The silver lining of my Pregnancy

I wanted to make a list of all the positive things about this pregnancy,because I am always complaining, repeating thousands times a day how tired I feel ahah, I guess I am not ready now to stop saying " I am so tired ;)" but I'll get used to it;)
not mentionning the pain in my poor little body ^__^;;
last night, well in the early morning I ached so bad I had to take a shower to apease that pain at 5 am... hey positive thinking I said!!! :p



-First thing is that my body feels even more feminine to me, more rounded everywhere and it's amusing to have such a bigger breast.

-I never have my feet and hands cold as ice anymore and I never feel cold.



-I take better care of my body, resting, putting creams, being gentle with it, eating more healthy, drinking much more( water of course)

-no more needs of much make up and foundation and even in fact I am not as much into wearing make up, the more natural it looks the better it is!

-I change in my taste for every and many thing it's very interesting,it's like living with more awareness,tasting,discovering new thing, being even more careless about what people might say or think ;)
for instance I feel more open to try new food I have never taste and I really love this because it brings newness in life to taste new thing it kills the routine:)
my life is really new in more than one way!
and also as for clothes style, I am having new taste and I keep thinking of buying a hat(like Michael jackson kind of hat) I am never sure if it suits me so well so I never buy it but keeps wanting it, so soon perhaps ;)

- I am more motherly and gentle than before, ha! when I shout and complain my darling would say the contrary, but in a way I am sure he sees this!
I have always been a loving person, but I care even more, I feel sweeter and more protective with the people I care about or the stranger who hurts and I empathise with.

- I am more stronger than I thought, I mean I do complain yeah I do;)
but really I also can hurt in silence I dont go so insane, I always tell seb" keep on sleeping!nevermind!" because I dont want to bother him and break his sleep.
I feel somehow complain makes me handle the pain and all unpleasant sides of my pregnancy better, the belly is heavy already sometimes when I walk but I am glad to carry this life,I will never ever take this LIFE for granted!

- I am more careless, everything glides on me, especially people's bad attitude and stuff like that;)
I am blessed with my love and family.
I still have my enraged side, especially when someone dares criticize my Sebastien, I show my lovely bat witch teeth, sugar blood sugar!;)



seb is wonderful he would just say leave them talk, he's always kind to everyone, no rancour, totaly not caring about mean people, never angry,never in a bad mood,never complaining,I keep thinking how perfect he is !
his only flaw right now would be not to drive ;) but he'll soon do that,I'm confident still hoping it'll happen;)
and his only vice is video games and to prefer to promote other's art and design instead of his and working much more on his.
he could do so many thing, publish a comics and so forth!
I so believe in all his talents and skills!
and even more in his becoming a father, I know it'll make me cry...
I have never met someone as sweet and kind to everyone,a pure good soul like it's rare to find, he's caring and I am so eager to see him as a dad.

so many wonderful pictures to take for sure!

really if there is something you'd better shut your ignorant mouth about his my love and family and perhaps also even my Soul, cuz you do not know me, humble humble babe;)

but really all my past, the pain, the disapointment, I'll keep making art about it just because in fact our dirty stories, our dark times can be very inspiring, thought provoking,making us think,and show how we grow to be our own individual, free and blessed, aware of our luck to be there and of all the things we have to share, all the things we've been through, all we've seen, all we've known, it can also help other change their life and not be trapped by the same kind of characters.
My most important point whenever I scream and bite in art( which truly makes me laugh out loud most of the time, because in a way people must say wow that woman! she kicks ass, she is violent she hates men she is angry better not cross her line etc etc... but truly I gently laugh when I do this, it's like the woman in me who expresses this is one of my best friend, we play together and have much fun "kniving male egos" the kind of male you would never want to be.

I myself am a man too.
I truly and deeply assert this.
My shiva and shakti sides make me complete, I have accepted the sacred marriage:)
I am aware of the man in me, very aware.
If I were to have a baby boy I was ready to joke about this, making a picture saying
" you've always know this woman has balls ;) but now she's got a penis too ^_____^;;"

Honestly I do not care what people think of my words especially if they want to misinterprete or think I'm too this or not enough that.
Like I said before think what you , I am glad to be me deal with it, be glad to be yourself for Goddess's sake!


I would never want to be anyone else, though in the past I wondered if that thought was not masochistic ahah ^_^;;

as for men well I mostly love them dead : Baudelaire,kurt cobain, Jim morrisson,michael jackson...
I am kidding obviously.

