Once A Fae Child Mother Always A Fae Child Mother

I want to believe we all do the best we can.

To show we care.
To help others.
To show empathy.
To offer some kind help/words.





I love " almost rosey"
this is the way life is most of the time when we accept all the pain we can go through, somehow perhaps we have to go through these pains to understand, to keep learning and growing as spiritual individual.

I always try my best to improve my humanity, to listen more, to developpe my understanding and empathy and yet at times it's true it's very heavy.

Not as if I was carrying the pain of the world on my shoulders, I have moved on from that thought.

Maybe sometimes in the confusion of feeling too much empathy we have to keep on carrying love and receiving Hope.




I believe in that.
we cannot give up on our dreams or then where's the fun?
I remember having been told to live in a wonderland being too dreamy but this is what has taken me there, where I am and truly I am grateful to myself that I've kept dreaming, that I have not denied or abandonned my self, my inner Fae child.

It's important not to betray yourself.

I am always wanting to be more sincere, more honest ,fair to the soul I am in deep.
Sometimes I know I am awkward in my expression I even surely sound bitchy and all, I am just passionate, I give my all to everything I do.

I always want to understand if I think it's important, or if I care.

I am very emo today,not sad.
I kinda hurt for others more than myself, because I have mourned my loss.

I am not into going to that "oh please pity me I lost my baby" kind of behaviour.
I even feel ill at ease now receiving message of empathy about this because I am okay with it.
I have walked the path of acceptance, I have listened to my sisters of pain who have been through the same or even worse from my point of view.

But I don't want this to be forgotten.
People can do what they want like nothing happened.
It's true my body is back to thin, it's like nothing happened.
But I have that tiny stretch mark on my thigh and it's a sweet melancholic reminder.

I have been a mother and so I'll always be.
That's why I did that colorful pixie fae picture on top :)
It brougth me a huge smile on my face.
It's a picture I took last december though and I was not pregnant yet at that time.

But I edited it yesterday and felt a lot of joy in this.
Remembering the good feelings about being pregnant and how everytime I had some kind of worries, may it be financial or else, I smiled because what matters truly was this life growing inside me.

I am feeling so much better since my last post.
I sleep better, I have strange dreams at night, many dreams.

I believe I do feel I receive as much energy as I'm giving right now and it often makes me emo.
Empathy is wonderful,such a powerful feeling, I so need to see more empaths around me, I so need to see other human beings who cares to share their light , who care to do just a little thing for another sometimes.

I believe in simple things like the power of a smile.
Yeah you can call me naive.
I sometimes laugh at myself lately and tell me how boring I must sound with all that spiritual growth lately and that positive thinking philosophy.

It is just that I do believe in this firmly.

My miscarriage somehow awoken other pains of my life, past wounds that perhaps needed more stitches.
I feel better.
I can smile again.
I can laugh.
I am blessed and grateful for the energy I receive, whatever it may be!
mail in my letterbox is a true blessings.
I'm writing letters now and then, I don't want to suffer the pressure of penpalling like I used to.
I want it to be fun, to write to share deep thoughts and daily routine, to connect to a soul in the paper and to create another kind of friendship!

It is beautiful! letters still brigten my day!
Thank you♥♥♥




I have began to paint smiles.
I did give a try to that last year but I'm not so good at painting Bliss because well perhaps I believe rare are the people who derive joy from yours, this saddens me a lot.
Because as much as I share the sorrow of another I do derive so much joy from others happiness and more if they are close ones!
and God I love that feeling!
It's deep,it's energy again!

This is also why it's fantastic to see our loved ones happy, we get energised by this.

that painting to me sums up what I have always thought about life, it's better to die than not to live, which means to me, that ok maybe with time I will more and more accept the fact that there is death, we have to be separate from our loved ones for a time, maybe it's only time...
maybe we do meet again.

I have no certainty about after life, I believe in something else but still searching and reading about these things.
I am very intrigued about Past lives at the moment.

digression sorry, so I meant that okay we're gonna die, but we do have this Blessings to be here, to have had this life.
Why on Earth dont we make the best of it?
I wonder?

I value life because I know all the percents about a pregnancy turning into a miscarriage, and how we need so many parametres for a life to grow and to be healthy.
Of course I also believe in some kind of Destiny so somehow I could say but it was destiny that things happen the way they do.

