jeudi 11 janvier 2007
Today I feel in a lonely mood...my lack of creativity upsets me and I just feel like doing nothing...there are days like these I guess.
I feel that no matter what I do, no matter what I try and no matter what I reach I always fall down again.
It's not as if I wasn't satisfied with my art,I am glad of what I do but I often reach those times of fear...fear of not being able to go further, not being to create something bigger and surprise myself, express more...
Too many thoughts are still locked up and I need to vent them through my work because I still have those weird nightmares...
I am feeling abandonned and unloved ,so I thank Goddess that I have sebastien and Takun by my side...
I hate sounding so pathetic.
I know I have a lot to give, but too rarely find those persons & everyone I know goes away in the end.
I guess a good movie will cheer me up tonight.
Maybe I just need to buy myself a spin & splash toy to make another kind of background ^_^ I need something new!
I am always deeply sad when I "copy" myself,okay I adore making fairies, it's lovely and comforting,it always makes me smile but when it's always the same I do feel bored and so frustrated, kind of angry at myself!
There are days like today I feel like giving up.
I am so hyper emotional ,all or nothing always & for ever;)
I could just stop dreaming so high, stop wanting to reach things I might never be able to reach, stop thinking anything is possible, stop stop stop...
well what would I do if I stop making art anyways?
I would be even more alone!
and I'm such a recluse.
well I have nothing & plenty to say/write/vent...guess I am just a little sad today.