I think in the past I used to be more sensitive to people's bad attitude towards me, I just know they generate negative energy and I just have to find my way back to my own positive energy.

Even if I am even more emotional and sensitive since pregnancy I must say my emotions are mostly towards this pregnancy or everything good, things that moves me, touches me, beauty and kindness in this world.

Gosh baby is dancing, I should not put Britney spears aloud ;) ahah
Heart shaped box

let's try some nirvana;) sure my baby will love it;)
ha! I imagine us singing this together, that would be cute!
if it ever happens I would surely share this on youtube ahah;)


I believe Happiness is the best Art to share:)
because it makes other good souls derive joy and emotions from it and get inspired.
There are many mothers who I look up to and love their photos of their children, their bond to them etc.
I really hope to have a beautiful bond with my daughter because yes it is a fae child just like her mom, another pisces fae child ^_____^;;



sebastien darling brace yourself for the whimsy circus you'll have at home now ^_^;

- another good thing about pregnancy, I'm less vain;) ahah, naah I still love clothes and make up and all mind ya!
but I dont give a damn to wear what I found and feel comfy in and sometimes I go out with such a grungy eccentric style ,it makes me laugh;)
but who cares?

- I cook! Yes! it's not only pregnancy,but I am sure somehow I want to be a good mother and wife, to take care of my family, yeah a true desperate housewife;)

honestly I have always wanted to cook but I was not ready for it perhaps, right now when I cook dinner I feel like a grown up( laughing) it's so strange to me ;)
I just love food and eating, and there is creativity in cooking, and I can not stand routine, so the same for food!
I also want to cook healthy things for my child.
it pleases me also to please others with my food:)

- My faith in God(Goddess) is bigger than ever.
I believe in God deeply, in the angel, the good energies around us, the power of energies and how we attract like minded souls to us.
I have met lovely souls and made new friends, and I am happy of this renewal, always hoping for forevers in friendship:)
ephemeral is fine , we learn and discover a new world with others but when it lasts when we entertain the bond it's really interesting!
My faith is not like everyone, I don't go to churche, I do pray many different ways, I believe in Light mostly
I love Jesus.
Lately I have been more in touch with Saint Michael although known as Archangel Michael, I needed him to give me my energy back and wonderfully enough the next day I was feeling better.

I also talk with the goddess who protects women.

I never enjoy it when people say" oh you're pagan I dont believe in this, so maybe you will be bother, I am just catholic"

I do not care about this.
religion sucks mostly.
Faith is beautiful and it is good, powerful and whatever the God you're talking to, it does not matter.Even agnosticism does not matter.
sometimes you can have faith in something else.
What matters is to stay open minded, tolerant and never judgemental about this.

I have never understood the people who crash their opinions on you, especially when they dont believe at all and somehow they want to make you see they are right.
what is your point in doing so?
I do not understand.

But my faith increased this year right after my miscarriage strangely enough.
because I did feel surrounded by Love, the angels and God/Goddess.
I was not alone in this.
I have seen the way life is beautiful and how strong human being can be.
I have been able in this nightmare to find the lighted way to beauty.


My faith in God/Goddess have always helped me a lot and made me chose what was right.


well there is surely a lot more of good sides of this pregnancy:)
I am feeling more natural, like eating more healthy and being careful on everything I use,products to clean and cosmectics etc

I am thinking of the baby's birth and I want it natural too.
This is important to me.
just like my wish to breastfeed no matter what.
I hope things will go this way and be possible.



I still have to realise I am having a baby girl, my wishes has been granted, my dream will come true, it's gonna be the most wonderful day of my life.
I can't wait to meet her, to look in her eyes.
to see how she looks like.
We could not see much on the u/s.


We can be everything and unashamed of our emotions
we are not our emotions
we are not our behaviours
we are not our images
we are not what you see of us
we are more
we are less
we are beyond
and as everyone will keep misreading our soul
We cannot justify
But to avoid misunderstanding
let set things clear
I am but a human being like most of you (...)

that was my Halloween self;)


a painting of this summer that I finished recently
I don't like it that much to be honest

I prefer that one


I want to work on more twisted imperfect things
I want to keep working on the emotional
Emotions are LIFE.











these little girl pictures I did in June, make me even more eager to take pics of my daughter !

