Anahata Chakra, the harmony between Shiva & shakti

"In her four hands Kakini Shakti holds the implements necessary for one to attain balance: The sword provides the means to cut through obstacles blocking the upward energy flow. The shield protects the aspirant from external worldly conditions. The skull indicates detachment from a false identification with the body. The trident symbolizes the balance of the three forces of
preservation, creation and destruction."

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so yes Mich wrote again at virtual circlethat inspired me and made me smile because it's surely one of my favorite...the heart, the core,the inner balance/peace...
aaah thank you Mich ^_^I'm so inspired to write now!I so loved reading that post!

To love is the great amulet
that makes the world a garden."
Robert Louis Stevenson

"Chakra Attributes
.
Color: Green
.
Function: Love
.
Healing Essence of the Chakra: Located in the region of the heart and between the shoulder blades, it is the area of the body where love resides, in the cave of the heart. The ecstasy of love teaches us to let go and trust in the world, ultimately transcending the flames of sexual passion and emptying our life, giving spirit and spirituality into the world.
.
Keywords: Love, Unconditional Love, Surrender, Compassion, Forgiveness, Grace,
Peace

Affirmations:

* I am unconditionally loving of myself and others.
* There is an infinite supply of love in the world.
* I am love.

Interpreting excess or deficiency in the fourth chakra
Excessive characteristics:

*
Codependency (focussing too much on others)
*
Poor boundaries
*
Jealousy
*
Being a martyre
*
Being a pleaser

Deficient characteristics:

*
Antisocial, withdrawn
*
Critical, intolerant
*
Lonely, isolated
*
Lack of empathy
*
Fear of intimacy

Balanced characteristics:

*
Caring
*
Compassionate
*
Empathetic
*
Accepting
*
Self-loving
*
Peaceful
*
Centered
*
Content

The Fourth Chakra Self Evaluation

1.
Are you able to love yourself as you are or do you put up certain conditions?

Well I think I have to be deeply honest on this & I guess then I should reply yes and no.
Yes sometimes I love myself unconditionnally, I laugh at my flaws or even dare to put them under the light, playfully...not to draw away others but to make them not idealize me ,pedestal you know I'm afraid of heights( but the insecure little darling in me love pedestal)
I think that nowadays I'm more able to love myself than ever but yet some dark voices inside still want to make see things wrongly or misinterprete things or make me be harsh to myself...
Maybe it's also another kind of Love, masochistic...I have always had great pleasure in self deprecation, self hatred, because I looked myself from outside and knowing how small, how vulnerable, how faillible I was...I can't explain...
Then I would finally make peace with her after the flow of dark words because finally all I truly have is me, my soul and I...
so I guess I love myself...perhaps just in a weird way and I want to be allowed to say mean things to myself if I want to...I mean it's boring when you say "God I suck or I'm so stupid " you criticize yourself because hey it's your right to be bored with yourself once in a while...
and your friends want to be wise and kind and so they will not always allow you this, unwrapping their big parcel of compliments and praises when all you need maybe at that time is to be listened in the way you see yourself at a certain moment and the whys...oh well...

Thanks Goddess I loathe myself quite rarely now ;-)

and to me unconditionnal love means acceptance not necessarily not expecting anything...I think it's quite hard not to expect something when we love...silence, nothingness,well, then all the load of beauty and magick for nothing at all...okay why not...kind of a waste...
I never am able to focuse on a question if you notice...ahah that's just me, queen of digression, always meandering further where her mind can take her ;)



2.
How often do you show your appreciation to those around you including strangers?

ah ah! ;-)
I guess I do that freely, easily...I don't know
It's a part of me, I'm a free spirit, so spontaneous and when I love why should I hold my tongue;)
^_____^okay let's be serious on this...I do admire a lot of souls/persons for who they are, for their art, for the way they write the way they think, but most of all the soul,the spark I sense, the true kindness, maybe not true not free but this is how I decipher it & so I dare to be naive and bold and tell people I like them,what impresses me in them, praising their beauty inside out, honouring them,celebrating them and all the magick and warmth they inspire.

so how do I show my appreciation? with art ^_^of course, with poems, with time given, with writing to them, getting to know them showing them I want to get to know them...I think it's a real show of appreciation to want TO KNOW...it's so fascinating to discover a personality, to find echoes...
I say compliments when I think them, sometimes I gently flirt with hyperboles because I admire so much & well maybe then I sound like the little girl in awe and amazement, but no...I think they humble me,they inspire me, they give me strength

As for strangers too, I love sharing and saying what I think, I also give smile to people ^_______________^like this...

