But I am handling it. I must say I feel really good today.
I feel Huge,Heavy and have got such a beautiful way to walk now ^___^;;
Anyways I hardly go out right now, just to go down the stairs would make me all out of breath!;)
It's really cold outside now anyways and I really don't want to get sick.
On saturday we're seeing the gyno for the monthly appointment.
Always hoping everything's fine:)
But it seems that everything is fine as she is moving a lot and keep puting on weight:)
I am entering the 7th month of pregnancy and the last trimester, it's wonderful!
And soon next week sebastien will have some holidays so we can have some good time together, comfortable in the warmth of our home, finishing to decorate our daughter's room to make it look more like a baby's room :)
I am very happy also because lately I have met two young mothers( one to be) and one with a newborn, so I am making friends in real life, girls who can relate and share with me.
I am very glad to get to know them, we have lots in common and we will be able next year to go out with our babies, take pictures, do any kind of activities together.
I am looking forward to this!
I am aware that 2010 many of my dreams will come true and this is so exciting!
the more we come closer to March the more excited I am going to be!!!
^______^
Dear God, I feel I have been waiting for this moment my whole life!
and I am going to be a stay at home mom, at least for the first years, we'll see how things go later.
But my closest friends and most people who know me are aware that it was my dream, to be there for my children, not to miss a thing, to take good care of my family.
I am definetly an indoor kitty =^_^=
but I also love to hang out in the nature of course and with my baby I will do that a lot.
It's another thing that will change in my life.
I will be more balance with going out and staying home with some self time too.
I used to be such a recluse artist!
I have lived so many years inside, and it taught me a lot of course but I know part of me wanted to go outside, that's also why I have spread myself so thin to too many people, I know I have a lot to offer and share and now I am going to do this in a healthy way :)
I am also very glad because sebastien is building a website for our daughter :)
It's going to be really lovely and so kawaii, exactly what I love!
I hope we'll find time to update it now and then!
I guess I'll be able to update it with the thousands pictures I am going to take of my baby girl...
I am on cloud nine and even higher, sometimes I even feel ill at ease to share my excitement, my wonder, my enthusiasm because I know what naysayers can think or say,but who cares?
The important is to enjoy this here and now!
and I am quite sure a lot of my friends derive joy from mine as I do from them, or even can feel so very sad when they hurt too.
Sebastien is helping me a lot and I am so grateful for this, because at this time I really have to be careful, baby has to stay inside till at least the end of February.
In two months from now she can come out whenever she likes, but it would be better in the beginning of March :)
Anyways my arms are wide open and ready to give her so many hugs and so much love!
ha!
Ha there is something I don't like at all it's when she seems to have the hiccup, this repetitive movement is a bit unpleasant and stressful... I always wonder is she okay?
I keep loving to "ruin",destroy pictures with textures that make them look blurier, vintage or just used you know.
it gives a fragile atmosphere , the emotion behind imperfection,that's what I like!
my belly is bigger now but on the front we cannot see it that much!
but I love the purity and tenderness of these pictures!
I would love to do a photoshoot of my pregnancy with sebastien,maybe we'll do this during the holidays but really have so many things to do that it won't be the priority!
we really have things to tidy,fix, put curtains, decorate the apartment etc
I am tired of the white walls, I want some posters etc
*****
I also wanted to take the time to answer my own questions from my other blog to share my thoughts and how I see and live things now
1)How are you connected to your own spirituality?Do you take some time to think about your reasons to be there, your life purpose?
are you in touch with divine messages you could receive through your dreams,signs in your daily life and do you take time to interprete them and find the guidance you need through them?
Of course I am deeply connected to my own spirituality,but it does not mean I am living on spiritual mod all the time, I can still just let go, have my vain moments and live in the more practical things of life.
i guess it's a question of balance.
I mean if I were to become only a stay at home mom with severing the spiritual and artistic part of my life I would not be happy and balanced.
We cannot be cut , once we know that we do the thing we need to find a balance to sort of do it all :)
What? I sound idealistic?
I am definetly a realistic dreamer ;)
When there's a will there's a way, and it's much better to find ways to get a better organisation of one's life instead of forever complaining about the lack of this and that, that's way too sad, why live this way forever?what's the point?
naysayers will say find me a solution if you think it's so easy.
I never said it was easy, but I have seen many happy stay at home mom who were still creative spiritual and in bloom in every aspect of their life.
Anything is possible!
Even if some day we feel upset because we could not do all the things we wanted, well the best is to prioritize.