I want to scream her name, it's hard to keep the secret ahah;)


cowardice
betrayal
Lies
More lies
manipulations
Ego lickers(I do not need you)
perversion(shhh I'm a witch)
control freak(I'm untamable)
living in denial
using feminine empathy to trap my sisters
narcissus momma's boy(I wont lick your ass)
fucking lecturers " if you know me so well tell me which hand I use"
raging testosterone why punching X into the walls
I am not made of your rib

this picture is a part of an artwork project called" Soul Laundry"
I love how art is a way to express any and everything beyond your own self.
I look at the works I did I really wonder wow how did it come to me like this?
It's intense the moment of creation, you are guided
I always am amazed surprised and say "I did that?" " I wrote that?"
I keep wondering what were the muses dancing inside my soul at that moment.



knives, teeth, bat wings...
of course little sister I believe in the real men, there are good male souls out there but I have to share the eerie tale of what I have seen(...)
Beware little sister, sometimes sugar can rip your heart and they hide behind their poet or artist attire to better disapoint you, they know the best art of sweet dirty lies(...)


well I guess I should call it my new controversial and surely polemical set because it surely does not please everyone
but give me my free speech and go watch other art that fits more your personality while I indulge in the freedom of artistic expression.

I don't always take all the credit of my art work, I thank my muses and the invisible spirits who guided me through the post processing of my images.
It's magical when art happens.
but it's not just me. we are all co-creators always.
because good music is better to share more than once;)

I am very eager to get tori amos solstice new cd.
People are tiring about criticizing her on things that are absurd, like they are not able to accept she has grown spiritually and could go on and on in circle telling the same things, she's a mother now, she has more to say.
People think she's gone on the soft side, well I remember smokey joe and I dont believe this.
of course she's softer somehow, motherhood is wonderful for this, we are more serene and towards the loving than our anger.
but she surely have still some anger towards many things that revolt her.

and at this time of the year, after such a strange year, I am pretty eager to listen to her softness, it'll be beautiful and apeasing.

2009 has been a strange year in more than one way.
A lot of deep pain,disapointment, ends, and the most beautiful blisses.
I have tears in my eyes when I think of my daughter.

I feel it's such an intense bliss to me that I need time to welcome all emotions about this wonderful surprise.


Life with all its magic of highs and lows.

I could not believe it!
Sebastien is so happy too,he wanted a girl too:)
Something you've been waiting for so long is near to happen, you have to be responsible for it.
that fear of bliss you know,it could be taken away, it could go wrong if I am not careful about everything.
It's not pressure.
I just really want to give the best for my daughter like most moms want.
There is so many things I want to share with her.

My passions for words, poetry,mixed media painting,singing together, reading her stories I loved as a child, telling her secrets about grown ups ;)

I want to be able to remember my own childhood and also to make a difference with what is important and what is not.

well voilà for the news!
The best is to come always ;)

Live & love before it's too late!

December views #1

I'm but a weed that looks like a flower
Nothing more than this invasion in your wide white void
And each of your move have opened my black hole
tearing me all apart violently on the stitches of my petals
Careless utterly selfish darkest hurricane
You took it all and more with you
An immense forest of oblivion and forgiveness
learn to bleed learn to forgive
How many crosses around my neck
I weight your pain
I gave my blood to this
waves lengths of silence and tears uncried
but it always has to be about your own alleys of misery
lonesome ghost on roads of woe
always about you
"for your own good for your own good"
the purest poetic lie I've ever heard
learn to keep the guilt learn to shake my shame
My giving was so real
A pure loss
I granted all your freedom I let you go where the wind blows
I waited on seasonal sorrows
my pining grew
you hurt me so
miles of "pardon me" I followed addicted
I wish I had known how wrong I would be(...)









As she came dressed with transparent petal of grace as a pure honesty finery
I felt my call had been heard
I suddenly felt less alone as my wings weighted down on me
She wrote on the coffin around my neck " you are my twin"
My icing blankets covering up my c-aches
I didn't need no mirror
I knew she was my soror
We only need to believe
To keep on making us want to live(...)