I am very part or perhaps it is balanced with my faith and what I learn about science/biology and things like that.
Sometimes I think it's very strange for a girl of Faith like me to be so intrigued to learn about scientific things, about the universe, space, biochemistry and all.
I am fascinated by learning, it does not decrease my Faith in God/Goddess.



The healer & the satin voodoo dolls' poetic revolution

I love the strength in her gaze, she is determined, she knows how to find the wisdom in her wounds.
I dont know why she makes me think of Emily dickinson maybe the fact the frame takes us to older times and her dress is old fashioned too.

She believes in the poetic revolution, I believe in this too.

Sometimes people think I'm anarchist, rebel or communist.

I am not very interested in politics, I am sometimes trying to listen for the culture, not to be totally out of it, but I'm a bit lost.
I think it's all about power and though I kinda love power what is important to know,is what is your power? and how to use it?

A lot of people use their power listening to the ego and it does not work for the best.





I can't change video

How much I love this song.
This is true.
Nothing can stop or change me , I mean the depths of my identity, the soul I am and my purpose in life, my reasons to be down here, my wanting to help others, to give something and believing in this does show me great results.
I smile at those little things.
It's often a drop in the ocean.
I don't care.

Whenever I reach a soul and bring a smile on a face well it's just wonderful.
I feel so united and human, I belong me the secluded loner ;)

I am not feeling so lonely lately, I have too much on my mind, many ideas,many things to do,art, photos,poems, ideas for my e-courses







Sometimes I wonder if everything I offer to the world makes sense for anyone, and I don't really need an answer.
It makes sense to me.

My last post was not of the taste of everybody.
I didn't want to sound rude with the "jerk", I was just angry and tired of unsensitive behaviours when someone lose their baby.
I just have a very hard time to understand why we cannot just say a simple " I am sorry" instead of uttering mere bullshit that are unecessary in a time of huge sorrow?



Only 6 days to wait for the vulture to came
do you get enough
show me that hard on
when you see my blood
You can cross my line but never reach me

He feels so cut under
wishful thinking to annihilate my Sacred Feminine
While I am still standing with ribbons of lava
and the shreds of my heart

I lost my baby and all you care is to teach me privacy
I know seclusion
I won't ask permission
to be me

You know some men wrote that book
some men wrote that book
bleeding mysogynism how can you love yourself
Go tear a page and write something for you to live
So that you don't have to rip from mine to feel
It takes courage to heal

Prince of dimness
All you know is how to be completely offensive
breaking in when you're clearly uninvited
Yet I am sure you were fascinated watching at my ass
craving for some attention back honey

too bad I'm so sorry
I only care for the vulnerable men who don't tell me
the dress I should wear
the book I should read
Do you know who the real men are

You kept lashing out at people claiming you know what was better for them
didn' you
you surely know what's better for me
Wanna teach me to be beautiful and to shut my big mouth
I believe it's too late man
let Pele burn your God complexe

You surely need a woman to look after you
You cannot penetrate my world you feel so small

I'll ever fight for the words that need to be said that needs to be written
I believe now we can let the succubi take care of your dreams
if you ever have any
I can't believe you ever had any
You wouldn't have to read my every steps and misteps if you even had a life
my empathy little darling that must be such a worse ordeal to be thee(...)

****
yes indeed my poem is strong.
It's a mix of Sekmet and Kali influence ;)
and I do believe it's good sometimes to assert your soul and not let another person tell you what you should do.

I am deeply independent(doesn't imply I don't need love or I want to live on my own, I love humanity and I am quite blessed to live with my sebastien)

I quite know that asserting my feminine power , my will and strong spine makes people want to call me bitch.

Like I have said once I am truly ok with this.
What people can say about me is none of my business.
Plus as an artist I don't need to be understood.
I don't care, for I know my work will be misinterpreted and people will always confuse the artist and the woman, and sometimes the line between expression and imagination is so thin that it's so difficult to find out.

It may happen , then it's great!
Is it so important anyways?
can we just take art for what it offers?
light, philosophy, new way of thinking, emotions, understanding etc.

art is a cheer up in the world, art is way to fight the paralysis of despair where our societies take us, I totally agree with tori amos on this.

As a woman I care to see my loved ones try to understand me but it's ok if they dont get all about the artist.
As an artist I don't need to be loved for everything I do, I don't need people to love everything I do.
I am fine with this.

I don't love everything I do either.
smile.




People are easily afraid of the Power of Goddess Kali.
But to me her energies has helped me big time to move on from my lethargy and lack of self confidence, or increase of self doubts.

