Entering the Last Trimester!I can't believe this wow :)

Finally right now it seems it went by so fast, in spite of the pain and fatigue ,but still have the last trimester to do which is often said to be the worse one because we get impatient and less and less sleep!

But I am handling it. I must say I feel really good today.
I feel Huge,Heavy and have got such a beautiful way to walk now ^___^;;
Anyways I hardly go out right now, just to go down the stairs would make me all out of breath!;)

It's really cold outside now anyways and I really don't want to get sick.
On saturday we're seeing the gyno for the monthly appointment.
Always hoping everything's fine:)
But it seems that everything is fine as she is moving a lot and keep puting on weight:)

I am entering the 7th month of pregnancy and the last trimester, it's wonderful!
And soon next week sebastien will have some holidays so we can have some good time together, comfortable in the warmth of our home, finishing to decorate our daughter's room to make it look more like a baby's room :)

I am very happy also because lately I have met two young mothers( one to be) and one with a newborn, so I am making friends in real life, girls who can relate and share with me.
I am very glad to get to know them, we have lots in common and we will be able next year to go out with our babies, take pictures, do any kind of activities together.
I am looking forward to this!

I am aware that 2010 many of my dreams will come true and this is so exciting!
the more we come closer to March the more excited I am going to be!!!
^______^
Dear God, I feel I have been waiting for this moment my whole life!

and I am going to be a stay at home mom, at least for the first years, we'll see how things go later.
But my closest friends and most people who know me are aware that it was my dream, to be there for my children, not to miss a thing, to take good care of my family.
I am definetly an indoor kitty =^_^=
but I also love to hang out in the nature of course and with my baby I will do that a lot.
It's another thing that will change in my life.
I will be more balance with going out and staying home with some self time too.
I used to be such a recluse artist!

I have lived so many years inside, and it taught me a lot of course but I know part of me wanted to go outside, that's also why I have spread myself so thin to too many people, I know I have a lot to offer and share and now I am going to do this in a healthy way :)

I am also very glad because sebastien is building a website for our daughter :)
It's going to be really lovely and so kawaii, exactly what I love!
I hope we'll find time to update it now and then!
I guess I'll be able to update it with the thousands pictures I am going to take of my baby girl...

I am on cloud nine and even higher, sometimes I even feel ill at ease to share my excitement, my wonder, my enthusiasm because I know what naysayers can think or say,but who cares?
The important is to enjoy this here and now!

and I am quite sure a lot of my friends derive joy from mine as I do from them, or even can feel so very sad when they hurt too.

Sebastien is helping me a lot and I am so grateful for this, because at this time I really have to be careful, baby has to stay inside till at least the end of February.

In two months from now she can come out whenever she likes, but it would be better in the beginning of March :)

Anyways my arms are wide open and ready to give her so many hugs and so much love!
ha!

Ha there is something I don't like at all it's when she seems to have the hiccup, this repetitive movement is a bit unpleasant and stressful... I always wonder is she okay?





I keep loving to "ruin",destroy pictures with textures that make them look blurier, vintage or just used you know.
it gives a fragile atmosphere , the emotion behind imperfection,that's what I like!




my belly is bigger now but on the front we cannot see it that much!
but I love the purity and tenderness of these pictures!











I would love to do a photoshoot of my pregnancy with sebastien,maybe we'll do this during the holidays but really have so many things to do that it won't be the priority!
we really have things to tidy,fix, put curtains, decorate the apartment etc
I am tired of the white walls, I want some posters etc

*****



I also wanted to take the time to answer my own questions from my other blog to share my thoughts and how I see and live things now


1)How are you connected to your own spirituality?Do you take some time to think about your reasons to be there, your life purpose?
are you in touch with divine messages you could receive through your dreams,signs in your daily life and do you take time to interprete them and find the guidance you need through them?

Of course I am deeply connected to my own spirituality,but it does not mean I am living on spiritual mod all the time, I can still just let go, have my vain moments and live in the more practical things of life.
i guess it's a question of balance.
I mean if I were to become only a stay at home mom with severing the spiritual and artistic part of my life I would not be happy and balanced.
We cannot be cut , once we know that we do the thing we need to find a balance to sort of do it all :)

What? I sound idealistic?
I am definetly a realistic dreamer ;)
When there's a will there's a way, and it's much better to find ways to get a better organisation of one's life instead of forever complaining about the lack of this and that, that's way too sad, why live this way forever?what's the point?
naysayers will say find me a solution if you think it's so easy.