3. Are you holding onto any feelings of grief?


Am I? God knows...sometimes yes...but I'm not so sure how to put it all out...there is this reality, the things you cannot have power on, the things that are, like time passing you know, you can't stop it...so maybe not grief, sounds a bit too much...but yes I keep some sorrows inside in my rock garden...I don't dance over there all the time, I do forget too when I twirl & giggle & fall in love with moments, songs,books,artists,colors,word...


4.
Do you have any feelings of hatred or resentment towards someone in your life? If so, what can you do to forgive this person and free yourself from these old wounds?

eeeek I don't like talking about that...I don't know...I'm not wounded...I don't know...I rarely hate anyone in fact, I just cannot bear to see my younger brother a. because he stands for everything I loathe he represents all the things in just one little person that I really can't accept, eeeeek I want to puke...
ok ok I don't nurture these feelings.
I ignore them.
I just don't care about him,there is no way to change Past, no way to forgive when people are just what they are...and well we're not forced to love everyone even if they are made of the same blood.
I am still me and human, of course I'd feel compassion if he was dying or whatever...well I guess I would...because many times I've tried to be nice and forgive...I'm kind really but he has really crossed the lines way too many times...life is life...


5. What parts of yourself do you deny? What can you do to reclaim aspects of yourself that you may have sacrificed to be accepted?

hmmmm....I don't know...maybe the needy part, the fact I love to be cuddled and when people care and take care of me...maybe I deny it sometimes out of independence :P
I'm such a loner...
maybe it's protection too...
oh well I don't really deny because I embrace everything I am, mix of hues( pun implied)
I never sacrifice anything of myself to be accepted.
I am real.(and so bitching sometimes mwahhahhaha no pleaser here ^___^;;never ever)
I prefer to express than to please.
It's important to utter who you are/what you stand for instead of spreading words like a copy and paste to please the other echoing who they are, trying to be what they like...I don't like that much,but when I was a teen I surely had this tendency ...like a chameleon to be the same colors of my lover...I got influences and affected by them & well maybe sometimes it was difficult to pick out my cloud in this mist of us...It's so important to just be oneself, to assert one's soul...

I'm really sad for the pleasers...How frustrating that must be to need to hide, to lack of freedom when already this reality tries to fetter us..sighs big sighs... I can't imagine a situation where I'd follow or kneel with no consent.
I mean I don't mind crawling and being a devotee to Passion, to ideas, to inspirations and to Muses but it's because I allow myself this,because I have decided this...never something forced on me...
I'm way too stubborn( erase this put determined and willing;) to let someone have power on me ( laughing)


Now I'd like to come back on the affirmations, how beautiful they are!


* I am unconditionally loving of myself and others.
I still think that we do expect something...how can I explain this?
I do believe in the " you owe me nothing in return" I do love like this too at times, I want my loved ones to be happy, the best for them always but I also sometimes miss them, wish I could spend more time with them, but yes I allow them plenty of freedom like I do with everyone: freedom with respect, freedom with empathy/compassion because it's important!
Freedom without these turns to fucking individualistic selfishness/egocentrism...I have a hard time to tolerate that kind of people who really think it's all for them/all about them...
* There is an infinite supply of love in the world.

siiiiiighs indeed, LOVE is immense, beyond the beyond, the ocean, love is like waves bringing back the gems of the soul, of humanity, the preciousness of sparks that resonates, magick...Pure beauty...
Love is not only romantic, love is pure, sisterly,brotherly,full of humanity,caring,loving kindness...

We call Love affection too, maybe because we want to reduce Love as romantic...but I can feel big love for little things, moving things,touching behaviours,compassionate souls, poetry of the minds...


* I am love.
ah! I wish I were...I don't know...I guess I am because I have so much to give always & again but I'm not always so sweet, have some harshness,some anger( productive one, inspiring one...ah it would take much too long to explain why anger is an emotion that fascinates me, the good anger, yes of course how could there be a good anger...you know, yes you know...I'm not going to write truism...because if you're aware and can listen to the sounds of the world you know.
so yes I'm love with strokes and teeth...

Interpreting excess or deficiency in the fourth chakra
Excessive characteristics:

* Codependency (focussing too much on others)
I have this sometimes,but not too much, I'm truly both careless and caring, but what matters is the sincere appreciation of the real me by the souls who mean something to me and touch me,inspire me etc.

