vendredi 23 octobre 2009

Entering the 5th month of Pregnancy

So I have just seen my doctor
I'm 20 weeks and 3 days pregnant, which means I am in the 5th month and getting closer to the next u/s that I'm so waiting for!!

Today I heard my baby's heart again, it was really reassuring and so lovely to hear:)
I could never be bored or stop being amazed by this magic!

My blood pressure is very low which is surely why I got this almost fainting, stressful event last week!Oh I never had this before!
Even when I had panic attacks I could see things black suddenly and stiffle, but here Everything was turning around me, and I was walking on waves, walking like a drunkard trying to find help!
I was alone when it happened and it was dark so I got worried to just fall on the floor and Goddess knows what would have happened!
But luckyly I found help at my former neighbour's home, a lovely grandma that reminds me my own grandmother so much:)
I was very grateful!
Your Extreme Introvert

and thank Goddess no more fainting event just lightheaded and fatigue.
I eat enough and healthy food.
I take my everything is alright, I just need rest!
ha! but I finally would like to take pictures of my pregnancy! or at least giving a try at this!

But for this I need to tidy the room that is the artist studio, baby's room and all:)
it's still a mess because I need to buy furnitures and fix shelves on the wall.

We should do this, this weekend I hope.

I have taken spontaneous selfies:
and that's a recent picture

my face does not look different, just happier and sillier than ever ^___^;;
in fact being a mom to be, makes me more mature and also more childish at the same time
I know that with having kids you reconnect even more with your inner child and this is how you better understand, relate and communicate with your babies/children.

I am so eager to be a mother, to hold my baby...
It still seems so unreal to me, maybe also because I dont know the sex, so I dont know who is my baby, and what is her/his name ?

I cannot wait for this!

Enael Sonnets

Petite sorcière du livre d'émois

Elle a dit je veux mourir tout à l heure j'ai dit danse danse danse petite soeur

She bled the word of her hatred for life
cages with candles and nowhere to go
She said I want to die in an hour
I said dance dance dance little sister
Aware of her contagious darkness she cut her hair
Tick tock feathers thorns and hands away
caressing the void everyday
She said I want to die in an hour
In the cupboard a diary
Demons are knocking at her door at the magic hour
She cannot face the face of her real desire
pages of lies she tries to believe
Little sister dance dance dance
He said "even if life is terrible days can be so beautiful"
I know by heart the sound of your devilish girls
I had the same in my hair
all mean witches entangled to my rotting kites
I wish they were kittens
I wish the snow had covered the flames
I wish I had a sister to understand my pain

She said I cannot live my life I hate my soul and the mirror
breaks in my heart
how many more years without
She said I want to die in an hour
I said dance dance dance little sister(...)


yesterday I was inspired by a girl who reminded me when I was younger and that's why I just wrote this quick creative writing, sounds like a song...
I wish I could help her.
I still wish I could help others to find a better way to be free, to be themselves, to see clearly , to stop intoxicating themselves with wrong beliefs and self depreciation or selflessness, it is so sad...


I dont look like myself on this image, I think it's one of the interestingness of photography and retouching images:)
how we can play with personas, and recreate things that are deep within.


More Sacred Than I Am


Ophelia risen from the waters of poetry

I am still enjoying creating images, it's been a while and I'm slowly tiptoeing back towards my inner muses and enjoying a dance or two;)

and I hope to paint again soon but this requires so much energy and concentration that I don't have at the moment, so I am being patient.


and this was my 3 months pregnant belly;)
so I hope to find time and energy to take more creative and even artistic ones soon, if I can,if inspiration is there!

Seb and I got our PACS and are so glad about it:)

nothing romantic about this but to us it's an important step towards a wedding later;)
but now I am calling him my husband and truly it just sounds so lovely!

we celebrate at the restaurant but we will surely celebrate again with seb's dad, then seb's mom and my parents who are coming for a rather long visit on 6th november!
The day of the next u/s isn t this just too cool?

I am so happy!

I have many ideas about the baby's room decoration, but we will do that in late november I guess.
Last weekend we invited a couple of friends, our brand new friends here that are really nice people!
So I cooked for them, a real meal with everything cooked by myself:)
I could realise how tiring it is, especially while being pregnant, but I really had fun and I feel good when I cook.
I love to please people and also to learn to become a real Chef ^___^

In fact I have always been interested by the art of cooking, the creativity behind this, but right now I am just following recipe and doing them with my own touch but later when I'm good and confident I'll try to be creative:)
But I'll never keep a food blog, I love them, they are very interesting but I have so many other things to do and blog about;)

poetic terrorism finally on sale for the public!

The book is still selling and I got great feedbacks about it:)
buy your copy here

keep on buying it and make the profit for the charity Enfance Nepal au touvet increase!!!
This makes me so happy each morning to see a new sale!
I am very proud of this book, it's for me a real achievement in something I have always wanted to do for ages and I just collected ideas for years and never started something real!
This is a real step in helping others with ART/HEART
and this means so much to me because it's the path I am following no matter what they say ;)

mardi 13 octobre 2009

Poetic Terrorism, my first but surely not the last Heart project!

poetic terrorism finally on sale for the public!

you buy a work of heart and art and all proceeds will go to a charity that helps children in Nepal which is something that really touches me.
(more info at the links)

the wonderful generous and( oh so patient) artists included in this book:

Alexandra Efrimov

Amanda De Vito

Anna Kieblesz

Anna Malina Zemlianski

Cari Ann Wayman

Carlina Hooper

Carmen Götz

Cécile de Vries

Charlotte Boeyden

Charlotte Miceli

Diana Debord

Lisa Sieczka aka Elle Moss

Emily Hunt

Eva Moreno López

Fabienne Lin

Florencia Lira

Hélène Deroubaix

Helle Kristensen

Iva Yaneva

Jana Pryor

Jen Grace Kull

Jessica Silversaga

Judith Crispin

Karin Bengtsson

Katie Mullins

Kendra Rutledge

Kerstin Auer

Leanne Surfleet

Lydia Hansen

Maia Van Ingen

Michelle McRae

Michelle Merle Pace

Misty Mawn

Olya Seredyuk

Shelbie Dimond

Sofia Ajram

Teresa Horstmann

thank you again to each of you so much for helping me make this dream project a reality!

blessings and bright light!


vendredi 9 octobre 2009

Oh selene , Hecate is bleeding...