The essential.
I am more and more aware of my life purpose.
I live with this awareness of all the possibilities,it helps me expand my mind and liberate my spirit, it allows me to believe in some kind of freedom.
And I have a thousands reasons to be there!
So many things to be grateful in my life!
I am always looking forward, life keeps on getting better.
I do believe the fact I think positive helps a lot in the way my life has changed for the best!
Law of attraction!
And yes I am finding guidance in the divine messages I get through dreams,signs, little things that happen that we call coincidences, I believe things happen for a reason.
We can really learn so much about ourselves while listening to what our dreams or nightmares say at night.
It's like when you're on a bad day and you just turn on the tv or radio and there is a song with words that can comfort you or make you think further.
signs are everywhere to be found if we keep our eyes open.
Also when we meet strangers and have a deep conversation with them, this short sharing can be meaningful.
2)How do you feel inside right now?
What is at this precise time your essential?What are you living for? what makes you want to wake up in the morning?
if you lack of reasons to wake up in the morning how can you improve that?
Can you find the present blessings in your situation at the moment?
Well I feel many things, but the most is made of excitement!
I want to open my xmas gifts:))) like a child ^_____^
I want to treat my loved ones and see their smile or know they were pleased with what I found for them:)
I enjoy simple things, inviting friends at home to talk and have some tea, reading, watching a good desperate housewives ^_^ with my love!
Cooking for friends:)chatting with friendly women in pregnancy forums and sharing our good or bad days,writing letters...
I am glad this year is ending taking away all the ends the sorrows the things that taught us and made us grow so we can begin anew!
I am very happy with the way things are, I enjoy the moment even if I am so impatient!I wont ever take a moment of my daughter's life for granted!
This will be preciousssss ;)
I believe we are human, even if we dont want to age and run after time, we all can feel eager when something like this , giving birth to our first child is going to happen, it's amazing!
My essential is my family!the people I care about, my friends too.
I am living for all the thing I love and want to share!
I wake up in the morning complaining most of the time ahah because of the pregnancy!
I wake up very early around 6 O' clock sometimes earlier when I ache too much and cannot stay in bed.
But most of the time I feel good, I am glad to see my sweetheart to be able to spend more time with him( I wasn't a morning person so before he used to wake up alone and have breakfast alone and go to work in the cold) it is much better now, to have this moment,to share our dreams, to talk about Nina etc.
3)Do you have a clear and honest inner communication?do you kindly take the time to listen to your self as you would do with your own best friend?
Do you take the time to "give kind comments/compliments" to your self like you would do to your own best friend?
Can you listen and apply the advice you would take the time to kindly give to your own best friend?
Yes I try my best to listen to what's inside and even more now that I am pregnant, somehow I am communicating also with my daughter, we are so linked at this moment!
So I try to see where the emotions I feel come from, for instance the mood swings, suddenly I feel depressed and lonely and I have to just welcome the emotions and let go and be aware that it's just a moment,it's the fatigue and the pregnancy.
Nothing to worry about.
Most of the time I end up feeling better by the end of the day or the next day!
I often used to live in a too self neglected way listening and caring about others before myself, my own emotions etc
Now I listen to myself like I would for another person.
I always love to listen to others and be able to have the words that can solace them, I know now that I can also do this with me.
I just have to put some distance and I end up finding the words I need to hear :)
It's good to be in a gentle touch with oneself so much more healthy!
We can see in community or forum of depressive people , a lot of them being able to cheer up the others and they cannot give themselves the same words and advice that's such a pity!
I used to be there.
I listened to others and was very depressed at times.
Finally all I needed was to know the healer needs healing too at times, and we can be both!
As the teacher keeps being taught, by others, the world, other teachers, the universe, life and so forth.
I was so bad at applying my own advice and I know now how hypocrite it can be and that's such a way to betray one's thinking and also to not to be true to oneself.
it is not easy to always be in the positive thinking and to have the words, it's normal to need to complain, feel sorry for oneself but it's important to stop before we get stuck in some kind of survival mod, we cannot fake things or we just end up abandonning ourselves, such a sad thing!
And I am not judging people saying so, it's just something sad to see people wasting time when life is so short.
Sometimes they need reminders like a death around them to react ,a shocking things to bear in mind that it's very important to make the best of the time we have now.
Life is big, life is now and whatever you want can begin now if you decide, just with you making some kind of contract with yourself and go for it, go where you want to go,one day at a time!