I never said it was easy, but I have seen many happy stay at home mom who were still creative spiritual and in bloom in every aspect of their life.
Anything is possible!

Even if some day we feel upset because we could not do all the things we wanted, well the best is to prioritize.
The essential.

I am more and more aware of my life purpose.
I live with this awareness of all the possibilities,it helps me expand my mind and liberate my spirit, it allows me to believe in some kind of freedom.

And I have a thousands reasons to be there!
So many things to be grateful in my life!
I am always looking forward, life keeps on getting better.
I do believe the fact I think positive helps a lot in the way my life has changed for the best!

Law of attraction!

And yes I am finding guidance in the divine messages I get through dreams,signs, little things that happen that we call coincidences, I believe things happen for a reason.
We can really learn so much about ourselves while listening to what our dreams or nightmares say at night.
It's like when you're on a bad day and you just turn on the tv or radio and there is a song with words that can comfort you or make you think further.
signs are everywhere to be found if we keep our eyes open.

Also when we meet strangers and have a deep conversation with them, this short sharing can be meaningful.



2)How do you feel inside right now?
What is at this precise time your essential?What are you living for? what makes you want to wake up in the morning?
if you lack of reasons to wake up in the morning how can you improve that?
Can you find the present blessings in your situation at the moment?


Well I feel many things, but the most is made of excitement!
I want to open my xmas gifts:))) like a child ^_____^
I want to treat my loved ones and see their smile or know they were pleased with what I found for them:)
I enjoy simple things, inviting friends at home to talk and have some tea, reading, watching a good desperate housewives ^_^ with my love!
Cooking for friends:)chatting with friendly women in pregnancy forums and sharing our good or bad days,writing letters...

I am glad this year is ending taking away all the ends the sorrows the things that taught us and made us grow so we can begin anew!
I am very happy with the way things are, I enjoy the moment even if I am so impatient!I wont ever take a moment of my daughter's life for granted!
This will be preciousssss ;)

I believe we are human, even if we dont want to age and run after time, we all can feel eager when something like this , giving birth to our first child is going to happen, it's amazing!

My essential is my family!the people I care about, my friends too.
I am living for all the thing I love and want to share!

I wake up in the morning complaining most of the time ahah because of the pregnancy!
I wake up very early around 6 O' clock sometimes earlier when I ache too much and cannot stay in bed.
But most of the time I feel good, I am glad to see my sweetheart to be able to spend more time with him( I wasn't a morning person so before he used to wake up alone and have breakfast alone and go to work in the cold) it is much better now, to have this moment,to share our dreams, to talk about Nina etc.


3)Do you have a clear and honest inner communication?do you kindly take the time to listen to your self as you would do with your own best friend?
Do you take the time to "give kind comments/compliments" to your self like you would do to your own best friend?
Can you listen and apply the advice you would take the time to kindly give to your own best friend?

Yes I try my best to listen to what's inside and even more now that I am pregnant, somehow I am communicating also with my daughter, we are so linked at this moment!
So I try to see where the emotions I feel come from, for instance the mood swings, suddenly I feel depressed and lonely and I have to just welcome the emotions and let go and be aware that it's just a moment,it's the fatigue and the pregnancy.
Nothing to worry about.
Most of the time I end up feeling better by the end of the day or the next day!

I often used to live in a too self neglected way listening and caring about others before myself, my own emotions etc
Now I listen to myself like I would for another person.
I always love to listen to others and be able to have the words that can solace them, I know now that I can also do this with me.
I just have to put some distance and I end up finding the words I need to hear :)
It's good to be in a gentle touch with oneself so much more healthy!

We can see in community or forum of depressive people , a lot of them being able to cheer up the others and they cannot give themselves the same words and advice that's such a pity!
I used to be there.
I listened to others and was very depressed at times.
Finally all I needed was to know the healer needs healing too at times, and we can be both!

As the teacher keeps being taught, by others, the world, other teachers, the universe, life and so forth.