I am utterly pissed off at the damn mission of the NASA of bombing the moon.
I am busy right now but way too tired to do anything and I feel like writing and sharing because I cannot stay on mute mod when I read such things , when I see those reactions, Goddess it pisses me off!

Those so called lecturers who think they are better than you making generality and exagerration like oh what a world without science let's suppress everything that takes money to give it all to the poor then!
How fucking cynical and haughty!

I am so ashamed of this mankind at times, really. I wish the Universe can forgive us, this overpride, they need to take everything under control, to possess, to produce more,use,abuse, with no gratitude with no respect with no damn humility!
How insane and how cruel is all that!

you only have to look at the way they do the cultures of cereals and the GMO
yes we eat them for sure in many kind of food maybe even in our breakfast bowl of fav cereals and it's not written on the package of course;)
the right to choose what to eat huh?mind you,it's not in their interest if they write GMO, less and less people would buy.

I try to avoid to buy with MSG,with fake sugars(it gives cancers), hydrogenate oils, what is funny is now on ads on tv they begin to say this " without hydrogenate oils"
without paraben

why a world with all those toxic things in our food and cosmetics had to be made this way?
why now it's gonna be commercial to write all the without all our past crap?
insane world!ugliness!hypocrisy!

I am very upset.
it's not only the moon bombing mission, it's the whole way the world is and how we keep doing the same mistakes.

The way animals are treated in certain place. We eat them, why do we need to torture them and lack of respect to them?

I am not against meat eaters at all. I used to be some kind of neo veggie but with pregnancy I had to eat meat again.

I am tolerant and I do believe yes science can teach us things and it's interesting to know more about our solar system etc, but all the money to bomb the moon to see what she has in her guts? fuck that crap!
I can't explain how this is not normal this not something we should feel allowed to do.
Besides the latest mission on the moon said they found water, what was it already? such a tiny percent that it was totally ridicule!

I just cannot bear arms and the use of violence on everything, I cannot accept the way we keep treating Gaia and really this news about the bombing on the moon and reading there was Impact party and some so called smart ass scientific saying it's gonna be cool?
do we belong to the same galaxy?
it's the same Americans who wanted to try hiroshima, the same kind of people who made the nuclear and wants to make us think it's a clean energy whereas they still have a hard time to control it, remember tchernobyl...sometimes I can't believe I am in this world, all these disasters, all these damages, in the name of what?science?progress?could they stop taking us for jerks for a sec?

I cannot accept the lack of respect.

The moon is such a symbol too,it's related to the feminine cycle and I love the moon's energy.

"Mummy, if they bomb the moon does that mean we won't have any more Night?"

I wish this mankind could be more responsible,kinder,more respectful.
I am a mere dreamy idealist, I do believe with all the money involved in things like these we could have saved some children from hunger, we could done better things,but of course no, we dont give a fuck about this.

We care about poverty only when it is good for our political campaign and image.

I dont believe in a world of peace,there will always be wars it seems, because it's good for the occidental societies' business...neither do I believe in a world without capitalism alas... but I believe there is a waste of money that could be used to save our planet that is dying.
We keep on being warned and do so little about this.
I believe there is a waste of money that could help the poor countries but only if we weren't so demago about them, selling them arms so they can keep on killing one another so they die more quickly and the rich gets richer
yeah call it a simplistic view, but it sums up a lot.

I am not only aiming at science money, it could also be advertisement money!
all that bullshit on tv! all this money that could feed so much...
well you know the poor are not that far, we dont need to go to Africa or India,sometimes it's your neighbour or down the street!
yes people live with so little.

a minority of wealthy jerks take the power...such imbalance...
and we keep on paying insane and insulting wages men who kick a ball...yes maybe I'm mixing it all, but it's capitalism ,greed,power...
I am disgusted.

I am not perfect,I belong to this mankind but I feel I'm aware of what we're doing and it's painful to see and to feel so powerless.
I want to live in harmony with our planet, trying to be an eco citizen, protecting Gaia as much as I can.
Recycling, sparing water,not wasting energy,using fair trade and ecological products.
I wish there were more people engaged in this fight.

As a mother to be, I want a better world for my kids, I feel its so saddening to see all the disaster and not to be able to react more than with words and creative expression.

I would never join any political parties because I have a hard time believing any of those people, it often seems merely about power.
But I am much more into ecologist parties and communist.
Because I believe we could share more.

In an ideal world things would be easier because we would all trade skills, I imagine a world with mighty $ & €
maybe that sounds naive and going back to old ages, it's very idealistic for sure but we all have skilled to trade, we would all feel useful to another one and we would feel more united, would interact more, maybe respect one another more.

I am very sad that in our society the value of a man is often seen according to his wages,and don't tell me it's not true.
I have seen it, I have lived it how you are mere shit to society when you do not earn money.

But you know when I see what Americans are doing I'm scared too about what the Arabian countries could plan together and what about the Chinese?

This world is a place where power & money has definetly become more important than humanity and well we should by now find this normal.Like they say , this is the life!