Waking up on your ice
clinging to your floe rocking your flow my darling my foe
sending kisses to the layers of fog
undecipherable marks of snow message on your hands
Not a lie just a tie a cross
I was here
On that day I crashed down your frozen waters
constantly skating like dancers on a sinusoidal hell of sugar coated illusions
How sore this icy burning
break it break it break me break on me
Oh Samael kiss me behind our masks
Waterfalls of poisonous icicles
behind my eyelids your hell
closing in
your hell inside of me
I'm not lying like snowhite in her ice coffin my seraphic demon
In my winter dress I am your most delightful victim
juice of hailstones icefall my favourite wound
Sometimes my Antartica
when your arms can melt in the distance
Sometimes my Antartica
the warmest tears remain uncried my love









How many clocks haunt the path
I scatter words behind me
In the core of hearts the hands say it's time
In the swamp of the brakish thoughts of my mind
He stretch the gold of insane tomorrows: profusion of light
I drank the slowlness of the winter months
Drink the oblivion to the songs of bird masks
They are learning how to fly
her wing is torn
you have to sew the thoughts together
Along my loins braids of kisses
Oh softness of the gleams in the core of the fairies of nothing
Hidding the wounds and the black cherry juice
Cry tiny heart
They are learning how to fly
His island is devastated
The wind still talks about these twin souls
whom the spectres still glow there
In the wood of forget me(...)



it hurts my hands to follow the curves of her writing
but on the loneliest nest of night I could love just to see her invisible wings
swaying in a land of traps and nets
Judith sweetest bliss my Judith
I know the seasons of your innermost secret garden
I remember the noise of your heavy heart
when it broke on the ground
All the pearls turned into necklace of poems
Only for Judith's neck
You betrayed your soils where the flowers grow
Judith unlace my corset of dreams tonight
will you hate me as much I could have loved you
It was a long road full of thistles and ivy
My ankle got strained
My soul bled the most
My heart bled the most precious love
But Judith knows when she closes her eyes on my pillow
I sigh
I glow
will you return to me
from your palace of the underworld
Muse of the words that kill with pleasure
I know the archives of your dark betrayals

*****************************************

and some of my recent paintings
















Most of my paintings are available for sale if you're interested feel free to contact me.

Blessings & quietness

Helenina's tsunami babies : colorful emotions,hushed smiles,bleeding corazons and weeping eyes on the most beautiful horizons...

Oh God! will I manage to blog just once in a month?
I don't know.




The clouds are gliding in my mind
First comes the coma white in my spirit
the hands of the clock always threatening
attaching weight of guilt around my doll neck
I just want to collapse on my bed of cherries
To fly away in my nonsensical circus of dreams
The enchanting sweet funfair where colors are alive
I conceal all the question marks under the sheets
I don't want to see their grey faces
I want to swirl in poetry fields and open my arms to your silences
I'd pick flowers of semantic for thee only for thee
But the day goes in shades of grey
I eat some clouds & yawn all day
I sigh come back it is so grey
Without you my whimsical poem
without you it's not the same





Is that I feel I have nothing to say or that I cannot write down everything that I think.
I always have so much to say about any and everything just sometimes tired to speak, lazy to take the time to write.



also like this song says something are better left unsaid for who would understand me but me myself and I.

People who come with their big sandals of judgements, analyses,prejudice and such.
Everyone has their opinion on everything.
I do not mind sharing my soul.
But I keep the best for my dearest ones.

I am already so giving, so naked(yes soul and body) in my work and poetry.








I really am a dreamer and a poetic story tellers.
I breathe romantic semantic fields fresh air, I live for this somehow.
Emotions nurture me and they keep me alive oh so alive also they keep my Muse at work.

I also believe I'm a Muse for rent.
How much?
it's kinda free.
All I want back is to see more art, more love spreading,emotions,sharing,a pay it forward.
To give so people give, learn how to give again, to trust again, to remember they too can be muse and they too can do good down here.

Is it important?
Yes for how it feels.

so the pictures above are from my clown series.
Inspired by many girls who did this and especially the beautiful Elle Moss who is a lovely whimsy one of a kind inspiration.
A woman photographer so creative that I admire a lot.

Everyone wanted to know what the clown means.

so it begins like this once a upon a time, in many centuries before, a nonsensical princess fell in love with a poem that thought he was a clown...
This is surely the root of it, so she became a clown, expressing his feelings,reassuring him too that she was a clown too not such a princess.
It brought to life new branches with blossoming words thank to the magical hours of poetry and laughters.


I painted too of course, I am not totally idle while away from blog;)



click to see bigger:-)

Who can misread the Pages of Love True?

I love that one so much, I was so happy with her face style and the colors.
She looks kinda sad but her sanctuary is filled with emotions.
I think Angelyrah wants to tell the world that to love true is better than True love, but she's never sure of her own thinking.
She's forever incomplete and learning, yes kinda like me, but she's not me I am not her.


this is my Princesse of chocolate mustache,such a story,in ten years again she'll make me laugh with warmth in my heart.



