen a dit…

one more comment :op
getting shorter, though..
some people will love you for the honesty in your soul
it is possible to be loved for the honesty in your soul
some people do share your view...this idealistic one;-)

I just read in my daughter's school planner tonight...(there are quotes on the sides of the pages or ideas..) that sometimes people can let us down...but our ideals never will : )

Jen a dit…

me again..mwahahaha
just went to listen to song...beautiful
power of the mind...
must and can be free there first

even if living with "freedom"..I suppose that it is possible to be less than free in one's own mind..

I like the message that we can all be free...let it be...and some words suggested by what I've read recently...speaking it and passionately meaning it...universe hear it...and "make. it. so"...
"make. it. so"