I guess it's surely my last post before Nina's birth.
I am so emotional that I will perhaps need time to share my thoughts and photos of her, but I am so eager to see life in her eyes!
will she have her so beautiful dad's light colored eyes? I hope so but for that I guess we'll need months to be sure!
When I think I'm soon going to hold her in my arms everyday, it's pure bliss, it blows my mind...for everytime I hear a newborn's cry, see a baby smile, hear them laughing, I feel this emotion in my heart, I am going to be a mother...
It's something I am going to be passionate with , a role in my life I will honor and celebrate!
I am so happy God!
I am even happier that this happiness is shared with so many people, that it does not locked me in a bubble, it makes me spread more of my self, it makes me have more love and sweetness to share.
It makes me relate with all moms to be or young moms.
All along this pregnancy I have been able to create new and beautiful friendship bonds which I hope will last and blossom!
Nine in the number.
My love and I celebrated our 9 years anniversary with all the turmoils and beautiful moments we've lived I'm amazed to be there now, 9!already?
And today I am beginning the 9th and last month of pregnancy with the intuition Nina will arrive earlier( but maybe it's only my big desire and impatience now that is talking...naaah it's my intuition :P)
Anyways, she will arrive in two or four weeks, we'll see, but it really sound so little now and I'm going to live this amazing moment, I am going to share this most beautiful day and all these special emotions with my love and family, it's amazing!
I am tired on and off, I was feeling good on sunday.
We took the excuse of Valentine's day to celebrate our anniversary again ;)and went to the restaurant!
I wanted for Valentine's day to create some artworks for my friends and random act of kindness:)I went back to my first love for mixed media collages, playing, cutting,glueing, scattering glitter :))
it made me happy to made those and I still have about 3 to create but not sure if I'll be able to.
I also have edited friends photos and wrote some inspired poems, here two beautiful selfies by Sara:
like shedding petals and glows from the boughs
The most beautiful Princess wearing her shadow
wet feet in the blue puddles she plays
Reading words and names the trees reflect
Sugary child like magic
Like springtime in her eyes
Behind her the winter layers & snowflake tears
When they are all frozen
You will know what they have written
And light oh so Light
Sara will wander
In the poem Gardens
She will shout her colors
Pigment of truth
fearless ribbons of all her emotions
She will be heard and understood
And her Soul will rebirth
hat's on if I show you my feminine frailty how will I be taken seriously
Make a wish
hat's off if I show you I am a man how will you allow me to cry
hold the leash
If I look at myself in your mirror I will never dare to be me
Along the forest to my core
my soul is open and sore(...)
two pictures of the beautiful Lindsey:
Such an frozen ocean of dichotomy
streams of masks
dress of lace and leather
Entertwined emotions in each threads
Can I breathe again
Eyes wide closed
I see the core
Who am I when they dance around me
Nature spirits and reminiscence of antique stories
vintage photographs around her dead body
Winter was never the season
bitter snowflakes on my tongue
I read the heavens truths
How we all wander in the woods to find the words to tell our life
our lies our strifes
From sunshine caroussels to dirty graves
From enchanting fae nymps chants to dreary escapes
We walk through our own stories
Trying to recollect the pieces of who we are who we were
Hoping to catch a glimpse of everything we can be we could be
treading on so many perhaps
Chocking the maybes
Never believing in our glow
unable to love each day the way they are
Running from orchids hills
Falling on slopes of chills
our wraths our lures
our paths our vultures
The crow songs always so mesmerizing for the melanchollia in me
cradling my dreams how to grow in the mud
Wearing my favourite little black dress
the same one for so many years
Pelted soul with cosmic storms
Twirling with my delights devoring the days when dark shines
collapsing in the decaying books of hopes
Too many birds
have lost feathers
My personas my loveliest sisters
Alter ego queens of thistles and dandelions
Swallowing dust biting clouds
hanged to the silver lining
Forever changing with moired colored worlds
Always the same with a keycode heart realm
let me sing you my soul springtime
let me me show the moonlight
The nest is ready
My arms wide open
The garden feels so alive
Overflowing with flowers and vines
I think of you day and night
Still no face on so many sweet names
baby love my lovely rainbow
Your precious energy has healed me within
The day of your birth
The woman in me will be born again
We will spread our wings together
Pouring glitter on one another
We will feel home again(...)