I love Kali very much.
I love that kind of energy.
I do admire strong women a lot.
does not make me less sensitive.
I am far from cold.I am burning with Passion for Life!
I cry easily before movies...





I have so much to say lately, so many words wanting to be written, said,shared, offered.
Sometimes it just goes beyond me, it runs out of my soul and I just let go.
I understand so much.
I never imply I know it all or have lived it all, so far!
that would be preposterous and honestly I know that kind of people, I don't really like them.






(this song was so synchro with what happened to me, felt a solace in this,it'll be our song for ever now.)

I am sorry
the rivers are upside down
a flower fall
hard to perceive
blue bird songs
only a tiny bud
between wood
no lianas can solace
my fragmented soul
today is
one more day
I cannot cry
holding on
only walls and doors around me
corridors
gloom
my world is upside down
I am so alone
in this everlasting pain
no one will ever comprehend



behind the veil
watery memories
I hear my broken voice
"where is my baby"
In the red pool
I've got to pull over
my heart machine's got a leak
eerie sounds
my prayers can't be heard
in the din of my soul
caving in
maybe my arms are just too thin
to hold your little soul
maybe my arms are too thin
it should have been a breath
a tiny flickering energy
it should have had more pages
I still had so many words
the rest of the world cannot hear this
my mother tongue
is undeciphering
there are blanks and fogs in every words
tear the blue sky by the window
"where is my baby"
my springtime days give ways to winter
I'm freezing cold
I am dressed with iciles
dark trees growing from my bleeding heart
did her little soul drown
because I couldn't provide her wings
my spirit sinks
a little each miles
away from you
I want to swim
entangled in my silent screams
too many corpses
in the book of my seas
I cut my hair
do you need my eyes now
why so much sacrifice
to hold you in my arms

music by Bel canto inspired by the melancholic fairy tale the story of a mother



Heading to somewhere safe
I remember walking in the sand
Saraswati ripples
inside me
and the colorful screen
got switch off
As the clouds were bleeding
my heart
it pours
all the sweetest songs
all the sunbeams
I crawled to the rock garden
eating pebbles on my way
It's been raining for centuries
old palace
how can I sing this song now
how can I
losing my last feather
muddy ballerina
where is my cherry swirl
old palace
Even her foot steps make no noise
Emptiness wants to come to my shore
but nothing can compete
the flows of her eyes
show me the way
Loneliest path
slashed wings
I still can walk
can you believe it
chin up
even a loan of smiles
each day
his arms carry me
I still can walk
towards the void
on her horizon
loneliest path
to somewhere safe
Now that my dream stars
has been all torn apart
Now that my dream lights
has been switch off




this is me as a little girl travelling in Turkey( by car with my family and friends)



and this is my new haircut, kinda destroyed ^___^;;
very asymetrical, I like it very much.
It made us feel better to go to the hairdresser one week after the mc.
It was like a way to rebuild, to feel pretty again,to feel feminine again,to reconnect,to take care of myself.

I thank the hairdresser very much, she was Awesome!
**********



I read
I cannot decipher it all
But I read
I hear you sisters brothers
They all compare the stains
My blood is darker

Is this the new Elite baby
wake up
Please
How can you serve yourself
to the cocroaches

I know it hurts
I know we're so alone
miles of betrayals
moutains of abandons
how many knives on my back

Don't you see you bury yourself
In the land of victimhood
Now who's betraying yourself
Now who's abandonning yourself

Breathe between the dots
Sisters
brothers
I never claim it would be easy
it's so easier not to
much easier not to

We know we could all give up
Paralyzing anguish
oceans of disorders
nights in tears and cuts

As a mother I can understand
but what are the hugs worth
if the words promotes your martyrdom
Burn that victim sign
rise again
remember your strength
we won't build a New Age on this
We won't create a Revolution on this

it's time to evolve
Learn to evolve
or stop blaming the world for your terrorist
you know who has given up

Rise again
wire back to your pride
dig deeper
believe
"I will escape from this all"

♥♥♥

I posted this somewhere else and felt like sharing, may it can help those who need to receive some positive energies.





I believe. but only if you allow yourself to believe too and to decide it's time to heal, time to decide what you want to live and what you don't want, time to change your self loathing and self destructive behaviour.

You've all heard this. No one can love you if you don't love yourself.
This is a very hard task sometimes especially if we've been hurt,abused,unloved etc during infancy,childhood or teen age.

