mercredi 5 décembre 2007

Achings & Feelings...

I said this was going to be a good day!
why not?

so this morning I couldn't recall my dreams or nightmares but I woke up not feeling too sad :)

then I got CHEERED UP ^__________^
seb played kind of played the santa claus delivering my mail this morning!
one package, and another one and another!
xmas in advance! so great! so fabulous! so very touching!
Thank you ! thank you! thank you!
Viola I love the trade ( though it awful broke in two in my so undelicated hands I guess aaaaah sighs, It was nightmare to see that but I put some tape ahah, it's still oh so pretty and I love it! it's even more vintage with the tear ahah;-)

Chantal I just can't wait to dive in meditation and understand more everything with sensing and remembering my Past lives...will be so interesting I'm sure! thank you so much !!
can't wait to have my reading too!!!
your help and light are much appreciated:)

aaaaaah Merle! wow wow wow what can I say?
(never satisfied demanding me is searching for your letter though kidding ;) well a postcard is good too, nice to see your handwriting!)

I <3 so much the necklace I could have cried! so touching, I will cherish that gift!
thank you for making my day and touching my soul <3

I love everything you sent!

aaaah the rollercoaster of deep winter emotions,terrible and so draining!

But I want to cling to this feeling today, got my smile back ^___^

for how many hours?;-)

maybe I won't make the whole day. but I share it with you NOW if you need a smile

^________________________________^ and a love filled hug

my love
mon chéri et moi

she left no trails

On the alley of sparkling white altheas she left no trails
A strange unwanted solitude knocked at the window of her mind
As she crawled in the blood orchid petals
purple river to dive and rinse the void of my her whiteness
' I know...I know... I know...' she said
As it coloured her lips
'This mix could create an acacias waterfall of passion'
She swirled barefoot under the rain of stars wishing for her heart to feel
The dancing flames of her spirit was taken away by devourous shadows
'I need that kiss' was written on her lips
Words was snowing now her silent night
She wanted to want not to understand so she put the question marsk in little coffins
No Prayers no wishes
She ran like a flash of lightning and throw her book of poetry in the Fire(...)

I'll never ever ever ever ever...gonna unglue my lips from being together...

inspired by 'Mariella' by Kate Nash, this is my Mariella.
I thought I would make an artwork for each song but I changed my mind, like it often happens lately big enthusiasms crash down...
it s about 26x36cm I think on watercolor paper
honestly I don't like it much, I don't feel satisfied, not out of self deprecation etc it s just how I feel when I look at it.
I never write I dont like my work to be cheered up or reassured,if others like what I dont like it's cool then...when I want to be reassured I ask for it.

Get the fuck out of me now
Le goût des noyades est il toujours semblable
Comme ce parfum d'hiver
Ce poison insidieux qui se lit dans mes yeux
se lie à mes cieux
tout n'est que bleus
Nos solitudes sont elles semblables
quand toi tu tends la main
dit elle je veux nager dans tes eaux troubles
Toujours des pointillés et des mots découpés
Je ne sais pas lire dans l'amer
je ne sais pas dire sans ether
Et si elle m'emmène chez moi
là où les esprits effilochés répandent des fleurs des leurres
Peut être que je veux juste me baigner
Les réponses ne flottent que rarement à la surface
Alors plonge avec moi
Prends ma main si tu as peur
Quand j'ose pleurer je n'ai plus peur de rien

Is the taste of drowning always the same
Like this Winter perfume
This insidious poison that you read in my eyes
that links to my skies
Everything is bruised
Our loneliness are they the same
When you stretch your hand
does she say I want to swim in your messed waters
Always dots and cut words
I can't read in bitterness
I can't speak without Ether
If she takes me home
Where frayed spirits are scattering flowers and lures
Maybe I just want to bathe
Answers scarcely float on the surface
So dive with me
Take my hand if you are scared
When I dare cry I don't fear anything anymore

(impro + translation)

if we were our successes if we were our emotions i'd be joining you

I love that one because I am not pretty on it!
It was a morning picture, ugly tired self, it's good to play with that kind of picture, realer and more honest with the emotions I want to express...

How does it feel : Plaisir et déplaisir

How does it feel : Plaisir et déplaisir

love that one,of course people must think it talk about sex because of the title...
which is funny, I know the picture reveal some kind of rapture but well if you see deeper you also feel the pain, the maelstom of confusions

here are the words to go with it:

Muteness is crawling on my lipgloss
flowers of chaotic winter garden smearing on my cherry bliss kisses
You will catch the fleeting aurora borealis
being blind to the glass debris on the soil
All the emotional ropes to my neck
Sometimes they drag me down on the floor
Or to the underworld
sometimes the path is different
I could hang my soul to your tree
You infuse enlivened melodies through my veins
You keep etching Who are you on my skin
Nor the screen nor the canvas won't reveal a thing
but I'll keep sewing the tears and holes
to my threadbare velvet heart
I'll glue back each cracks
pretty garlands of black thistles
I am dust and blissful collapse of your soul...

(quick impro...)

Everybody knows I'm her friend Everybody knows I'm her man1.1

Everybody knows I'm her friend Everybody knows I'm her man 1.0

two other pictures of my Dark prince, it's the yang in me.
It's not so easy to make myself look masculine but it's cool to experience.
I guess when I saw him in me I got this feeling I don't need no more obsessions I dont need anything nor anyone, I have me, maybe he wants to protect me... instead of letting the window open...

Je laisse la fenêtre ouverte et j'attends

I let the window open and I wait
the wind asks " what are you waiting for?"
the echoes of my sighs are whispering secrets
the evil question marks are marching up my stairs
The blood roses I see them everywhere
I sometimes taste the blood of twisted dejà vu
Oh Goddess!
Can the lights embrace me in my sleep
Can the sky collapse in my heart and be pouring a pink and blue blanket
lulling my voodoo dolls to sleep
screaming their needs
crying their wishes
spitting their thorns
and my baby soul can't carry all these tears
when the wind blow cold
Only this stay written on your mind
oh cruel evasive obsession(...)

(late impro...)

In wonderHell

Come embrace my delicious imperfection#139

Pages of the Same Poetry Book

click to see it bigger:)

so well my very first love, Poetry is taking care of me, she is lulling me to sleep, embracing all of my imperfection, kissing my wounds and tears...I'll go walk again in those fields...I know I need her and she just let me say more and help me understand...

I know I am not alone even when I feel today I've got lots of things to do,let's stop procrastinating...

In 2008, lilaccanopy resolves to...
Go travelling three times a week.
Cut down on my glamourbombing.
Spend less time on love.
Go to bi-love every Sunday.
Give up surprises.
Volunteer to spend time with wands.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions:

I think I need silly memes and quizzes if you have any interesting ones to share or deep questions to ask anything to make me think and write ^____^

4 commentaires:

Jen a dit…

what a lovely many wonderful things to share ...have a wonderful day
surprises are just wonderful : )

Jen a dit…

so nice of you to share here
to want to make others smile:)
wish i could say i'm having as good a day...i too was hoping to feel good...ah well, i see the sun is shining outside now..:)

jen a dit…

you've truly been the best friend i've ever had in so many ways.
--from my heart

chibitaneah a dit…

Quel beau blog tu as là ... et quelle jolie écriture tu as ! J'avoue j'ai eu quelques difficultés a tout comprendre et j'ai du relire deux fois mais j'ai finit par y arriver ! L'anglais et moi ... ça fait 23 c'est pourquoi moi je n'écris qu'en français. Je suis ravie que mon blog te plaise et j'avoue que le tien me plaît bien aussi. J'espère te revoir bientôt sur mon blog ...