I was so bad at applying my own advice and I know now how hypocrite it can be and that's such a way to betray one's thinking and also to not to be true to oneself.
it is not easy to always be in the positive thinking and to have the words, it's normal to need to complain, feel sorry for oneself but it's important to stop before we get stuck in some kind of survival mod, we cannot fake things or we just end up abandonning ourselves, such a sad thing!
And I am not judging people saying so, it's just something sad to see people wasting time when life is so short.
Sometimes they need reminders like a death around them to react ,a shocking things to bear in mind that it's very important to make the best of the time we have now.


Life is big, life is now and whatever you want can begin now if you decide, just with you making some kind of contract with yourself and go for it, go where you want to go,one day at a time!

Sacral chakra questions & sharings

Hey you, expecting results without effort! So sensitive! So long-suffering! You, in the clutches of death, acting like an immortal! Hey sufferer, you are destroying yourself!

-Santideva, Bodhicaryavatara

My interpretation of this buddhism wisdom quote is that yes we suffer but why dwelling in the darkness?why just living a life of endless lamentation drowning the beauty and sacredness of our soul in our pool of bitter tears.
Seize the day baby!
It's time to dry your tears and go right back towards the Light of being alive above Life itself ^______^

Did I knock my head today?
well each day of this month I found excuses to cheer myself up,oh seb can I buy chocolate to cheer me up? this stone!!! I need moldavite it'll change my life!
why not buy these biscuits I could do with some sugar I feel so lonely and gloomy!
oh and this cd!! it'll cheer me up for sure I need happy sounds to awoke the sleeping fae child in me, she fought with the blue muse( the brat inside of me) and so she decided to hibernate and let me alone so alone!
wake up wake up for Goddess sake! I can not be left alone!

I need to play ^_^ yessssss
I love to play
all day in my room :)

I bought Kate Nash cd today,it's been ages I haven't bought a cd(I am poor I can't afford it:P) and had forgotten the sweetness of music and how it inspires you, how you see landscapes and can run away in these worlds, remember some of your childhood fairy realms and light rekindle the sparks inside of you and summer is not gone NEVER!!!
oh and I can smell gently the magical scents of Mister Springtime...

ah Springtime Springtime hug me you're my favourite most friendly character in the universe!!!^_______^;;
I am sighing aaaaaaaaah
I deny all snowflakes or I'll turn them pink :P
oh and that mean shade of cold eeeeeek under blankets of lavender who cares?

naaaah Winter's not my friend, don't even mention December
she and I are crossed since a few years now...
Maybe this year could be the year of Peace?
should I forget forgive?
I don't think it's the year...I got this feeling that anyways December has always a missing part, a huge one.
My daughter.
The one to be born.
the one who is already there in the future ^_^

ah sighs, am I really ready to be a good mother?
I constantly doubt on this...for my artist selfish alone time needs and such...

Well, it's my third week of vertigo, feel tired but keep fighting and not let myself get depressed:-)
I am stronger, I just hope it'll soon be a bad memory:P

Now I would like to do the chakra thinking inspired by Mich's blog, you can find it:
here virtual circle


hey sisters and brothers,you can still do the chakra test
so you can play with us and answer the questions:-)
do share with me, I am curious to know:-)


Ok so today it's about the sacral chakra and mine is over active surely because I live in Emotional worlds ;-)



Healing essence of the sacral chakra

Located in our lower belly, it is where we relate to our bodies through the procreative centers. Through a healthy second chakra one can heal relationship problems, transform deep and hurtful emotions, and balance life.

Keywords: Life Energy, Creative, Procreative, Giving, Receiving, Inner Truth

Affirmations to practice this week:

* I make my decisions from a place of hope and faith.
* My creative drive is strong and exciting.
* My sexuality is fulfilling and meaningful.
* I am life.

Those of you who have bought Anodea Judith's Chakra Balancing Kit can move on to their workbooks, and if you like, blog your responses and link back to this post.

For those of you who don't have the book but would like to know a bit more about the first chakra, visit Anodea Judith's site and answer the questions below:

1. Do you express your emotions clearly and honestly?
Yes I do ^_^
well It's not easy to say aloud " I love you" because it's precious and important and I am very cold with that sentence so it sounds never sincere when I utter it, I am very awkward with " I love you"
I write it easily to the one who touch my heart, but I believe in Here and now of emotions.
There are obviously persons I declare I love and it ll be absolute truth and unchangeable come what may.
but I also love to allow myself to send love to sweet souls because here and now I care for them etc.