I believe Past is past. Of course it does make you be the person you are.
What do you want to be NOW?
this is the important question.

You can begin one day at a time.
Or you can forever wear your "I'm a victim sign" and feel you belong to some kind of underground new community, this is alas the sad world we're in.
We're intoxicated by many things.

Have you forgotten your own essence?
can there be anything deeper inside you?

you can escape from it all,or better said (because I dont believe in escapism) you can grow spiritually and find all the wisdom in your wounds.
It's not an easy path, life is not easy at all.

But if you begin slowly to accept the blessings to be there maybe you can begin to heal.

I am not saying you don't have the right to vent, mourn, feel sad or sorry for yourself,be angry and so forth.
A lot of very unfair things happen everyday.
You may feel very lonely but you're definetly not alone in this if you believe.
and I am not only talking about some God.

I am not religious, neither am I a doctor or a therapist.
I just firmly believe in the power of our soul.
If only we could see all the beauty inside us and share all the thing we are with others, doing little things, like smiling to a person in the streets who seems lonely or sad, or just comforting someone in need ,listening to a friend in need,taking of animals in shelters, doing things to protect our planets and things like that... maybe little by little we could feel we belong somehow instead of staying paralyzed by the despair all around us.

I do know this life is not easy.
I've had my share of pain, even recently... but this has increased my faith in Life and in Humanity.

I know anything is possible when we go for it.
Don't you still have dreams to fight for?
Aren't you too young to die?
Don't you want to keep searching for all your reasons to be there?

I am sorry if I bother anyone with this sharing.

I just wanted to send everyone who's feeling helpless, hopeless and totally depressed today some message of Hopes and positive energies***

May you all feel better."

Namasté & love the one you're with, and your friends and family! keep on sharing your spark!

Helenina's tsunami babies : colorful emotions,hushed smiles,bleeding corazons and weeping eyes on the most beautiful horizons...

Oh God! will I manage to blog just once in a month?
I don't know.




The clouds are gliding in my mind
First comes the coma white in my spirit
the hands of the clock always threatening
attaching weight of guilt around my doll neck
I just want to collapse on my bed of cherries
To fly away in my nonsensical circus of dreams
The enchanting sweet funfair where colors are alive
I conceal all the question marks under the sheets
I don't want to see their grey faces
I want to swirl in poetry fields and open my arms to your silences
I'd pick flowers of semantic for thee only for thee
But the day goes in shades of grey
I eat some clouds & yawn all day
I sigh come back it is so grey
Without you my whimsical poem
without you it's not the same





Is that I feel I have nothing to say or that I cannot write down everything that I think.
I always have so much to say about any and everything just sometimes tired to speak, lazy to take the time to write.



also like this song says something are better left unsaid for who would understand me but me myself and I.

People who come with their big sandals of judgements, analyses,prejudice and such.
Everyone has their opinion on everything.
I do not mind sharing my soul.
But I keep the best for my dearest ones.

I am already so giving, so naked(yes soul and body) in my work and poetry.








I really am a dreamer and a poetic story tellers.
I breathe romantic semantic fields fresh air, I live for this somehow.
Emotions nurture me and they keep me alive oh so alive also they keep my Muse at work.

I also believe I'm a Muse for rent.
How much?
it's kinda free.
All I want back is to see more art, more love spreading,emotions,sharing,a pay it forward.
To give so people give, learn how to give again, to trust again, to remember they too can be muse and they too can do good down here.

Is it important?
Yes for how it feels.

so the pictures above are from my clown series.
Inspired by many girls who did this and especially the beautiful Elle Moss who is a lovely whimsy one of a kind inspiration.
A woman photographer so creative that I admire a lot.

Everyone wanted to know what the clown means.

so it begins like this once a upon a time, in many centuries before, a nonsensical princess fell in love with a poem that thought he was a clown...
This is surely the root of it, so she became a clown, expressing his feelings,reassuring him too that she was a clown too not such a princess.
It brought to life new branches with blossoming words thank to the magical hours of poetry and laughters.


I painted too of course, I am not totally idle while away from blog;)



click to see bigger:-)

Who can misread the Pages of Love True?

I love that one so much, I was so happy with her face style and the colors.
She looks kinda sad but her sanctuary is filled with emotions.
I think Angelyrah wants to tell the world that to love true is better than True love, but she's never sure of her own thinking.
She's forever incomplete and learning, yes kinda like me, but she's not me I am not her.


this is my Princesse of chocolate mustache,such a story,in ten years again she'll make me laugh with warmth in my heart.



