Dans les périodes de doute et de solitude, il y a un enrichissement unique.

illustration friday, am I late?

click to see it bigger!

well nevermind, I would love to take part to many challenges all the time but well I am not the best at organization so.
this is my "petit vampire amoureux"( little vampire in love) for the red themed illustration friday:)

I know I have made it some days ago, but well I just come across the site and thought that would be cool to share this collage because it's one of the recent I really enjoy.
It's sweet & melanchollic, a piece of my world.

We always seem to need to search outside instead of digging within and maybe find those missing pages.
I don't mind if they are blank or totally stained.
I can face it.
I really feel dry and arctic,and never mind the cherryblossom I have this awful and weird certainty I'll ever come back to this "It would not come, it would never be the way I had wanted it"
I am always amazed when it happens to be exactly the way I wanted it. I feel like trapped,punk'd or whatever I wonder where the cameras are?

I have spent a nice weekend, well if I am honest I will say I have tried...(really you did try?)
okay I probably haven t tried because I was entertwined in a chocking maelstrom of disenchantments and there was also a warm fury...I tried my best to control it, adorn it so that she will shut her mouth...

I am feeling so ineffective kind of paralysed...see how much I need to alleviate every words: " kind of" as if there is no reality but a true ethereality...everything fading close to another emotions always, nothing precise,exact and of course none certainty.

I think I find myself ugly.not as if it has been a while...but it's as if my Generosity was in real dangerous,diseased by a dose of hopelessness.

Yet I still have that yearning to give but it's hibernating maybe.

I still give and share so I look open.I am just gliding slowly with my landslides.
I think I want to hide this.
I feel vulnerable to write down my thoughts, but I am not sure lots of people truly decipher me so it doesn't matter, it shouldn t matter.
Everyone make their own conclusion.

last weekend I have had lots of nightmares & insomnia.

I need glimpses in Garden of hopes.
I feel lifeless I think.
I cannot define my state of mind.
I know that even when I feel guilty to share my frozen and quiet sadness I cannot change it right.
I will just go with this flow of emptiness & try to rise back with my art, that's the only thing I can trust right now. the real daily company. the real confident.

Self portrait Challenge: New Year's resolutions you say?

To be more daring whatever they say about me ;)


It is my first time joining the Self portrait challenge:)
I think that picture was perfect for the theme:) but I am eager for the next theme:)

I love that picture because I really look like a very important part of my personality: whimsy witch ;o)
the sweetly annoying woman that drives them mad sometimes ^__^

that picture shows also the daring fae in me, the one who will go on no matter what.
The one who is motivated to do great things along this year & evolve art wise and spiritually wise:)

I often have that feeling people limit others with words, with attitudes, because maybe we often act this way, but we are more than this aren't we?

I think there is something self assertive in that picture, something in me does know I trust my soul whatever the failures, breaks ,falls & walls I may encounter on my way.

I am hyper emotional,fragile,sensitive, sometimes broken secretly...but yes I am willing & strong at the same time:)
and this year again I will work on never giving up whatever happens!

Lonely mood

Today I feel in a lonely mood...my lack of creativity upsets me and I just feel like doing nothing...there are days like these I guess.

I feel that no matter what I do, no matter what I try and no matter what I reach I always fall down again.

It's not as if I wasn't satisfied with my art,I am glad of what I do but I often reach those times of fear...fear of not being able to go further, not being to create something bigger and surprise myself, express more...

Too many thoughts are still locked up and I need to vent them through my work because I still have those weird nightmares...

I am feeling abandonned and unloved ,so I thank Goddess that I have sebastien and Takun by my side...

I hate sounding so pathetic.
I know I have a lot to give, but too rarely find those persons & everyone I know goes away in the end.

I guess a good movie will cheer me up tonight.

Maybe I just need to buy myself a spin & splash toy to make another kind of background ^_^ I need something new!

I am always deeply sad when I "copy" myself,okay I adore making fairies, it's lovely and comforting,it always makes me smile but when it's always the same I do feel bored and so frustrated, kind of angry at myself!

There are days like today I feel like giving up.
I am so hyper emotional ,all or nothing always & for ever;)

I could just stop dreaming so high, stop wanting to reach things I might never be able to reach, stop thinking anything is possible, stop stop stop...

well what would I do if I stop making art anyways?
I would be even more alone!

and I'm such a recluse.

well I have nothing & plenty to say/write/vent...guess I am just a little sad today.
Who cares?