jeudi 8 novembre 2007

feeling so uncomfortable...

I feel quite lonely and I have ruined two canvas...
I hope I can save them.we'll see that tomorrow.
I've had a rather bad day.
Some friends think they will cheer me saying they've got vertigo for a long time like me but instead of this,they worry me and discourage me.

I have tried to remain positive but now it's been more than a week, I have this in my daily life and it's no fun.
It really depresses me and it begins to worry me with questions, sick questions...what if it's worse?


Thinking of You

so not ready to say goodbye
so not ready to close my eyes
Too much to pour from the depths of my core
Flowers of spice tasting like seraphins wings
Flowers of candy tasting like witch dresses

I wish I could run above the sky and tear a piece of peace
My little feet wander on some thin lines
too many feet above the ground
Will I fall now will I crash down
I am not ready to turn the page

I am tearing up my summer dresses
And I wish I could stop remembering
Half my brain is like a waterfall of chaos
Fusion of Darkness & Colorful autumn leaves

which way to go
I cannot close the door
Heavy heavy like my heart
Even silence is frozen

unravelling petals and fraying stars
The glow is on absent mode
I am not ready to say goodbye
Too many things to love
I cannot already run dry

My fountain of hearts rains down
Liquid magic I cannot shut my mouth
I don't want to die
Angels send me the warmth embrace to heal


(...)
Vertigo 1.0 fucked up
You'll rescue me right...
I am not a Pretty girl
My electricity

more photos at my flickr

for those interested I have interviewed the great and so inspiring Debrina Pratt:

Here the interview

I have two other fantastic artists to interview, but I'm going slowly really.
I am not myself
I am beginning to feel crankier each day because it's boring to feel the sensations I feel right now

I need a good movie, good food, a good laughter and better sleep.
I keep telling myself, tomorrow will be better.
I am so sad because I had to go meet Isabelle tomorrow and with that fucking vertigo I can't risk to take the car :(
Goddess I'm feeling so lonely....

6 commentaires:

Susan Tuttle a dit…

Cool, beautiful pix! I love the new look of your blog as well (been a while since I visited your world as well).

I had vertigo for a few months, especially when I was driving (not bad enough to have to pull over though). It stopped in a couple of months and nothing was wrong with me. My Dad has bad vertigo problems, but docs can't find anything wrong with him either. Try not to worry--I'm sure it will clear up.

Susan
xo

lily cherry a dit…

Hello helen, you're not alone,I repeat you the same. Just have to try to let go all the thisngs you think could be the cause of this. Let them go.. just let them. Crying if you want,( but it's worst I think) dancing, walking, writtting,... try to remember all your life and find where the problem began. Talk with your guide, remember this;
open your heart and breath.. slowly, your brain needs oxygen, clean and white.All the diseases are in our mind.
Yesterday a dear friend told me to remember one of the teachings of Buddha...the impermanence...

hugs to you,

(I feel better today... so I can help you today...)

Hélène Deroubaix a dit…

thank you very much for your kind words alejandra:)
glad you are feeling better
I think my vertigo is making me feel this way, because I just can not do much and I still can't just do nothing and have this impression of wasting time you know...
blessings to you***

Zenmomma a dit…

I haven't been by in awhile. Sorry you're feeling poorly. I hope you feel better soon. Lovely pics though.

jen a dit…

i did not see this days ago when you posted it, as i was in the midst of feeling rather poorly, too...

i hope this is soon a memory that fades away...

i miss you

if i may say, i hope you are feeling better today...sincerely

The Lone Beader a dit…

There is no such thing as a ruined canvas. Stitch beads to them like I do... that should fix 'em=:)