Fragmented Bliss in True Devotion #158

for my one a day series that is going on till 200 and then well I don't know



I cannot be severed/I am whole, too squares for one soul,one story.



that's the question of these days sometimes:
how far can I be me how far can I be home

My dear sister of soul Chantal said all the way:-)
she must be right.
Home is in my soul so I should feel safe everywhere I go.

Do I still live in my own prison.
A lovely girl at flickr made me think today.
Are the bars of my self doubts and silly fears still preventing me to go further?

I always believe in art I creatively find ways to push the limits, to always go further, to renew but in life I am also very comforted in the same.
ok let me explain this.
I am used to my life, my pseudo comfort, I mean I'm not rich I live in a small but lovely apartment with a big bathroom so luminous and wonderful place to be:)
I enjoy the countryside everytime I go out,I keep on being so aware of this luck to be here though I am damn human beings I wish I had a house, a garden,be more secure financially,independent financially...
Maybe I'd love to have babies too.
but yes I'm a new born coward:-) I fear the consequences of having a child.
responsibilities.lack of time for me, my art and my missions( laughing)

Yes you can see me as selfish or whatever you want to interprete through my words but Goddess know I'd be so very devoted to my children, I will have them.
Hopefully.

I don't know.
I just want to give myself to humanity for now.
my own ways.
Kinda like God in the morning above the clouds He wakes up and thinks ok right which person I'm gonna listen, grant wishes too, make smile, make feel , laugh etc today?

laughing.
Ok ok come on I dont really have that megalomiac Messiah syndrome?!
^___^
I just at my own level want to do something good.
It is my path.
A fact.
Something I cannot deny or do as if I'd better take care of myself first.
I do take care of myself.
I do.
It selfishly makes me happy to make another one happy.
laughing.

This life is so beautiful sometimes.
I always wonder why I ache so very much at other times.
Mood swings fae child.

so how far can I be me?
I am me.
I also believe and am aware people see illusions of me, through my art,photoshop images and poetry.
This is a percent of me, or my personas, my fictions, my emotions turned into fairytales, my passion bleeding through colorful births.

I am always freer of those images of me.
I know there will always be someone to see bad or negative things in me and my behaviours,some people will always have time to waste.
I share my positive vibes, I am far from flawless but I am quite happy to be me even if yes that's true I do happen to feel like shit or empty or lost.

I know I will always have those moments when I step back into my old self universe,because she has things to teach me still.
Just like my inner wild child fae, I will never forsake her ;-)
I am nothing without her.
I am blessed I have kept her safe with me along the year, she still shines through me making me live this life the better way for me, experiencing everything with more awareness,making peace with all judgements inside my mind etc.

I still have my anxiety disorder.
I know sometimes why.
Part of that most stupid idea we have called Guilt!
Thank God, give me five!
why did you create Guilt by the way?
it s such a waste of time and energy!

so I dig some holes to collect that vain guilt feelings and I burry.
It causes me some sleepless nights.



Title:Metallic blood tears for my marble lips hammering the muddy chaos in her garden corroding the silver threads of her nightmare filled sleepless nights

and the poem to go along:

A story without air
a story without her
a story without sense
a story without doors
without ways out
without windows
without light
Strange how your beauty is stronger than the pain
A story without me
A story with thousands I'm sorry
A story of tightrope walkers so afraid of heights
Thin line where sin lies
A story without stars
without full moon for the devil of noon
Stranger how your Light is stronger than the rain in my head
A story with no ground
A story without keys
a story with no sound
A story without words(...)

and sometimes I feel like this:


that surely makes me more like a real true human beings each day aye?




and that's me with my adorable love my so dear darling my anchor my life the one I am not sure I could live without except if he would leave me ,I'd just live in denial and pout, kidding:-)

Yes it's true I don't only love him, I adore my dearest souls, the gardeners of my heart,the precious ones I'd give anything to, they are family,friends, they mean so much to me that the only important thing to me is that they KNOW this and SEE the real me.


I won't ever look the flowers the same ways...

I truly have the best friends I've ever wanted and dreamt to have that's why I feel guilty when I cant feel alive happy and grateful though I know it s just an emotion, a phase not the person I am.