* Poor boundaries
I have boundaries,but will ever gently dream of the fusion, surely it is something to do with the in utero love,not being truly but this protection,this ataraxia...
* Jealousy
(oh my! a strange feeling that is...I should work on this creatively,Jealousy is weird,unpredictible,silly most of the time,absurd for sure,quite infantile but so very touching when it's not mine ;-)
I would need to study jealousy closer...well not too close!:P

* Being a martyre( oh my!I used to feel that way as a child and a teen,so unloved,so forlorn,so rejected and the girl hated me and they were mean and the boys would most of them reject me booohoooh ^___^;;well hey not all of them, I have sweet memories of first loves...Like with Romain L. when I was 10 years old, ah that kind of love story bears true magick, it shows how children can love sincerely can be romantic and care so much for another, can think the world of them...I remember the laughters, one of my unforgettable stories...)


Deficient characteristics:

*
Antisocial, withdrawn( I am this sometimes to some extent...I'm a recluse but I'm not locked up, I'm very socialite loner ^-^but yes surely am withdrawn...
*
Critical, intolerant
I'm pretty tolerant

Lonely, isolated( I am isolated but not completely and as for lonely I guess I am but not all the time :-) like I often say we're always and never alone)



Balanced characteristics:

*
Caring
*
Compassionate
*
Empathetic
*
Accepting
*
Self-loving
*
Peaceful
*
Centered
when I did the test I think my heart chakra was overproductive not sure...surely because of insecurity( I'm healing that really)& lack of confidence at times...






I put a picture of me, rather plain, weird expression, the way my mouth is, no make up etc, not my best angle...all of this to lay the emphasize on what remains.
I'm vulnerable in many ways but yet I do feel my strength I honour and nurture it.

I don't mind people giving cheap compliments " you're a beautiful and sexy" when there is nothing behind.
How do they know?
do they see me? do they see through me? do they notice my soul when they say so?

I like being found beautiful,come on I'm human;-)
that would be a lie to say the contrary, we love compliments...But that is not the most important...I want to hear it when I'm weak, vulnerable,ugly, wrong,collapsing,angry...I don't know...
I also think that the real me is further than this.
I don't think I'm really beautiful like no one really is, it's just a mask, a vessel, whatever
we do love to play with it, even more when we're women,eheh;)
because it's amusing,childish in a good way, like racing like flash of ligthnings through fairytale glittering lavender fields :-)
I love Feminity, I'm glad to be a woman.

But I also showed my yang in this picture, the male in me, shiva...
We all bear both inside us.
When we know and accept that we're freer again.

Truly honestly that was painful to put that picture, I'm not at best,I'm not showing beauty,delicate features,curves,gentle feminity,I'm showing nakedness, reality...
I'm quite sure I'm even worse in the morning mwhahahhaha
^__^;; but seb is always sweet to say the contrary with such sincerity that I guess it's love that makes him blind, or well tastes are different, or well it's hard to like ourselves like this because we're so vain?
perhaps...
no,I don't think it's vain to want to be beautiful...
I think I can be & you can be too
it's just not the essential, it's a whole:truth freedom love beauty ^_^
Aye! children of the revolution! ^_^




spellbound delights and showers of buds
Too much sugar...
never Enough
One feet in the Lake of romance & she remembered she had a choice
Tasting the depths and understanding what's hidden in the star nectar
But she chose to ran away barefooted
Yet she was waltzing with habromic night mood swings
singing lalala and tiptoeing through fairylands
Her sweetest sadness in her face is just for the Poets
mourning eyes hold millons laughter sunrises and more(...)

(I feel so inspired to write short poems lately,it's good, a true relieving feeling...don't ask sometimes I'm not even sure about what I'm talking about and then I get surprised and psychoanalyse my own self mwhahahhahaha ^__^;; the girl is sick)



I sometimes daydream of an exhibitions of my photography with the poems next to it, yes who cares about words nowadays?
I love poetry with a passion!

miles & miles under a charcoal coated emotional lane
You have to bear in mind this hapaxanthous flower of feelings
If it wither then you can overflow it in your tears
Nothing will dig your shit from the dirt
If you can't catch her in offered full bloom during the fall
Then close your eyes hamshackle branches
No bud no spring in the underworld
I don't ask anything
you don't need to hark to this tumbling
I taste the vintage poetry of melancholic silence
There is nothing to foray in my blood rivers
There is nothing to translate in my cold shivers
What is concealed underneath these hills of sheets
I can't read the words all drenched & smearing
Did my Twin met Mister Despair at this gloomy door
How deep was the fall
How deep is this all
Heartsome dying memories I still can hear their laughters in the distance
Hebenon kisses in my spirit
way too heavy
hederated funeral of dark roses in a white winter sky
How gently grim this view
My face may bear this look whereas my heart is warm
It yearns for henotic ends where the landing is made on bed of petals(...)