Fragmented Bliss in True Devotion #158

for my one a day series that is going on till 200 and then well I don't know



I cannot be severed/I am whole, too squares for one soul,one story.



that's the question of these days sometimes:
how far can I be me how far can I be home

My dear sister of soul Chantal said all the way:-)
she must be right.
Home is in my soul so I should feel safe everywhere I go.

Do I still live in my own prison.
A lovely girl at flickr made me think today.
Are the bars of my self doubts and silly fears still preventing me to go further?

I always believe in art I creatively find ways to push the limits, to always go further, to renew but in life I am also very comforted in the same.
ok let me explain this.
I am used to my life, my pseudo comfort, I mean I'm not rich I live in a small but lovely apartment with a big bathroom so luminous and wonderful place to be:)
I enjoy the countryside everytime I go out,I keep on being so aware of this luck to be here though I am damn human beings I wish I had a house, a garden,be more secure financially,independent financially...
Maybe I'd love to have babies too.
but yes I'm a new born coward:-) I fear the consequences of having a child.
responsibilities.lack of time for me, my art and my missions( laughing)

Yes you can see me as selfish or whatever you want to interprete through my words but Goddess know I'd be so very devoted to my children, I will have them.
Hopefully.

I don't know.
I just want to give myself to humanity for now.
my own ways.
Kinda like God in the morning above the clouds He wakes up and thinks ok right which person I'm gonna listen, grant wishes too, make smile, make feel , laugh etc today?

laughing.
Ok ok come on I dont really have that megalomiac Messiah syndrome?!
^___^
I just at my own level want to do something good.
It is my path.
A fact.
Something I cannot deny or do as if I'd better take care of myself first.
I do take care of myself.
I do.
It selfishly makes me happy to make another one happy.
laughing.

This life is so beautiful sometimes.
I always wonder why I ache so very much at other times.
Mood swings fae child.

so how far can I be me?
I am me.
I also believe and am aware people see illusions of me, through my art,photoshop images and poetry.
This is a percent of me, or my personas, my fictions, my emotions turned into fairytales, my passion bleeding through colorful births.

I am always freer of those images of me.
I know there will always be someone to see bad or negative things in me and my behaviours,some people will always have time to waste.
I share my positive vibes, I am far from flawless but I am quite happy to be me even if yes that's true I do happen to feel like shit or empty or lost.

I know I will always have those moments when I step back into my old self universe,because she has things to teach me still.
Just like my inner wild child fae, I will never forsake her ;-)
I am nothing without her.
I am blessed I have kept her safe with me along the year, she still shines through me making me live this life the better way for me, experiencing everything with more awareness,making peace with all judgements inside my mind etc.

I still have my anxiety disorder.
I know sometimes why.
Part of that most stupid idea we have called Guilt!
Thank God, give me five!
why did you create Guilt by the way?
it s such a waste of time and energy!

so I dig some holes to collect that vain guilt feelings and I burry.
It causes me some sleepless nights.



Title:Metallic blood tears for my marble lips hammering the muddy chaos in her garden corroding the silver threads of her nightmare filled sleepless nights

and the poem to go along:

A story without air
a story without her
a story without sense
a story without doors
without ways out
without windows
without light
Strange how your beauty is stronger than the pain
A story without me
A story with thousands I'm sorry
A story of tightrope walkers so afraid of heights
Thin line where sin lies
A story without stars
without full moon for the devil of noon
Stranger how your Light is stronger than the rain in my head
A story with no ground
A story without keys
a story with no sound
A story without words(...)

and sometimes I feel like this:


that surely makes me more like a real true human beings each day aye?




and that's me with my adorable love my so dear darling my anchor my life the one I am not sure I could live without except if he would leave me ,I'd just live in denial and pout, kidding:-)

Yes it's true I don't only love him, I adore my dearest souls, the gardeners of my heart,the precious ones I'd give anything to, they are family,friends, they mean so much to me that the only important thing to me is that they KNOW this and SEE the real me.


I won't ever look the flowers the same ways...

I truly have the best friends I've ever wanted and dreamt to have that's why I feel guilty when I cant feel alive happy and grateful though I know it s just an emotion, a phase not the person I am.