I express my anger, frustration,discontentement very easily too and my loved ones feel it at once! ^_^
even with distance and just emails.
I am very expressive, I don't believe in hiding emotions.
Yet sometimes I need to hide my sadness.
If I am hurt I may react more with indifference and coldness or anger sometimes,but smart anger then ;o)
I reply through art and creations.
I am honest, I don't mind being seen naked soul, it doesn't make me weaker but stronger I believe.
Perhaps because a lot of people are scared to show who they are and to be seen.
I guess there is something kind of careless in my attitude, I just do express who I am because I feel like it, I need it, I am expression, I am emotion...

I don't mind being ridiculous, silly,weak and whatnot:P
knowing that whatever I do my beloved ones trust and support and love me is my strength.I owe them.


2. Are you in touch with what you truly feel?
Yes, I always know I love and I am loved and it's beautiful.
I am lucky for this.
I know it because I remember loneliness, years of solitude and when I had to love seb in the distance as he was a penpal at first...2 years and a half, leaving at the station, me crying louder everytime!
I know the blessings of hugging and kissing everyday ;)

ok I won't lie, some people in the past told me the couple was torture!
that living together is a real challenge!
It is.
We have lived tough times.
It taught us a lot.
seb should remember to surprise me a little more so I'll stay forever ;)( kidding)

I am very connected to my feelings, and most of the time when I feel it,now I understand even better.
I was not that aware of all chakra to be honest, it's interesting to learn!
when I feel insulted, hurt,angry or in love,touched, I feel it there, like a wave of different sensations...


3. Do you set appropriate boundaries for yourself and in relation to others?

I don't know, it depends to who others are.
with some friends I am very in closeness and I don't have secrets for them, for my parents I never had secrets either...
I tell everything to seb,I bore him with all my thoughts ahah ;-)
I m joking of course I dont ^___^;;

well the limits are drawn at the entrance of my soul garden for sure.
I may look and sound as if I give it all about me, because I am honest real and sharing who I am but I still have my secret garden, my secrets dreams,flowers, magick,fantasies and such...no worries.

There are limits, I do protect myself, I believe my brain is my shield.
I know what is real and what is not. I am safe.

4. What pleasurable activites do you bring into your life?
art, writing,poetry,singing,painting,taking pictures, a lot of creative passions.
I take a lot of pleasure in the activites.
I think that poetry singing and painting are very sensual, sexual things in my life.
There is something very touching in words and every word lovers will agree with me.
The beauty,depths and intelligence of words/poetry/writing is orgasmic.
The same for painting, it's soothing pleasure, healing...


5. Do you move towards change and new experiences, or are you resistant?
I do move towards change and new experiences a lot but there big changes that still sometimes afraid me a bit.
I have an adventurous spirits, I am very shy and introvert but I love trying new things, experimenting.
but I am resistant too in the fact I love stability and things that will so called never changed but evolve in time.
Both are fine with me.
I can't wait for the big change of moving, but until now all apartment we're trying to visit are already rented alas.
I just hope I will be able to choose my life and location this time!
I haven t chosen my life here in Cambrai, my heart lead me here and of course I don't regret at all because I learnt, grew and evolved thanks to this path.
I guess we are where we are meant to be.


6. What are your passions?

intellectual,literarian, sensual and creative matters are my passions.Mystic, esoteric and beautiful things fascinate me so much.
I am in love with art making and writing, my big passions.



7. Do you value your own feelings and respond to them?
Well it depends, sometimes my feelings are way too immense like the ocean.I do express too much. My love for others makes me sometimes vulnerable, I feel what they feel,they affect me and my world.
But I love the feeling of love it is very nurturing and a big inspiration to me.
I listen to my heart,if my hearts say Love I will.
I don't live in denial. I may have been hurt and betrayed and abandonned a lot in the past, this year has opened me and taught me to trust more and allow myself to be wrong and to be naive if it has to be naive;)
I dont think it's naive to allow oneself to love, life is too short and if we meet like minded souls on our path it's good to welcome and recognize them:)
it's a warm feeling of déjà vu:)












Passion that makes you giggle
Passion that makes you blush
Petals after petals never seen red like this
Sweet Loving Madness and will o' the wisp of fantasies
Her hearth heart was always on fire
Flowers of flames was sighing innamoramento chants
She was alive running barefoot in the alleys of cinders
Everything rekindling after her footsteps
Some souls would dangerously verge the fall into her mist of dreams
But the ones who dared
They were carved in her heart deeply always and forever
She would take them by the hands to the infinite horizon
Where the heart shaped apples were sparkling and mesmerizing
She would innocently hand them the fruit of Desire
so they could taste heaven and never ever leave her heart Garden...