I remember the years before, where was I? who was I?
it's amazing!
I had to wait ages.
But now It's true.
Yes not perfect, they all live miles away.
Who cares?
who said everything should be perfect?
I cannot imagine this life without them.
and it feels good to know they exist.









home again
whole again
young again
fun again
free again
clean again
(extract of the cure love song)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbijjEQXWSQ&feature=related
the sound is crappy but I adore that version and her silly impro with the Hurt by Nin haha she's too cool :-)

The more I live the Happier I can feel it seems, yes I do feel quite sad at times too.
I could get stuck on these incapacities, lacks,blockages,powerlessness,flaws,guilt,fears,doubts and so forth but I just go on,move on.
I have my unborn babies inside of me so I always have a thousands reasons to go on.to keep loving and living and making any sorts of artworks I want to do.

I regret a little my lack of ambition ,organisation all the things that makes me feel like a loser at times, I am sorry to myself, but I try to compensate with other things.
I better live on love/emotions than money.
Yes forever hopeless romantic dreamer.
That does not mean I can't handle the real world.
I do what I have to do now, what I feel is the right alley for me.
I guess it does me good:


title: Interview Express

- helenina do you have a moment please?
-why not?
-so tell me helenina have you found your smile back today?
-sure...did I lose it?(smiling mischievously)
-well you sound so very sad sometimes...
-it's just life emotions, I'm going with the flow you know(smiling pensively)
-how do you feel about all the kind messages you receive everyday?
(giggling)
-it feels good, I am not sure what to think though, I'm just me and sometimes strangely enough I feel I have the world on my shoulder and that I have to take care of others surely why I'm aching so bad tonight...
-Do you care at all?
-I do, I am so blessed, everyone who stop on my soul I'm quite thankful, I bless them, they help me bear my own self( laughing loud) I'm just kidding I have made peace with her now, old stories( smiling)
-But sometimes some find you agressive?
-they do? oh come on look at me ( lamb eyes ^_^)
ok ok I am sorry, blame it on my mood swings and also I get the feeling I cannot do everything that I want so I am frustrated, I really love to listen to people's stories and see how I can help, it's just that I really can not save the world...sometimes I look at me from outside and I say " come girl aren't you insane or what?"
I do spread myself too thin, leaves me energyless and grumpy, but I love human beings truly and my dearest friends so very dearly...
-you're a good soul
-they say so...but you see those teeth ( wink) it says don't cross the line...
(laughing again)
- so how is your new life as a witch in Houdan's Dungeon?
- I like it. Look at the view so beautiful...the more I walk here the less I imagine a life in a city, I surely would die...I need nature!
-any projects ?
-well I'm trying to get more published,things like that, but this life has chosen to make me receive always more love than money so I take what life gives to me...Honestly you know what I prefer ( mischievous wink)
- okay I won't take more of your time, just a last question perhaps?
-sure
-where was it?
Laughing and waving goodbye in her silent smile...




When I do those vintage effects on my pictures I am obviously or not(laughing pathetic me) inspired by Gary Isaac's style who is a god of Photography to me.

I admire so many photographers they are a true inspiration and a blessing for the eyes that feels further the image.
I sometimes wish I'll be as good as them.
I am improving and I am soon going to buy a better camera.
Perhaps this weekend,I keep on thinking and alas I need a new a washing machine, the one we have seems broken.











Houdan(quite glad of this kinda panoramic view)
isn't it such a lovely frenchy town lost in the countryside?
^_^




That makes me want to buy a bike to ride everywhere, to ride and stop somewhere for a pic nic with my sebastien.
Perhaps we'll do that as soon as we can afford to buy bikes.
In the meantime we have nice walk outs.


I love that little summer dress, I have it since my 17 years old ;-)
(boasting off ;-)
haha

I truly have so much more to say.
I keep on being the witness of beauty in everything, I don't have tv since we've moved it the wires have a problems it seems.
so I am awfully unaware about politics problems wars hungers and all drama or reality.
Do I miss it?
I don't know.

Yesterday feeling so bad, in physical pain I watched some dvd Dawson's creek.
Don't laugh.
I will forever adore that tv show, shamelessly.
Made me feel oh God how life flies, how lovely teen times can look sometimes but of course yes I remember the horror of it too ;-)

Yet I believe sometimes My life is like a book that has to be written,full of fantastic stories that always look so incredible, magical,one of a kind, my paper journal is made of thousands memories and remembering and also quest for more understanding, more balance, more sharing always.

My paper journal is made of all the things I don't feel like sharing here, I am blessed to be an artist and to have this life.
I just hope I can live that way much longer and that it's indeed always happier and better.
It does seem so ;)
I love it!