I remember the years before, where was I? who was I?
it's amazing!
I had to wait ages.
But now It's true.
Yes not perfect, they all live miles away.
Who cares?
who said everything should be perfect?
I cannot imagine this life without them.
and it feels good to know they exist.









home again
whole again
young again
fun again
free again
clean again
(extract of the cure love song)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbijjEQXWSQ&feature=related
the sound is crappy but I adore that version and her silly impro with the Hurt by Nin haha she's too cool :-)

The more I live the Happier I can feel it seems, yes I do feel quite sad at times too.
I could get stuck on these incapacities, lacks,blockages,powerlessness,flaws,guilt,fears,doubts and so forth but I just go on,move on.
I have my unborn babies inside of me so I always have a thousands reasons to go on.to keep loving and living and making any sorts of artworks I want to do.

I regret a little my lack of ambition ,organisation all the things that makes me feel like a loser at times, I am sorry to myself, but I try to compensate with other things.
I better live on love/emotions than money.
Yes forever hopeless romantic dreamer.
That does not mean I can't handle the real world.
I do what I have to do now, what I feel is the right alley for me.
I guess it does me good:


title: Interview Express

- helenina do you have a moment please?
-why not?
-so tell me helenina have you found your smile back today?
-sure...did I lose it?(smiling mischievously)
-well you sound so very sad sometimes...
-it's just life emotions, I'm going with the flow you know(smiling pensively)
-how do you feel about all the kind messages you receive everyday?
(giggling)
-it feels good, I am not sure what to think though, I'm just me and sometimes strangely enough I feel I have the world on my shoulder and that I have to take care of others surely why I'm aching so bad tonight...
-Do you care at all?
-I do, I am so blessed, everyone who stop on my soul I'm quite thankful, I bless them, they help me bear my own self( laughing loud) I'm just kidding I have made peace with her now, old stories( smiling)
-But sometimes some find you agressive?
-they do? oh come on look at me ( lamb eyes ^_^)
ok ok I am sorry, blame it on my mood swings and also I get the feeling I cannot do everything that I want so I am frustrated, I really love to listen to people's stories and see how I can help, it's just that I really can not save the world...sometimes I look at me from outside and I say " come girl aren't you insane or what?"
I do spread myself too thin, leaves me energyless and grumpy, but I love human beings truly and my dearest friends so very dearly...
-you're a good soul
-they say so...but you see those teeth ( wink) it says don't cross the line...
(laughing again)
- so how is your new life as a witch in Houdan's Dungeon?
- I like it. Look at the view so beautiful...the more I walk here the less I imagine a life in a city, I surely would die...I need nature!
-any projects ?
-well I'm trying to get more published,things like that, but this life has chosen to make me receive always more love than money so I take what life gives to me...Honestly you know what I prefer ( mischievous wink)
- okay I won't take more of your time, just a last question perhaps?
-sure
-where was it?
Laughing and waving goodbye in her silent smile...




When I do those vintage effects on my pictures I am obviously or not(laughing pathetic me) inspired by Gary Isaac's style who is a god of Photography to me.

I admire so many photographers they are a true inspiration and a blessing for the eyes that feels further the image.
I sometimes wish I'll be as good as them.
I am improving and I am soon going to buy a better camera.
Perhaps this weekend,I keep on thinking and alas I need a new a washing machine, the one we have seems broken.











Houdan(quite glad of this kinda panoramic view)
isn't it such a lovely frenchy town lost in the countryside?
^_^




That makes me want to buy a bike to ride everywhere, to ride and stop somewhere for a pic nic with my sebastien.
Perhaps we'll do that as soon as we can afford to buy bikes.
In the meantime we have nice walk outs.


I love that little summer dress, I have it since my 17 years old ;-)
(boasting off ;-)
haha

I truly have so much more to say.
I keep on being the witness of beauty in everything, I don't have tv since we've moved it the wires have a problems it seems.
so I am awfully unaware about politics problems wars hungers and all drama or reality.
Do I miss it?
I don't know.

Yesterday feeling so bad, in physical pain I watched some dvd Dawson's creek.
Don't laugh.
I will forever adore that tv show, shamelessly.
Made me feel oh God how life flies, how lovely teen times can look sometimes but of course yes I remember the horror of it too ;-)

Yet I believe sometimes My life is like a book that has to be written,full of fantastic stories that always look so incredible, magical,one of a kind, my paper journal is made of thousands memories and remembering and also quest for more understanding, more balance, more sharing always.

My paper journal is made of all the things I don't feel like sharing here, I am blessed to be an artist and to have this life.
I just hope I can live that way much longer and that it's indeed always happier and better.
It does seem so ;)
I love it!