(....)
morning improvisation ^____^;; mwahahahahah( there should be some kind of evil witch laughter at the end of this one :P)

Everything is as it is. It has no name other than the name we give it. It is we who call it something; we give it a value. We say this thing is good or it's bad, but in itself, the thing is only as it is. It's not absolute; it's just as it is. People are just as they are.

-Ajahn Sumedho, "The Mind and the Way"

***Awakened Aphrodite & womb of potential***

so here above is my Illustration Friday:The blues

I have many other ideas, I had a funny idea well just me laugh( cheap humour)
The blues sisters ^_^
with crazy nuns making great blues( an Echo to my love sébastien's funny graphic illustration)Seb's blog
Go check and laugh and put a nice comment to him ^_^if you enjoy his work ^_^

so mine is a little girl an epitomy of Empathy.
She is carrying the pain of the world on her frail wings.
her big heart bleeds.
so it's Blue for Red.
Peace for all this violence.

I had in mind the Free Burma campaign and petition of course.



But I am someone who don't feel it's so right to suddenly wake up and fight for a cause, unite, do your little two cents to show you care.
I feel it's kind of cheap
yeah I may sound cynical but let me explain.
In fact I just remember there is not just Burma that is suffering now!
It's just Because fucking news on Tv talk about it all the time.

I mean we don't talk each day about all women who are rapped killed or absuded by the ir husband or strangers in the streets.
We don't talk about all the children in the world who are suffering each day, with sexual tourism because they have to work to get money to get food etc etc

so my work is to spread peace and empathy on each kind of red violence and pain.
I'm sometimes a bit hopeless or too realistic I don't know how to put it but oh well
I do not believe in Universal Peace.
I think we have to bear in mind there will always be violence and cruelty for free or not but that shouldn't prevent us from doing a little gesture, giving a little, uniting, spreading the positive thinking and making a little change happen, even how tiny it may be.

I also think that's why we have to bear in mind that we have to begin Peace Inside us and in Our Home to be totally real and sincere in our giving.

I say so because I remember my self hatred in the Past and the fact I loved lost souls and tried to save them, I couldn't collect all the pieces of my broken self but I pretended I could help others?
Maybe I did nice things of course but I am sorry for the way I had been so cruel to myself and for having abandonned myself oh so many times mostly because of rejections and the way people looked at me, the way boys left me all the time :(((((
(kidding I am quite healed from that mwhahahahaahh ;oP)

Tant pis pour eux,tant mieux pour moi ^____^(kidding)

Now I want to catch upon all questions by Mich
Here virtual circle

Because I love this blog of spiritual souls and soul searching/analyzing:)

How are you honouring yourself?

We are the mirror, as well as the face in it.
We are tasting the taste of eternity this minute.
We are pain and what cures pain.
We are the sweet cold water and the jar that pours. Soul of the world, no life, nor world remain,
no beautiful women and men longing.
Only this ancient love circling the holy black stone of nothing.
Where the lover is the loved, the horizon and everything within it.
Rumi

"The path into Awakened Aphrodite’s embrace entails constant discernment, for She embodies the truth of real love.

No longer does She confuse mere seduction, which is fear-based, with love, which knows no fear.

Loving and kind to all women and men, She refuses to perpetuate the competitive and jealous ways of others.

She is at home in Her physical body and grateful for the gift of life. She shares this joy with all around Her. She attracts many things to herself, yet knows the path of discrimination.

Take time for yourself. Sleep when you need to, vacation and play when it is appropriate. Do not overwork or bury yourself in competitive work habits.

Awakened Aphrodite accepts life.

Live life fully. Above all else, do not be afraid to love completely and honestly. Honour thyself and love will return one thousand times over."(words by Mich)

This is oh so true.
I have arrived to a path of being a lot more aware of what LOVE is, true love, not just the couple, the love in everything everyone that can have different forms.

I am honouring myself with so many things.
I think this year I have been closer to my inner self than ever
I have found that balance and comfort in taking care of myself loving myself without being selfish or just self centered.
I am at peace with that really!