this one is surely one of my favorite pregnancy picture because really it was not easy to do this bubble shooting, I always had to jump on the bed, blow bubble and try to get ready to be a minimum photogenical ^____^
but it was definetly worth it, my last shooting of my pregnancy, as now I wont do no more, I am waiting for Nina to be my new favorite model :))♥♥♥
I love that one too, I look more like a woman than a babywoman, it's different :)
and I'm so in love with my rainbow jade necklace!
and this is a series I have enjoyed so much doing, it came to me all naturally in a early morning day and it was a real cool feeling to do weird and disturbing images in between the sweet ones :)
It was inspired by IRM, the song written by Beck and sung by the wonderful Charlotte Gainsbourg
when I listen to that song I just feel like singing and dancing:))it's very fascinating and it carries me away:)
I look more child like on this picture and I love it:
On Valentine's day I wanted to talk also about Asian New Year, because my mom's mother was from Vietnam and in my childhood we used to celebrate this and I loved it so much, especially the food, the beautiful show with the vietnamese singer always so pretty and well dressed like princesses and the chinese unicorn that fascinated me as much as it scared me if it would pass way too close to me ^___^
the music of the drums at that moment can be impressive for children ;)
I really hope later to go to a vietnamese New year show again, just to share this with my Sebastien and my children so they can see a bit of what I am made of.
I have all these memories and it's sad that in her last years my grandma was not nice at all, because it would be easier to remember her with love...I still can remember the time I loved her of course, during childhood, she was a really great grandmother taking us to funfairs, buying us delicious candies and cooking oh so good vietnamese food but not only!
I am going to learn to cook more vietnamese food this year.
I wish a wonderful year to all the vietnamese community and all the asian people!
This tiger year's gonna be oh so bright and beautiful!
I love to say that Nina will be a little tiger fish(pisces)
It's going to be real ,she's going to be there oh so soon now.
Yesterday seb and I went to a birth class,it was interesting :)
we are going again on friday, I love that because it makes more time shared with my love :)
and it's really wonderful to have been able to share this pregnancy beautiful adventure with him all along these months, yeah of course not always so beautiful, remember the so cool nauseous morning ^_______^ahah
Today I have the visit of Vanessa and her little Thiméo, which is going to be nice.
I miss my parents! yes. Yet I have dreamt of them so bad, nightmares, quarrels and all. But mostly these last days of pregnancy I am having stressful nightmares, nothing ugly or bloody but with negative emotions, worries...It's very exhausting!
and I keep waking up every hour.
So now my sleep is totally broken.
but maybe it gets me used to this if I have to breastfeed Nina every hour,we'll see that.
I am eager for this to begin, to see how it feels, to create a loving bond with her!
I so want to be close to my daughter, to get to know her deeply, to understand her, to be there for her anytime in her life, to listen to her closely, to awake her spirit and share with her my passions for art of any kinds, for words even for cooking :))
I so want to be careful to do things right so she became a beautiful soul with a kind heart.
As for Valentine's day it's not really something I celebrate in the commercial way(except for the restaurant, but it's such a pleasure ^______^ I love eating out, I also love discovering new food, new restaurants!)
but V day is an excuse perhaps to remember all the people we loved and/or still love.
The dead for instance.
And to live with awareness of the blessings to have so many loved ones around us, our family, friends, sweetheart...
I said this year was going to be the year of Friendship because it is love too!
but finally it's going to be the year of Love beautiful balance: family and friends.
Of course people who are single on that day can feel a bit lonely, as if life was not good to them, I used to feel that way, before sebastien I've had many lonely V day.
But we have to keep hoping and loving, may it be ourselves or all the things that generates this wonderful feelings inside us.
we don't find answers in having a boyfriend,fiancé or husband, we don't feel more complete in getting married etc not even less lonely, because somehow we still have some time alone and it's better to be able to enjoy oneself alone and love ourselves.
The key is inside us, we find a love balance in being at peace with everything we are and can be.
When we have found home and love inside us, we can spread it around and the universe will respond in time.
keep loving & believing!
You are love and loved.
Blessings & namasté,
Someone who goes with half a loaf of bread to small place that fits like a nest around them, someone who wants no more, who's not themselves longed for by anyone else, that someone is a letter to everyone. You open it. It say, Live. - Rumi
ps: and here you can ask me anything :o)