Oh softness Oh delight I feel the ivy detach
Will I finally be alone when I let the dam break
All the waters of flowers & the dew of kisses will turn into the beads that I cry
I cross my guilt as my little frail feet bleeds on the thorns
I am hanged to the most beautiful garlands of blunders
I don't hear the who are they...I don't listen I don't hear
Oh petal Oh candid warmth I embrace the dots & lacunas
Wish my lonely sorrow was just a bird
she could fly away & bring you a necklace of my tears
No more whys that hurt for nothing
No more thinking this to nowhere
No tombs no graves just an endless path of flowers
and an irrational and irresistible swirls of cherry delicious excrutiation
Wish you could salute & embrace what comforts your heart




Petite bouche tu ne craches pas toujours les fleurs de mots justes
Tu ne veux pas voir
Je ne veux pas voir
Ce que les maux pensent vraiment
ce que leur mots ne panseront jamais
Viens embrasser ta petite écorchée
Si le coeur qui saigne toujours à perdre haleine
C'est qu'aimer est un nectar divin dont on ne revient jamais
Et l'on court et l'on rampe pour une goutte de plus
Petite bouche tu préfères que les vers glissent sur ta langue
Ici et maintenant sous la douce chaleur des échos
Des fleurs éclosent aux mélodies touchantes
ah va petite bouche crache donc ces cafards et ces vers il n'est jamais trop tard(...)
(yep! in French,too lazy to translate and I felt like writing in French once in a while)







You're nothing but a blank canvas if your heart doesn't bleed colors
Mine have blackened so many watercolors
pouring brackish waters
way too much...way too much...
can we ever save all the drowning paintings of memories
The sun had bedazzled the paper more than once
That's how your eyes began to gleam oh fragile teary eyes
You can not escape the need to be painted
For you're just that empty space wishing for incandescence
The dance of the summer brushes remembers your face
wrapping your frail naked Muse in sparks of inspiration
You will soon see the canvas coming back to life
Like a Springtime liquor that get drunk the dreamers hearts
I will rise from my cinders of old fires
Calmly walking out of the canvas of the warmest memories(...)





Patience....
breathe in, breathe out...
some people of course will say You search This...
sigh deep, again breathe in breathe out...gotta learn patience...
I don't feel like a victim, I just feel slightly pissed off and would like to tell you to gently go the fuck away from my Garden ;)
I mean hey boy it's not because I show my ass that I wanna see your dick okay?

and saying I'm searching this is as inept as saying the girl in slinky red things had deserved to be raped, you sick @@@@!

I won't be reduced to what is so very cheap & boring as hell.

I am like a lot of people here kind of upset to see flickr, such a wonderful creative and inspiring place be used in such a pathetic way to show off with crappy porn mongers snapshot ...
I have widen my tolerance and acceptance but I'm not fond of tasteless shit, you can do your shit!

I say freedom!

But don't bother adding me or asking for more and for the pervy comments and flickr message, oh well...
Take a moment looking at my profile you'll see I'm not from your tribe;-)

It's funny because I have waited so long to dare post more of my nude art work, I used to sort of prefer to 'hide' under another username that I've deleted :P
I knew what would happen, I knew about the creepy stalkers and such.

But that won't stop me from being me.
and I have been offered a tripod for xmas so I will enjoy myself!

this said I'm not hypocrite perhaps elitist if being bitching about people who comments and bother adding me when their stream is cheap porn release (yawns)means elitism ;)
so now you're warned, I don't have time to waste you'll just be blocked, better be a lurking quiet stalker...now Shut it up!

(that's what I wrote at my flickr)



I don't know what happened to this painting really...I don't know...
I was so happy to come back and to paint again, I was craving for this so bad,drove me insane...



I love that song, that's all ^-^
makes me want to sing like crazy :-)









MY wishes with the Witch series:
A beautiful New year's Eve my friends, Make a wish at midnight

Be healthy, be fine,free your mind even more in 2008, shed the self, all the unecessary thoughts, be alive, believe, be yourself, create, Inspire, share with the world, bring your own soul sparks to life, trust your inner Muse/Fae child..., Love More( so many ways to love why should it be reduced?)Taste the magick of the Instant Taste the Bliss of Here & now, never say it's too late, burry all your wrong beliefs, erase all the silly Excuses, Live More...la vie est tellement courte...tellement courte...

Remember you are beautiful & so alive as soon as you Love,

Bonne année Sisters & Brothers!
Blessed be & Namasté!

I'm thinking about vloging at my youtube sometimes, but never get the energy for it...we'll see...

well I'll try to blog about the rest this weekend, because time flies & I have to eat chocolate :P and go paint ^_^

Hope everyone is fine, excited to begin a new year like a blank canvas, this is how I feel and will even feel this more when I'll turn shhhhh don't say it ...years young ^_^
Life is beautiful even with its unerasable melancholical side...