I am honouring myself playing with my inner Fae Child and letting her pop anytime she feels like it.
I know there is a time for work and a time to play:)
I balance this very well and of course I am very lucky to be a full time artist( in spite of the lack of money it implies ahah)because I can play working ahhaha ;);)


I'm honouring myself with being the real me always not denying not hiding and enjoying to give pieces of me here and there.
I have time for me and time for my beloved ones time for art/work, time for passion,time for fun time for humanity time for others .

I am respecting myself truly and am accepting any kind of rejections.
I don't mind being hated for me.
It hurts a second because you're emotional but then it doesn't kill.

I m quite glad of the freedom I give to myself, this allowing of freedom of being me of saying stupid things of being silly of maybe looking ridiculous weird or plain, all this makes me feel so alive and fearless.
For I know no matter what I'll be loved as I love and pour my soul.



How shall I begin my song
in the blue night that is setting?
In the great night
my heart will go out;
toward me the darkness comes, rattling;
in the great night my heart will go out.
Papago Medicine Woman Chant


How are you stepping out of the norm and opening yourself to new opportunities?


that second question by Mich is very interesting and synchro again.
I'm greatly evolving according to those questions.
Because since this summer I have opened many New doors to potentials to possibilites and of course to freedom of being the complete me.

It's very empowering in a way, I do feel stronger and have grown a better self confidence.
Oh I'm still very shy and do doubt my work now and then of course but I have a softer look on everything I do/I am.

so I'm definetly stepping out of the norm with my thinking, freedom of speech, frankness and honesty.
My pictures too are out of the norm,outsider works, especially the retouched one/artworks:













That last picture is a bit off limits ^_^
it's called cosmic fuck

yeah maybe for English speaking people it must sound rude or violent I don't know,but to me it really belongs to a poetical imagery of sensuality.
Here is the poem that goes along:-)


Des étoiles pleins les yeux qui léchent nos coeurs amoureux
Des comètes pleines d'un Feu indéchiffrable et mystérieux
Tes lèvres déposent un baiser aux portes des fleurs d'une autre galaxie
Le même écho encore et encore
Un espace immense où notre Ivresse s'étale
Aucun Trou noir ne nous aspirent
Nous les remplissons de jus de supernova
Les astres tournoient
Tout scintille pour toi et moi
L'infini existe dans ce mélange cosmique
Bien au dessus de la voûte céleste nous flottons
Tu respires au plus profond de mon âme
Larmes de nébuleuse dans nos regards déchirés
D'Amour et d'euphorie
Notre constellation se profilent en "Je t'aime"'s insondables
Ta voix lactée pétillent d'un Amour Divin
Mystique attachement des lianes de nos bras
O mon si doux cosmique émoi
******************************************

Eyes filled with Stars that lick our hearts in Love
Comets full of an undecipherable and mysterious Fire
Your lips offer a kiss to the Doors of flowers from another galaxy
The same Echo again & Again
An Immense Space where we spread Dimentia(intoxication?)
No black hole will swallow us
we fill them with supernova Juice
The asters twirl
Everything twinkles for you and I
Infinite does exist in this cosmic mix
We're floating far above the celestial canopy
You breathe in the innermost depths of my Soul
Nebula tears in our eyes
Torn with Love & Euphoria
Our constellation is outlined by unphathomable ' I love you(s)"
Your milky way sparkles with a Divine Adoration
Mystic attachment of the lianas of our arms
O my so sweet Cosmic agitation

written and translated by me,crappy translation but no time :P



Now here are my latest art squared( 14x14cm)






all in small click on them to see bigger


and here is my last painting, titled: To my Blessed Ones

to thank them deeply for existing because we are truly made of our loved ones and the world the univers would never be with the same without them that you can not imagine how life was or could be without them.
my Blessed Ones are of course My family ( except alexis), my parents that I adore( my father loves to see this when I write it soo ^_^Dad this is for you: I love you ^-^and you'd better shake yourself to do a painting or collage soon with long time bought canvas that's gonna collect some dust :p) mwahahhaha
my brother François, my sister Mélanie, my darling sébastien, my lovely furry creature Takun( yes he belongs to the Family) etc and of course the Family of the heart, the family of the mind and the family of the soul.
You know who you are and I heart you dearly, blessed be!

Yay it's done! wow that was a long entry, won't do that everyday oh my! but then you can have a small hints of all the things I do and how crazy busy my life is :) but also and above it all you can see how fine I do feel.

Hey Melody Dawn Mull I am thinking of you, hope you got my postcard by now,miss you dear!hope you're ok.

French Doll Posse

yes the new tori amos album just inspired me to show you my French Doll Posse.

First and foremost there is Rain,she is linked to the archetype of Etain,irish goddess her names means " poetry or " shining one"she is a moon goddess.

Etain is a symbol of fertility,what I love in her is that she teaches us that wherever we are on Earth or in the depths of the underworld we too can be shining.

She is also linked to the Selene ,goddess of the moon too. She embodies the two extremes of the moon phase,waxing phase into fullness and waxing into darkness.she represents the fullness of life,incorporating all the phases of light and darkness in her shining.

then I I'd say she is close to Pele and Ishtar.
Pele for the vehement temper,the passion,she represents the violent aspects of life ,the fullness of life with nothing halfway,no in between.
she reminds us that even in the midst of fiery eruption there is creation and new life.
and in this Ishtar resonates because she is the creator goddess,her names means "giver of light"she represents the creative feminine,active and strong.

Rain's thoughts:

let's burn our masks or re-create our essence thanks to them in a maelstrom of sweet madness to give life to the unsaid...but stop hiding.
let's spit our dream and truth,pour the nectar of our soul,let us free to exist.
nothing is more painful to me that seeing beauty that is forgotten,denied,damaged,slashed...let's use our breaks,the things that makes us so human and imperfect to create, let's express our shadows instead of concailing our real feelings behind fake smiles that just can't lie that well...
Let's awake our own fire from the depths and be mistress and guardian of our own Spark.










+ old pics of Rain:






Then there is Adah(names of the two women in the Book of genesis, but the word adah can also be found in a hinduist mantra)


""Om Purnam adah, purnam idam, purnat purnam udacyate, purnasya purnamadaya, purnam evavashishyate. Om shanti shanti shanti"

it's also the name of the wife and sister of Cain in the drama by Byron.

Adah means Joy in Hebrew
Yet Adah is rather a soul that reveals the dark side of the moon, she is linked to Hecate & Persephone.
she is the fruit of pain that she refuses to express as a victim. she wants to use her anger in a creative way.

Persephone is the goddess of soul,for it's in the darkness of the underworld(unconcious)that soul is formed.Persephone represents the ability to rule over the aspects of ourselves that are terryfying in the extreme.

Adah is also made of Meduse archetype, she is the greek Gorgone,seen by the greek as an ugly and terryfying woman but the roots of her name comes from medecine and measure and derives from a greek word meaning " to protect to rule over"
Medusa is another moon goddess( like hecate she represents the dark side of the moon)
Medusa has become a symbol of fear ,for to look directly upon the divine is to face a reality that scares us.

Finally Adah is an echo of Hel the norse goddess of the underworld( that generated the word Hell)she is a mother goddess.
Her underworld is rather a place of renewal,rebirth than a place of punishment or misery.
Hel embodies the the divine mystery,a challenge to look behind the masks of appearances to see things the way they are.

Adah's thoughts:


Darkness is everywhere and can't be denied.I see suffering,I empathize. I sometimes feel masochistic looking or listening to others pain because it reaches me.
I pretend I'm angel of the dead, I'm the one who does not forget.
I think about my sisters who have been raped,slained or abused.
darkness gets deep thicker and I remember my strength, I know there is another kind of darkness, a beneficial and healthy one even if it's hard to believe right now for you.
let's not let ourselves be chocked by our fears,we've got to take the power back!
I keep my eyes open, I speak the truth even if it hurts, I know that there is Beauty behind the dark places as I know there is lots of darkness behind beauty.I trust my soul. I follow my heart.
sisters it's time to unite to see behind their masks and this theatrum mundis and target our same enemies.














+ old pics of Adah:





now let's introduce you to Louka Hannah,the delicate one,very stylish and your typical French doll ;)

louka hannah echoes to the archetype of Lady of the lake a mysterious celtic goddess who dwells in water, the source of all life. Lakes represent both the source of creative power and the land of the dead.
This goddess was a giver of life or death( renewal)she was a guide to the mysterious realms of emotion & renewal,a source of immense creativity.she can gives us the energy we need to rule our lives.

Louka hannah is also linked to Diana for the fact this latter one stands for the virgin, a self sufficient,free goddess of women,she is related to all phases of female existence,from infancy to menstruation through birth,nursing,menopause and death.
her personality is also made of pieces of Minerva was a goddess of wisdom and war, an affirmation that we can use our knowledge and wisdom in the pursuit of any goal we choose.

but on top of that Louka hannah finds pieces of her soul In the Roman goddess Venus.
Venus is the goddess of grace and love,she is called aphrodite in greek who personifies both physical and spiritual love.As you might know the story,venus arose naked from the sea,the source of all life(primordial creation)and a symbol of both collective unconscious and eternity.


Louka Hannah's thoughts:

For the sake of Beauty! for the sake of truth!
I want to sip again liquor of poetry can you lick it on my lips,I want to caress these delicacies on your skin map, teach me the words to set us free.
Sister of the two Mary(s) I love purity and passion, I give life I Create...
Freedom,empathy,beauty,truth and love I lull you to sleep with my springtime melodies.
why not getting intoxicated with Beauty?It's all made of it.
They say women are just adorning the world with their pretty smiles but I say that I want to adorn it with creation,with sharing of knowledge,offering wisdom not just enjoying my solitude of art.









old pics of Louka hannah








The fourth doll is Everdeene,a real baby woman doll.
She is part of Bastet or Bast, the egyptian goddess with a cat head.
she is sometimes represented smiling,loving as a protectrice of humanity,musician goddess of joy and birthing.
she is also known for her big tantrums. this way she is represented now with a lioness face and identifies with the ruthless war goddess sekmet.

the charming cat headed goddess is a woman and children protector,she has the magical power to stimulate love and the flesh energy.

Bastet is a two side character,with great opposites,sweet and cruel she is as attractive as dangerous.
she is also the symbol of feminity,home protector and the goddess of maternity.

Everdeene is also pieces of the archetypes of Artemis and thetis.
Artemis for the symbol of feminine independence.she is a goddess that heals and appeases.
as for thetis, she is often portrayed as a nereid( sea nymph).she is a shape shifter and a goddess who enjoys life's pleasures.

Everdeene's thoughts:

profusion of sugar & overdose of sugar.Ageless soul I feed myself with sweet madness.
The same bores me.
I flee.
I get away from you if you cannot re-invente a spiritual realm, I run away if you don't know spontaneity.these tiny swirls of fairy laughters,the delicious & ambigous tastes of the loves that inspire me & make me sighs scents of whimsical romantic stories.
rub me on the right side I am your gentle feline friend,judge me,reduce me and you'll see that the cute and sweet pussy has turned into a wild cat.







old photos de Everdeene:





and these could show her sekmet aspect:






and finally Helenina of course.
she is made of Inanna the sumerian mother goddess.powerful,self sufficient,passionate & many sided,she is the fertility godddess.Inanna is a representation of the many facets that go into being feminine as well as a guide into the dark places of
psychological and spiritual death and disintegration.

then she finds herself in the goddess like Demeter and mortal woman Psyche.

Demeter for the mother goddess aspect. Demeter offers a blessing of fruitfulness and possibility,of coming joy,of abundant life and of hope.
Demeter is remembered primarily for her great love for her daughter persephone.
Psyche for the fact she represents the growth of an innocent woman to a mature goddess,she reminds us that the process of life takes us into dark place as well as light,just as the butterfly emerges from the dark chrysalis into the light.

Helenina's thoughts:

Evolution...we don't create for everything has already existed in another way.
I am a mother of word, a mother of paintings, I co exist and co-create with the muses with my soul sisters in a world made of art.
Fairy and marvelous is a path of my life.
I have to be the sharer, the witch of light,the teacher to the sparkly alleys and to show the power of positive energies.
Emotions are welcome, this is but a cycle of life and death,we'll always and never be the same.












anciennes photos de Helenina:






Edit: knowledge about mythologies found at wikipedia ( for I dont know it all by heart I am always discovering more and more) and thanks to my goddess knowledge cards by susan boulet)

well girls, wanna share with me your own posse?
tell me which one is closer to your own personality?who is your favourite etc?
I'll be eager and excited to see your own doll posse if you want to share:)

Blessed be!